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Calgunners in Service This forum is a place for our active duty and deployed members to share, request and have a bit of home where ever they are. |
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#1
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Need some advice on relationships guys (about to deploy)
I didnt want to put this in the general off topic forum since I feel you guys here would be better equipped to help me out. Here is the short story.
Fell in love with a girl. Everything was going great but then she always takes a "vacation" every two months to go see her "friend" at Ft Cambell. So this POG is doing god knows what as he is telling her he is SF and high speed. He threatened me on myspace which is pretty pathetic and wouldnt ever expect that from an elite. I checked out his profile and he is FAT and old and she told me he can't pass his 2 mile PT test run. (pretty sure SF pt test is a lot farther than 2 miles) and he is supposedly been in the Army for 15 years and is SF yet he is still E5. I thought SF promotes way faster especially in that amount of time frame. So he is lying to her and well, we all know whats probably going on. I thought I was going to marry this girl eventually. I gave her a little bit of space so she could make a decision in her life then she starts all this ****. I think she is just playing me now. One day we have great sex then the next day, "oh that was the last time. we are just friends." and goes back and fourth. She was one of the only people who wrote to me all the time when I was at OSUT so I thought she cared about me. She randomly deleted me off of myspace, I called her out on it and, "oh i didnt mean to. Sorry. I'll call you tomorrow." I leave in three months for a year and this is pretty much the first time I've been actually in love. Advice? I refuse to drop to his level and threaten him over the internet or on the phone. He does come out here once in a while. Oh yeah. He is currently married but going through a divorce. He doesnt want to push the papers till he gets back (he is deploying shortly also) so he can get the extra cash.
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Buy my EO Tech XPS3-0!!! For those nutjobs who like to use the word "gouge" Note: I did not write the above article. Any carpenters in Socal want a side project? Last edited by Maddog5150; 04-21-2009 at 6:40 PM.. Reason: meant he cant pass his pt test |
#2
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Sorry but it's clear that the relationship is a one way street. Kick her to the curb, you'll get over her soon enough. Besides, you need to keep a clear head when you're in the sand box. If you're dealing with drama at home while overseas you could get someone killed. Be safe when you're over there.
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#5
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Maddog5150, I agree with what has been said. I am not big on handing out relationship advice, but I think you need to let this one go.
I know that is difficult, as you say you are in love, but love is reciprocal, by two people, and it sounds like you don't have that. You are going on deployment, and this is the perfect time to walk. I would add, you need your head in the game, and the distraction of drama at home is not in your best interest. You are young, in the service, which is a demanding mistress, be patient. When the right woman comes along, and the timing is good, it will all be worth it.
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"If Congress can do whatever in their discretion can be done by money, and will promote the General Welfare, the Government is no longer a limited one, possessing enumerated powers, but an indefinite one, subject to particular exceptions." --James Madison 'Letter to Edmund Pendleton', 1792 |
#7
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Falling in love such a western non-sense. i say dump her and move on. Her is a bit of AJ secret- never tell a girl you love her, only exception is when you are about to get some and say it while not meaning it. the crappier-not abusive, that is not cool- you treat a chick the more she'd love you.
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NRA CERTIFIED INSTRUCTOR SGT USMC OEF/OIF A fear of weapons is a sign of retarded sexual and emotional maturity. Sigmond Freud |
#8
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i would keep it how it is, just dont trust her. when you get mid tour leave tour leave you have your first stop lined up, and someone who might send u packages while deployed. just keep your money in your pocket.
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#10
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For my mid tour leave I was going to tour europe. check out amsterdam, swedan (I hear the chicks there love americans) see the beaches of normandy.
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Buy my EO Tech XPS3-0!!! For those nutjobs who like to use the word "gouge" Note: I did not write the above article. Any carpenters in Socal want a side project? |
#13
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Walk away, right now.
Refuse her calls, don't answer emails. Trust me, it's for the best.
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#14
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Yeah. its hard but you all are right. Funny how its the stupid **** in life that gets you all wrapped up.
On another note. Isnt it illegal in UCMJ for this poser to claim SF? And illegal in UCMJ to be banging her if he is married?
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Buy my EO Tech XPS3-0!!! For those nutjobs who like to use the word "gouge" Note: I did not write the above article. Any carpenters in Socal want a side project? |
#15
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Dont worry about the other guy
he is not the problem just one of the symptoms
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"I would rather be exposed to the inconveniences attending too much liberty than to those attending too small a degree of it." - Thomas Jefferson |
#16
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i think but im not sure and yes.
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#17
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End it, too many fish in the sea to waste time on a girl you can't trust.
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I do not provide legal services or practice law (yet). The troublemaker formerly known as Blackwater OPS. |
#18
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Bro, she smells like barracks rat. Dump her. TRUST US. Too many women out there to be hung up on one.
As for your mid-tour vacation, that's similar to what I did. Took the R&R flight into Frankfurt (this is when RH AB was still there) and hit 6 cities in 5 countries in Europe in two weeks It was seriously the best move I made. Hit me up on the PM if you want some advice on where to go. Back to the chick: dump her dump her dump her. Everyone here likely has a lot of experience in this field so if everyone is saying dump her...you should probably listen. I could write a book about this, but I'm just going to skip to the conclusion. |
#19
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Tried. She wont
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Buy my EO Tech XPS3-0!!! For those nutjobs who like to use the word "gouge" Note: I did not write the above article. Any carpenters in Socal want a side project? |
#20
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<Removed - we aren't starting this game up again!>
You dont even have to dump her, just pull your head out of your *** and quit with all this love ****, your a man, grab your balls and laugh, you can still pee standing up! This chick is just playing you, and please dont f yourself all up by getting married or even thinking about it, EVERY SINGLE one of my friends who was in the active forces, came home olny to find that thier wives had all cheated on them.. Just keep yourself single, PIITB and keep playing your cards.. If you Marry this chick, she will ruin your life, just change her nickname to DRAMA and PIIHBFTW! lol... Last edited by jmlivingston; 04-22-2009 at 11:52 AM.. |
#22
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Get your own life together first.
I don['t know how old you are, but you need to make decisions for yourself as far as relationships go.
I evaluate all people really quickly and I am a brutal *****. I don't waste my time anymore, so here is my critieria and it will save you and others alot of gried. 1. Of course, attraction. If you are not attracted to someone, why bother. If your energy with that person isn't a off the scale, move on. 2. Core values. This is tough, but if your values are not in sinc, the relationship will blow apart. If you are looking for just friends with benefits, that is one thing, but if you want something deeper, you shouldn't be wasting your time and energy. 3. What are your goals for your life, what is your purpose? Is someone you are with going to help you get where you want to go or are they going to hold you back. Drama queens hold you back. Saying what you want to do with your life shows you have direction and actually have balls. It shows you are a leader, not a sheep. 4. Of course family and friends. If either of you have problems with family/friends, this could blow a relationship apart. Love is troubling because you think with your heart, not your head. You are going to be in hostile territory, your head has to be right. If someone is not with you 100 percent, dump them. Relationships don't need to be complicated. It is simple, you are with each other or you aren't. A movie that is a great love story is "True Romance". It is on video. Also a great action flick. Nicki |
#24
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You did the recon and you have the intel. Now negotiate that obstacle so you can hit the objective. Mark that on your map though you can always use it as a RP from time to time. CM!
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http://youtu.be/7Ii2kyQP-Is |
#25
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Ditch her as quick as you can. Why do you even need to ask?
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bob Disclaimers: I am not a lawyer, cop, soldier, gunsmith, politician, plumber, electrician, or a professional practitioner of many of the other things I comment on in this forum. |
#26
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Not to be mistaken for the 7 Army Values
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#27
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Basically told her whatever.
Thought about the whole trust thing that you guys brought up. Now I have a date after work today Not with her of course
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Buy my EO Tech XPS3-0!!! For those nutjobs who like to use the word "gouge" Note: I did not write the above article. Any carpenters in Socal want a side project? |
#29
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kick her to the curb. there are plenty of single Army chicks that you can hook up with.
besides it's been said allready keep your head in the game there not here.
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http://govnews.ca.gov/gov39mail/mail.php Thank your neighbor and fellow gun owners for passing Prop 63. For that gun control is a winning legislative agenda. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z6Dj8tdSC1A contact the governor https://govnews.ca.gov/gov39mail/mail.php In Memory of Spc Torres May 5th 2006 al-Hillah, Iraq. I will miss you my friend. NRA Life Member. |
#30
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Dude... Military life just isn't very conducive to good, stable, long term relationships. Military life can be a pain in the backside on families too. That being said, the right person will be the exception to that rule.
You need to be very careful about who you pick for a relationship. Stay away from drama queens. Want long term relationship? Think low maintenance and someone you trust. COMPLETELY. |
#31
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Dont be another military divorce statistic.
Kick her to the curb and pin her down with the car tire and RUN!!!! You'll thank us old NCO's later. Trust me you will meet somebody way better with a good head on her shoulders. Marrying a drama queen skank will be expensive for you financially and emotionally in the long run.
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Charlie Foxtrot Last edited by 99medic; 04-22-2009 at 9:24 PM.. |
#32
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[QUOTE=.22guy;2357702]Walk away, right now.
Refuse her calls, don't answer emails. Trust me, it's for the best.[/QUOTE] +1, Sorry I am not military but I have been married for 12years, (good marriage) and take the advice, leave her. She will just continue to destroy you, i was with a woman like that, they just used guys like us when they are bored or need something! Trust me, there are tons of good women left. If she really loved you, she wouldnt be visiting ANYBODY!! Why would you wanna love somebody who doesnt love you back.. Just leave and keep a clear mind.. Good luck and think with your brain and not your heart. You obviously know something is wrong, thats why you posted on here. Do the right thing buddy.. I was broken hearted for a year, then i realized what a dummy i was... |
#33
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End it now. She is not worth your time and trust me when I say you meet other girls.
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If you loan someone twenty dollars and never see them again, it was probably worth it. |
#34
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Kick her to the curb.
On another note, someone needs to put this poser in his place. The mil has very little tolerance for posers. If you have anything that you can use to prove he is posing, then contact his CoC, and he WILL be dealt with.
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#35
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Spring of 1993, She was a bartender here in SD, great body, beautiful smile but she was nuttier than a squirrel turd. Her #1 goal was to find a military man to rescue her from all the chaos and confusion she created in her life. I was in my early 20's and thought her insanity was a minor flaw that we could work through.
It took me several weeks to figure out that the f-ing I got wasn't worth the f-ing I got and we broke up just before deployment. When we returned six months later, she stopped by my command, "just to say hi" She had gotten on base with her new dependant ID, and was three months pregnant....... No need to go on with my story but please trust me, she ain't worth it. Break up with her now. |
#36
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I think you should break up and move on, life is way too short to put up with all the BS. She is someones future ex, alimony and all, don't let it be you.
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"They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety." Benjamin Franklin "I won't be wronged. I won't be insulted. I won't be laid a hand on. I don't do these things to other people and I expect the same from them." John Wayne |
#37
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Quote:
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#38
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Quote:
X2. I don't like military posers. |
#39
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So...how'd the mystery date go?
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Sir William Muir: “The sword of Muhammad and the Qur’an (Koran) are the most fatal enemies of civilization, truth, and liberty which the world has yet known.” Frustratedinca, mojo, Rellik Remag > FU |
#40
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heheheh. VERY good
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Buy my EO Tech XPS3-0!!! For those nutjobs who like to use the word "gouge" Note: I did not write the above article. Any carpenters in Socal want a side project? |
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