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Ladies Forum A place for our female Calgunners to discuss, share and interact without the 'excess attention' sometimes found in online forums.

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  #1  
Old 05-31-2010, 6:50 PM
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Question Did this turn the girl off?

Ok so my buddy is 35 single and been wanting to get a gf to settle down with.
He got set up on a date with a girl about a month ago.He likes her and hes gone to lunch with once or twice and talks to her on the phone a bit.Tonight he was supposed to go to dinner with her and he texted her and said are we still going out tonight? She said yes.But in his second text to her he said "look I don't have a lot of money so it has to be somewhere kinda cheap" `(i'm paraphrasing). 20 minutes go buy and she returns the text and say I can't go my daughter isn't going with her dad after all.do you think that turned her off? Or she really just can't go.
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  #2  
Old 05-31-2010, 7:02 PM
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Turned her off.

If you have a date planned, don't complain about not having money for it.
Either save for it, or better, plan the date within your budget and take her there without the disclaimer "this is all I could afford".
If she's happy with where they went, then she's happy. If she's not happy, then she's looking for someone out of his league (or maybe out of her league, but she'll discover that soon enough).
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A just gov't will not be overthrown by force or violence because the people have no incentive to overthrow a just gov't. If a minority of people attempt such an insurrection to grab power and enslave the people, the RKBA is our insurance against their success.
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Old 05-31-2010, 7:02 PM
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that thar R funny

1st dinner date... paraphrase "no money, need to be cheap" txt message...

Yep, just a coincidence about the daughter not going with Dad.

He would have been better off sending a facebook invite, I think that is what the other thread concluded.

Could be paraphrasing though...
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Old 05-31-2010, 7:14 PM
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Genius!

Good way to weed 'em out.
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Old 05-31-2010, 7:15 PM
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She helped him save face.
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  #6  
Old 05-31-2010, 7:22 PM
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I think your buddy needs to stop text talking a date. he should of just planned the date within his budget. if she is a normal woman she would understand and have no complaints. if she is a gold digging b***h then its good that your buddy found out early on.

PS why the hell are you posting in the ladies forum?
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Old 05-31-2010, 7:24 PM
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Genius!

Good way to weed 'em out.
LMAO! No s##t!
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Old 05-31-2010, 7:24 PM
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I think it was the second date (with my now wife) that she came over to my place, we cruised around on a Mule, picked wild blackberries and ended up eating nothing but the blackberries and some of a costco jar or cashews that I had. So, it is possible to take a girl out on a cheap date (how much cheaper can you get than having to forage for your dinner of nuts and berries?) and still end up marrying her. BTW, the wild walnuts on the property weren't ready so, we just had the cashews instead.
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  #9  
Old 05-31-2010, 7:30 PM
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Ya... I once took a bar pickup to a motel and we went dutch.... but we both wanted exactly the same thing.
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Originally Posted by dantodd View Post
A just gov't will not be overthrown by force or violence because the people have no incentive to overthrow a just gov't. If a minority of people attempt such an insurrection to grab power and enslave the people, the RKBA is our insurance against their success.
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  #10  
Old 05-31-2010, 7:31 PM
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I think your buddy needs to stop text talking a date. he should of just planned the date within his budget. if she is a normal woman she would understand and have no complaints. if she is a gold digging b***h then its good that your buddy found out early on.

PS why the hell are you posting in the ladies forum?
I wanted a ladies perspective.I told him not to say anything to her about not being able to afford this or that.If he can't afford a nice restaurant he can't afford to date.
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Old 05-31-2010, 7:38 PM
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Originally Posted by novabrian View Post
...If he can't afford a nice restaurant he can't afford to date.
This, at least the first date anyway.

Didn't notice this was posted in the ladies forum before replying earlier so gracefully(?) bowing out...
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Old 05-31-2010, 7:38 PM
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I find the whole concept of "weeding them out" works both ways.

As the girl, if I get a text message from a guy discussing finances prior to our first dinner date, especially a girl who has a child, who is most likely dating to settle down, why would I want to invest in a long-term relationship with someone who, at 35, still has financial concerns for a simple dinner date?

Now, for all we know she really had babysitting issues, but as others mentioned, plan the date within your means, yes. But no need to flaunt or stress your finances then and there either.

It's not gold digging to want someone who can meet your financial standards.
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Old 05-31-2010, 7:43 PM
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Maybe something came up, maybe not. It's impossible to tell based on this, since sometimes problems really do come up. If she blows him off after this, it's more likely that she either doesn't like that he is broke or didn't like the weird way he brought it up. In future, it's probably better for him if he just picks his favorite dive bar or hole-in-the-wall restaurant. Then he looks like a guy who knows cool places to go.

I don't really understand the dating drama about money though.
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Old 05-31-2010, 7:48 PM
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And again.... define "someplace cheap"

Was he talking "I can't afford Ruth's Chris so is Teppan okay?"
Or was he talking Sizzler or Denny's?
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A just gov't will not be overthrown by force or violence because the people have no incentive to overthrow a just gov't. If a minority of people attempt such an insurrection to grab power and enslave the people, the RKBA is our insurance against their success.
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  #15  
Old 05-31-2010, 7:51 PM
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And again.... define "someplace cheap"

Was he talking "I can't afford Ruth's Chris so is Teppan okay?"
Or was he talking Sizzler or Denny's?
That I can't say.Just the fact that he said something is bad enough.
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  #16  
Old 05-31-2010, 7:55 PM
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Originally Posted by Sajedene View Post
I find the whole concept of "weeding them out" works both ways.

As the girl, if I get a text message from a guy discussing finances prior to our first dinner date, especially a girl who has a child, who is most likely dating to settle down, why would I want to invest in a long-term relationship with someone who, at 35, still has financial concerns for a simple dinner date?

Now, for all we know she really had babysitting issues, but as others mentioned, plan the date within your means, yes. But no need to flaunt or stress your finances then and there either.

It's not gold digging to want someone who can meet your financial standards.

YUP YUP I agree with the above, Who's says that? in a text, "look I don't have a lot of money so it has to be somewhere kinda cheap"??

And the "weeding out" comments? I'm no means a gold digger but I don't think I'd date a man that would say something weird like that. Yeah I have to say it was a turn off and she probably wont go out with him again.

It kinda goes with the whole, if he really liked me, he would try and impress me deal... Not pricey expensive restaurants but at least give an impression that it was something he has been planning or looking forward to also.
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Old 05-31-2010, 7:57 PM
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That I can't say.Just the fact that he said something is bad enough.
Taco Bell, and "we go dutch, and I have a buy one get one free coupon so mine is free" is kinda cheap.
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  #18  
Old 05-31-2010, 8:04 PM
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YUP YUP I agree with the above, Who's says that? in a text, "look I don't have a lot of money so it has to be somewhere kinda cheap"??

And the "weeding out" comments? I'm no means a gold digger but I don't think I'd date a man that would say something weird like that. Yeah I have to say it was a turn off and she probably wont go out with him again.

It kinda goes with the whole, if he really liked me, he would try and impress me deal... Not pricey expensive restaurants but at least give an impression that it was something he has been planning or looking forward to also.
Yes you are absolutely right.There were girls I liked and when I took them out I took them to nice places I couldn't afford.Put it on a credit card and paid it off later.I wanted to impress them and for them to know I liked them and they were worth more than the Denny's,McDonalds Etc.When you are courting you have to spend the money,not ridiculous amounts but more than just hanging out with bros.Also she might be thinking "F" this guy he can't spend a little money on me yet he is probably going to try to get into my pants like every other guy!
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Old 05-31-2010, 8:10 PM
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Yes you are absolutely right.There were girls I liked and when I took them out I took them to nice places I couldn't afford.Put it on a credit card and paid it off later.I wanted to impress them and for them to know I liked them and they were worth more than the Denny's,McDonalds Etc.When you are courting you have to spend the money,not ridiculous amounts but more than just hanging out with bros.!
This just seems crazy to me. Why not just pick a place you like to eat that is inexpensive? Dennys and McDonalds suck, but there are lots of great places in major cities which are cheap but tasty. Your favorite local Mexican/Indian/Thai establishment or something... if you take somebody to a place which is cheap but delicious, you're letting them in on your secret.
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Old 05-31-2010, 8:25 PM
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I think it was the second date (with my now wife) that she came over to my place, we cruised around on a Mule, picked wild blackberries and ended up eating nothing but the blackberries and some of a costco jar or cashews that I had. So, it is possible to take a girl out on a cheap date (how much cheaper can you get than having to forage for your dinner of nuts and berries?) and still end up marrying her. BTW, the wild walnuts on the property weren't ready so, we just had the cashews instead.
mule rides and wild berries are a bit hard to find here in the city. haha.


also, for the original post, if the guy is paying then he should be the one dictating where to go. (within his price range.)

Last edited by aaronraby1; 05-31-2010 at 8:31 PM..
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Old 05-31-2010, 8:25 PM
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This just seems crazy to me. Why not just pick a place you like to eat that is inexpensive? Dennys and McDonalds suck, but there are lots of great places in major cities which are cheap but tasty. Your favorite local Mexican/Indian/Thai establishment or something... if you take somebody to a place which is cheap but delicious, you're letting them in on your secret.
I dunno what his plan was.I just got off the phone and he said "Oh well her canceling saved me $20 bucks" I don't where he planned on taking her for $10 each.I just laugh at him now.
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Old 05-31-2010, 8:30 PM
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I think with the information you gave us it is impossible to tell.
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Old 05-31-2010, 8:31 PM
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I dunno what his plan was.I just got off the phone and he said "Oh well her canceling saved me $20 bucks" I don't where he planned on taking her for $10 each.I just laugh at him now.
tell you friend next time to cook something and offer to do a picnic or something.

I don't know where he planned to eat for $10 on a date...
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Old 05-31-2010, 8:31 PM
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This just seems crazy to me. Why not just pick a place you like to eat that is inexpensive? Dennys and McDonalds suck, but there are lots of great places in major cities which are cheap but tasty. Your favorite local Mexican/Indian/Thai establishment or something... if you take somebody to a place which is cheap but delicious, you're letting them in on your secret.
i LOVEE thai!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Old 05-31-2010, 8:33 PM
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i LOVEE thai!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Chicken panang and tom kha gai are among the best foods ever invented.
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Old 05-31-2010, 8:33 PM
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tell you friend next time to cook something and offer to do a picnic or something.

I don't know where he planned to eat for $10 on a date...
He can't cook to save his life.
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Old 05-31-2010, 8:34 PM
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I dunno what his plan was.I just got off the phone and he said "Oh well her canceling saved me $20 bucks" I don't where he planned on taking her for $10 each.I just laugh at him now.

Well we can see where his priorities are. She is not worth $20 to him.
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Old 05-31-2010, 8:34 PM
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He can't cook to save his life.
If I can force it into the microwave I can cook it!
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Old 05-31-2010, 8:41 PM
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He can't cook to save his life.
then how does he feed his self?

Really I think she is the one who dodged the bullet not him. Your friend doesn't seem to be a great catch to me.
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Old 05-31-2010, 8:53 PM
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If I can force it into the microwave I can cook it!
That's his philosophy.If it fits through his car window or in his microwave he's good.
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Old 05-31-2010, 8:59 PM
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Chicken panang and tom kha gai are among the best foods ever invented.
its always called something different depending where you go. i go to this place in hollywood, i forget what its called but i get the mint chicken and glass noodles. mmmm!!
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Old 05-31-2010, 8:59 PM
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then how does he feed his self?

Really I think she is the one who dodged the bullet not him. Your friend doesn't seem to be a great catch to me.
^^^ This

My Cousin was the same way. All he could do was Campbell soup, rice, and toast. But, if you REALLY want that gal to settle down with, you WILL learn all sorts of skills. I think the first one he should learn is how to COMMUNICATE!!!

BTW, my Cousin learned to cook, still is single, but he bought a restaurant so he solved his problem in a more interesting way.
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Old 05-31-2010, 9:01 PM
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That's his philosophy.If it fits through his car window or in his microwave he's good.
I don't mind that I do not cook. There are other positive attributes to consider. It sounds like, in this case, that not being able to cook is just a signal for not being able to be responsible for one's self.
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Old 05-31-2010, 9:20 PM
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I'm not going to try to help him anymore.You can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink!
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Old 05-31-2010, 9:33 PM
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there's another way.. ask the date:" what time are you having dinner?" if she says" 7 pm", then say, I'll pick you up at 8 :P
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Old 05-31-2010, 9:33 PM
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There's a reason this guy is 35 and not able to date successfully.
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Old 05-31-2010, 9:44 PM
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I'm not going to try to help him anymore.You can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink!
I agree
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Old 06-01-2010, 7:08 AM
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Originally Posted by aaronraby1 View Post
mule rides and wild berries are a bit hard to find here in the city. haha.


also, for the original post, if the guy is paying then he should be the one dictating where to go. (within his price range.)
Really? I was living 3 miles off the 101 in the Thousand Oaks area. I was using it as an example of using what you have instead of trying to buy you way into someone's heart. Oh yea, the Mule was a Kawasaki 4x4. There we no 4 legged mules on the property. We had gotten rid of the hourses and I did not have saddles for the 5 donkeys that were there. Of course, the alpacas and llamas would not have been strong enough to pack us around either. That's why we used the Mule.

As far as wild blackberries berries go, I have found them in and around EVERY city that I've worked in in socal. You just need to know where and how to find them. They can be hidden in paks, drainage areas, vacant lots, greenbelts, etc. Or, you can just tell yourself that there aren't any around.

No matter what you decide about collecting berries, you can always find a way to impress without spending much money. A picnic dinner in a park, at the beach, on a downtown rooftop, etc. If she's into the whole "save the planet" thing, you could take her out collecting cans, cash them in and buy dinner with the procedes. I realize this won't work for most women though. The more creative you get, the less you'll HAVE TO spend.
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  #39  
Old 06-01-2010, 8:32 AM
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+++1 on creativity and thoughtfulness CSACANNONEER.
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Old 06-01-2010, 8:36 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CSACANNONEER View Post
Really? I was living 3 miles off the 101 in the Thousand Oaks area. I was using it as an example of using what you have instead of trying to buy you way into someone's heart. Oh yea, the Mule was a Kawasaki 4x4. There we no 4 legged mules on the property. We had gotten rid of the hourses and I did not have saddles for the 5 donkeys that were there. Of course, the alpacas and llamas would not have been strong enough to pack us around either. That's why we used the Mule.

As far as wild blackberries berries go, I have found them in and around EVERY city that I've worked in in socal. You just need to know where and how to find them. They can be hidden in paks, drainage areas, vacant lots, greenbelts, etc. Or, you can just tell yourself that there aren't any around.

No matter what you decide about collecting berries, you can always find a way to impress without spending much money. A picnic dinner in a park, at the beach, on a downtown rooftop, etc. If she's into the whole "save the planet" thing, you could take her out collecting cans, cash them in and buy dinner with the procedes. I realize this won't work for most women though. The more creative you get, the less you'll HAVE TO spend.
THIS

great advice.
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I know you and frankly since we're being honest you disgust me.
In all honesty I waffle between finding you disgusting and pitying you that your life is so void of anything substantial that you measure yourself by 'conquests' and who you know that can get you in where.
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