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Survival and Preparations Long and short term survival and 'prepping'. |
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#1
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Kids with ex-spouses
How does one deal with an ex-spouse in a survival situation. Lets say I prepped enough from me and my girls. How can I leave their mother and her spouse to fend for themselves? I could do it very easily, don't get me wrong, but I have to consider the girl. How could I explain that Im going to let their mother starve/freeze die etc. What would you do?
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The fox knows many things, but the hedgehog knows one big thing |
#2
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That's a tough one. Saying "I let her starve" would never work. It would have to be something like
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#3
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I would prep additional supplies for them. Imagine if things go down and your girls are with your ex. If your ex gets your girls to you, than in my opinion you couldn't turn them away . God forbid anything happen to you, somebody would have to take care of your girls.
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#4
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That is still the parent of your child. If you refuse to help, your children will most likely never forgive you.
There are times in life you do things you find distasteful.
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People don't like to be meddled with. We tell them what to do, what to think, don't run, don't walk. We're in their homes and in their heads and we haven't the right. We're meddlesome. --River Tam |
#6
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Luckily I'm on the flip side of that; my teenaged step-son already knows there is no room for his "other family" here. I have encouraged him to share his knowledge with them & the skills that I have taught him, & they could be working towards prepareing themselves just as I am. Also his dad is enough of a man that I expect he would have too much pride to beg help from me or live subservient to me in my home.
Your situation is diffent & more difficult, but you mentioned a spouse, so you could approach it by saying "if they come to me and ask to be taken in I couldn't turn them away, but they would have to live by my rules & follow my orders" - with those conditions they would likely find somewhere else to go. |
#8
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I said in my wedding vows to my wife"i will protect you from anything in this world, except from zombies, then your on your own". If **** gets hostile would you want your loves ones to suffer threw that kind ofexistence ior help them go quick and make life hell for the other team for as long as you can? Granted we don't have kids.
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#9
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Besides in the movies the exes always get back together in difficult times while trying to save or protect their children. What I think would make it difficult is if you or she has a new partner. A few random things that could sway the argument for me. 1) Is she single? 2) Is she hot? 3) Does she have special skills that would help in a SHTF event? for example: -can she make an awesome sandwich (can she cook)? -is she a doctor? -can she shoot a gun, well? 4) What were the circumstances for you divorce/break-up? For example: -did she try to kill you? -is she mentally insane?
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#10
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Seriously though, Im not currently prepping for long term but I consider it sometimes and this keeps coming to mind. Thanks for chiming in all.
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The fox knows many things, but the hedgehog knows one big thing |
#12
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You have a child together, so while you have went your separate ways, you still share the parenting of your child. I say let them in, its not an issue of subservience unless you plan on being a dictator within your household. While you two arent on the same level anymore, you can always find work for her, be it cooking, security shifts, or any multitude of things that will pop up.
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#13
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She and her SO should be welcome to stay with you as long as they bring a minimum of one years worth of food, water, medicine, labor, equipment, supplies, survival knowledge and hands on practise, etc. Otherwise, you just have to explain to your children that, like any other non prepper, she made a conscious decision not to be prepared and she is now going to live (or not) with the choices she made years ago. You could even use this example when talking to your girls about sex, drugs, shoplifting, drinking, etc.
My wife (soon to be "ex") wouldn't be able to contribute much but, her son, my stepson, would be welcome since, he is young, strong, able to help, knows how to reload, manufacture firearms, familiar with different types of defensive weapons and isn't a terrible shot since he can semi constantly hit clay pigeons on 1000 yards away.
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NRA Certified Pistol, Rifle, Shotgun and Metallic Cartridge Reloading Instructor California DOJ Certified Fingerprint Roller Ventura County approved CCW Instructor Utah CCW Instructor Offering low cost multi state CCW, private basic shooting and reloading classes for calgunners. CCW SAFE MEMBERSHIPS HERE KM6WLV Last edited by CSACANNONEER; 03-17-2014 at 9:06 AM.. |
#15
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Mother of your child. Yes, she is bat poop crazy and otherwise useless. But that does not matter.
Start stocking extra grub etc. and be grateful her new SO has to deal with most of her crazy.
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^^ Said by some lunatic on the internet |
#16
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The ex is now the new boyfriends or hubbies responsibility.
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California's politicians and unionized government employees are a crime gang that makes the Mexican drug cartels look like a Girl Scout Troop in comparison. |
#18
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Agreed
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#19
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Maybe try feeling her new hubby out on the subject before deciding what to do. More importantly though, how does your daughter feel about mom and stepdad? If she agrees mom is batp00pccrazy she might not want them around either and problem solved.
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#20
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Ex wife is batpoopcrazy? Wow you guys made some good choices in wives. Maybe your prepping decisions will be much better.
I know, I know, she changed after you got married right. I'm thinking she hated guns long before you married her.
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"The democracy will cease to exist when you take away from those who are willing to work and give to those who would not." "My reading of history convinces me that most bad government results from too much government." "No freeman shall be debarred the use of arms" -- Thomas Jefferson |
#21
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If she's nuts and anti-gun I'd say it depends on how much S actually HTF. If it's mild, help out. If it is bad, don't bother traveling to get people, phones would be down anyway.
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#22
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Now I know this is going to sound crazy to such a grounded person, but young people can make really bad decisions.
__________________
The fox knows many things, but the hedgehog knows one big thing |
#23
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The problem arises when SHTF, and the ex, the new stepdad, and your kid, all show up at your doorstep, because they were the ones with custody that week, and they say, "We heard you had preps, so we came to your place!" If your kid is with them, do you turn them away, or accept the whole group, even if all 3 are going to essentially going to be a burden? Taking care of your kid is natural, but having to babysit two anti-gun, unprepared idiots, isn't the best situation to deal with...
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#26
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How about us being better parents and raise our own kids to make sound decisions. Better yet, have such a great relationship with our kids they actually listen and respect our advise. How about if you get divorced and kids are involved, you do not remarry until the kids turn 18. How about putting our children above ourselves. The fact that the OP asked the question in the first place saddens me.
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"The democracy will cease to exist when you take away from those who are willing to work and give to those who would not." "My reading of history convinces me that most bad government results from too much government." "No freeman shall be debarred the use of arms" -- Thomas Jefferson |
#27
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#28
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The fox knows many things, but the hedgehog knows one big thing |
#29
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What the flying poopsicles are you talking about? If you have an infant you are saying to wait almost 18 years to move on with your life? What angle are you working? I don't understand what values you're trying to share here.
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#30
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I used to ponder this many years ago. My thinking is I would not prepare for her, per se, but if my ex and her hubby showed up, for the sake of my children, I could not turn her away. Her hubby, that's a different story. After all the evil she did me for many years, for the sake of my children, I could do her no harm. However, I am not responsible for her upkeep either.
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Former Front Sight Commander Member NRA Benefactor Life Member www.nra.org CRPA Life Member www.crpa.org NRA Instructor: Pistol, Personal Protection in the Home, Range Safety Officer |
#34
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All my kids are over the magic age of 18. All of them had maps and keys to the "place" in the hills. All have been told they are welcome, all have been told their mother and her hubby(if he is still alive at that point, which is doubtful) are not welcome.
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#35
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Tomorrows headlines:
"Man kicks ex to curb when SHTF, saves his children!" And rightly so...
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Sorry, not sorry. 🎺 Dear autocorrect, I'm really getting tired of your shirt! |
#36
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How many divorced couples with kids truly understand what the children are going through. Kids bouncing around from Moms to Dads house, Dad or Mom not involved in their lives, visitation issues, using children as bargaining chips etc, etc. High horse? Not even close, I've been there, I've screwed up as well. I'm just trying to get some of you younger guys to think about your actions before you screw up like I did. There is an active thread here discussing an air soft gun being used to stop a potential crime. The thread started with the OP telling his story. The thread turned into flaming the OP for putting his wife into a bad situation. In other words, his bad decision created the bad situation.
__________________
"The democracy will cease to exist when you take away from those who are willing to work and give to those who would not." "My reading of history convinces me that most bad government results from too much government." "No freeman shall be debarred the use of arms" -- Thomas Jefferson |
#37
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#38
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I'll offer a flip side to not getting divorced and hanging in there for the kids and this will give you a better insight to me. BTW I divorced about 10 years ago, have not dated since, and spend every minute I can with my girls. A girls self esteem is greatly affected by her relationship with her father. I spent years being told I was worthless and not a man, while working 70 hours a week and providing a 3 bedroom home 2 cars etc. Nothing I did was right or good enough. How would this effect my girls self esteem? My choice was divorce, take the high road in all communications and love my girls. They want to live with me know because of it. So now that I have brought my own thread off topic. I think I should send them home with their own BOB bags, which is something I have done yet either? Seems like a no brainer right?
__________________
The fox knows many things, but the hedgehog knows one big thing |
#39
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There you go. It sounds like you are doing the right thing, great to here it.
Sometimes we do need a little preaching to put us back on track. I'm sure you can agree that your first marriage as well as mine, was a mistake. Funny thing how our brains don't begin to think logically until we are much older, usually long past the time we blew it. If one young man can read this and get something positive out of it, great. My own son who is now 27 suffered plenty because of my stupid decisions. We are just now beginning to have the relationship we've both yearned for.
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"The democracy will cease to exist when you take away from those who are willing to work and give to those who would not." "My reading of history convinces me that most bad government results from too much government." "No freeman shall be debarred the use of arms" -- Thomas Jefferson |
#40
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Regardless of this you should definitely have a plan for getting to your kids, or getting your kids to you if possible (obviously if you live in Oxnard & they live in Chicago this is going to be problematic). |
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