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Calgunners in Service This forum is a place for our active duty and deployed members to share, request and have a bit of home where ever they are.

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  #81  
Old 01-04-2018, 2:43 AM
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Originally Posted by maxwell0700 View Post
was asking for advice on what to expect as a married man with a child.
It's not going to be easy. Not being a Marine I can't say I know, but in the Army you would not get any contact with your family while in Basic Training other than phone time, and graduation, then off to MOS school.

You might be able to live off post with your family while at MOS school. If you do, remember, you'll be getting up at 3am to make it on time to your PT before class. You'll probably get home around 8pm.

Now, if you "DO" manage to get to have your family with you while in MOS school it's going to be totally on you to find housing. Guess when you get to do it? On your own time. Guess what the business hours are of rental offices for housing? They sure as hell aren't Marine hours.

If you don't have a car then you are screwed, but you can't drive it. The Army didn't even let enlisted trainees drive. You're wife have to drive.

Not having a kid and wife at the time I was in enlisted training I can't imagine the additional stress you might be incurring. Right? It's not like you can simply walk to your barracks and crash, or study at the end of the day. You'll have a huge distraction. HUGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! While all your peers around you will have the ability to 100% focus, or just step away from formation and sleep and recharge for the next day.

Your wife is probably not going to understand the amount of bull sht you have to deal with for being the slightest bit late for anything, and why the smallest things are such a big deal.

***********

My son was born while I was in Officer MOS school. I brought my wife out with me a few months after I got there. I had to get civilian housing off post because on post stuff wasn't for temporary housing.

I had the luxury of being an officer at that time. So my weekends were mine, and I had a car I was allowed to drive around. I narrowly was able to find a place with weekend business hours and squeezed in all the paperwork, and credit checks to actually be allowed to rent an apartment. THEN I had to find a place to rent furniture. But guess what, guess when THEIR business hours are, and when they will deliver???? Yep, guess where you will be during the weekdays, and they don't deliver on weekends. So you'll have to figure that out as well.

I'm not saying it's impossible. I did it. I was an officer though, and I think I barely pulled it off. It was my entire focus of getting her out there, and doing all the things I needed to do to be allowed to be there for his birth. Class work took a back seat so long as I passed the Army Standard.

I was lucky. He was born in the final two weeks. So I only really had one final project on my back, and then we coasted from there. But she wasn't really happy.

If you are enlisted, your wife will have to do all the leg work. PERIOD. You're not going to have the time or freedom to work it.
**************

If you are active duty you might get access to family resources for housing help.

If you are reserve your a sht out of luck.
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  #82  
Old 01-04-2018, 9:46 AM
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Thanks Snoopy47, you have been consistently offering good advice and experience on here. A lot to think about but I'm sure I can work things out whichever way i decide to go and what whatever I decide to do.
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  #83  
Old 01-04-2018, 10:14 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Snoopy47 View Post
It's not going to be easy. Not being a Marine I can't say I know, but in the Army you would not get any contact with your family while in Basic Training other than phone time, and graduation, then off to MOS school.

You might be able to live off post with your family while at MOS school. If you do, remember, you'll be getting up at 3am to make it on time to your PT before class. You'll probably get home around 8pm.

Now, if you "DO" manage to get to have your family with you while in MOS school it's going to be totally on you to find housing. Guess when you get to do it? On your own time. Guess what the business hours are of rental offices for housing? They sure as hell aren't Marine hours.

If you don't have a car then you are screwed, but you can't drive it. The Army didn't even let enlisted trainees drive. You're wife have to drive.

Not having a kid and wife at the time I was in enlisted training I can't imagine the additional stress you might be incurring. Right? It's not like you can simply walk to your barracks and crash, or study at the end of the day. You'll have a huge distraction. HUGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! While all your peers around you will have the ability to 100% focus, or just step away from formation and sleep and recharge for the next day.

Your wife is probably not going to understand the amount of bull sht you have to deal with for being the slightest bit late for anything, and why the smallest things are such a big deal.
In Marine basic training, you will get a 15 second phone call to let her know that you arrived alive. You MIGHT get 5 minutes for a phone call if you 'earn' it (ie shooting expert on the range, highest score on the knowledge test, that kind of thing) or if you are extremely lucky, and the senior drill instructor is in a good mood, he might give you a phone call since your wife is pregnant just to check up on her.

You should be able to hit the pay phone booth during MCT (after basic, before MOS school) when you aren't out in the field.

You will not be allowed to live off base during your MOS school.

You will not be allowed to drive, or even enter a private vehicle while in MOS school.
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  #84  
Old 01-04-2018, 4:57 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jcourson View Post
In Marine basic training, you will get a 15 second phone call to let her know that you arrived alive. You MIGHT get 5 minutes for a phone call if you 'earn' it (ie shooting expert on the range, highest score on the knowledge test, that kind of thing) or if you are extremely lucky, and the senior drill instructor is in a good mood, he might give you a phone call since your wife is pregnant just to check up on her.

You should be able to hit the pay phone booth during MCT (after basic, before MOS school) when you aren't out in the field.

You will not be allowed to live off base during your MOS school.

You will not be allowed to drive, or even enter a private vehicle while in MOS school.
How will he know I have a wife and kids?

Not intending to live off base, just want to hurry up and go home by that time.
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  #85  
Old 01-05-2018, 1:36 AM
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How will he know I have a wife and kids?

Not intending to live off base, just want to hurry up and go home by that time.
You're enlistment records are going to have your wife and kids as dependents. I'm guessing at a minimum your Company Commander will have this information at his finger tips.

You probably are going to have an moment where the Drills lower the stress levels a notch, and a brief pow-wow with your training company where everyone introduces themselves and shares. If you hold back you'll convey to others that you are "That Guy".
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  #86  
Old 01-05-2018, 2:08 AM
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By the time I was 25, I had one year left of the second 3 year enlistment. When I was 26, I got out because of my wife and baby girl. At 19 when I went in, I had no responsibilities except to myself and my country. The military is hard on a family relationship. If my son, now with a wife and son asked me what I thought, I would say, think long and hard.
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  #87  
Old 01-07-2018, 11:53 AM
Rather Civilianized Rather Civilianized is offline
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Originally Posted by maxwell0700 View Post
At this point im just looking for ways to take care of my family financially while I'm in boot. The Sgt. says my wife is not able to access my pay...? But I've heard differently...
IIRC, the drill instructors will ask the recruits who is married early on. I believe those recruits were allowed some time to set their bank accounts up so that their wife could have access to those funds. Things could have changed since I went through boot camp, though.

Quote:
Originally Posted by maxwell0700 View Post
Im sure thats dependent on your MOS? I limited as a reservist here....looking into ammo tech though...
Yes and no. Chances are, whatever command you're assigned to will have you deploy with them when/if they deploy. You can look into things like Individual Mobilization Augmentee (deploy with a unit that is in need of your MOS) if you're trying to deploy. But chances are, in a reserve unit, you'll just train.
Also, some of the MOS structures were bad enough that it was years before the cutting scores opened up from closed. When they did, it was only for one month to let one individual promote. Then they closed off the cutting scores again. A good resource for checking this would be through the cutting scores listed on manpower.usmc.mil. It would be a shame for your inability to promote to whittle down and away at your motivation to serve your country.
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  #88  
Old 01-08-2018, 11:27 AM
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Also, some of the MOS structures were bad enough that it was years before the cutting scores opened up from closed. When they did, it was only for one month to let one individual promote. Then they closed off the cutting scores again. A good resource for checking this would be through the cutting scores listed on manpower.usmc.mil. It would be a shame for your inability to promote to whittle down and away at your motivation to serve your country.
Similar to the Army.

From where you sit (without access to promotion data) A good indicator of which scores are easy to promote are those MOS's with bonuses have easier promotion thresholds than those without bonuses.
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  #89  
Old 01-14-2018, 11:02 PM
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Exclamation Short answer: donít do it.

I wouldnít.

Served 8 years in the military, best days of my life.

But I was single, and times were very different back then (1980ís).

With a wife & small children Iíd never do it, and certainly not in these times. We live in a very unstable era, one in which the social order is breaking down, and the State itself is losing legitimacy. Ordinary life is giving way to chaos and disorder. Risk is increasing.

Iíd advise to keep loved ones, close, and never leave them. Just too dangerous now, both at home and abroad.

Just my .02 cents, FWIW.
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