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Calgunners in Service This forum is a place for our active duty and deployed members to share, request and have a bit of home where ever they are.

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  #1  
Old 06-28-2017, 3:19 PM
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Default My bad interaction but I feel i handled it well

Warning- this is a bit of a rant, but I feel like I need to write it down or something. Long story is that I was looking for parking in downtown San Diego this morning for work, and chose a metered space. The meter was only for 2 hours, and I knew the meeting I was going into would be 4 hours, so I used my handicap placard (which I rarely use, maybe 1 time a month because I don't always feel handicapped and would like to save those spaces for those with more serious disabilities).
Anyways, as I'm exiting my car, another car looking for parking pulls up right next to my car, rolled down their passenger side window, and the driver (a maybe mid 30's white female) starts yelling at me. "You're not disabled, you're abusing the handicapped parking because you're too cheap to put money in the meter, how much did you have to pay you're doctor to say you needed the placard, better yet you probably stole it you piece of *****".

Once she was done I figured she would speed off, but she still sat there for what I assumed was my response. I calmly told her with very minimal swear words that I am a combat veteran of 2 tours, I served my country proudly as a Hospital Corpsman in the United States Navy, and that I am using my handicap placard due to injuries (and complications of a FUBAR'd navy medicine surgery) sustained while overseas. Just because you can't see my disability does not mean that it doesn't exist.

This was the first time I ever played my "I'm a veteran" card (other than military discounts of course), and the reaction from the lady was not what I expected. She said "you're full of *****, there's actual vets out there with injuries, go fudge yourself you fudging idiot" then she sped off.

I was seeing red, i was tempted to let the PTSD/anger/anxiety take over, get in my car, chase her down, run her off the road, ziptie her hands behind her back, and shove my challenge coin down her throat. I didn't care that she didn't believe I was handicapped, but it offended me so deeply that she said I was lying about my service. A greenside 8404 Corpsman was my dream job since I was 13 and the fact that I can't do it anymore today still eats slowly away at my soul.

I was literally back in my car pulling down my sun shade off the windshield to chase her when I saw the pictures of my wife and daughter I keep pinned in my sun visor. The anger didn't melt away, but felt a lot more manageable. I remembered all the times that my wife told me that she's sorry I'm not in the service anymore because of how much it hurt me to leave it, but she's glad that I can be at home every night and be a father to our child. I remembered putting my daughter in marpat desert patterned onesies and secretly hoping that one day she might join the military with the understanding that some things are worth losing your life for, some things are worth defending to the last.

I DIDN'T CRY, but my eyes were sweating sitting in my car for a good half-hour. I felt ashamed that I had the initial reaction that I did, angry at the lady and myself, ashamed of myself for not looking like a veteran (I still don't know how to explain this), hating myself for not controlling my emotions.

Thanks everyone who read this whole thing. I'm not looking for sympathy, just understanding from other vets. Also if anyone sees a 250+ lb redheaded white lady with glasses getting into a silver Toyota Venza in downtown SD, please pop her tires or key her car or something. I'm still mad at her.

Last edited by checkmate; 06-28-2017 at 4:17 PM..
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  #2  
Old 06-28-2017, 3:27 PM
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Got your 6, checkmate.
Mostly hatred expressed toward all veterans returning home from Vietnam.
You proved your character when you decided not to retaliate. ...
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  #3  
Old 06-28-2017, 3:30 PM
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Good for you on several points:

I'm impressed by your "I only use it when I need it" attitude. That is kind of the way I am. After a surgery I had I could have gotten a placard but didn't because it was good for me to walk. Just a temporary thing for me and I am not knocking anyone that needs a handicapped spot all the time.

The fact that you controlled yourself and behaved like a gentleman as you explained it. At least it sounds like you did from your description!

That you did not chase her down.

And last, certainly not least, for your service to our country.
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Old 06-28-2017, 4:05 PM
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I'm not a veteran & I'm not disabled, but I've encountered similar morons while parking. I drive a disabled friend with Cerebral Palsy.

Frequently, I'll park in a handicap space with my friend & while I'm getting her canes or wheelchair out of my trunk, some moron will say "Mr, you're stealing a handicapped space from someone who needs it." They're so anxious to put someone down, they don't even notice my passenger. I usually ignore them until they watch me get the wheelchair out of my trunk. Sometimes they'll have a stupid look on their face & they'll drive away. If I'm not in a good mood, I'll answer something like "Your mouth works...too bad your brain doesn't." That would be a perfect response to the POS you encountered. As you know, "Chasing her down & confronting her" would be a very bad move on your part; your family doesn't need the expense of arrest, bail, attorney fees, etc.

Parking is a headache & people are so stressed, they'll look for any opportunity to be jerks.
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Old 06-28-2017, 4:13 PM
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You have every right to be blood red angry, but you did a good job calming yourself down.

Let it go, not worth the stress.

.
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  #6  
Old 06-28-2017, 7:30 PM
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Must have happened in SD. Clearly some of the worst drivers ESP in parking lots. They seem to think no traffic rules apply.


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Old 06-29-2017, 1:23 PM
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Nope. No kudos for calming down. You let a mouthy turd get under your skin and make you overreact - not cool.

Kudos for only using teh handi-placard when you need it, though I am not sure a long meeting really qualifies.

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  #8  
Old 06-29-2017, 5:20 PM
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I got your back Devil Doc.
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  #9  
Old 06-29-2017, 6:51 PM
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Former veteran but not handicapped because of my service, (just old age). If there isn't any handicap parking available I'll just find a regular space.

Hats off too you OP for the way you handled it!
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Old 06-29-2017, 10:22 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by checkmate View Post
Warning- this is a bit of a rant, but I feel like I need to write it down or something. Long story is that I was looking for parking in downtown San Diego this morning for work, and chose a metered space. The meter was only for 2 hours, and I knew the meeting I was going into would be 4 hours, so I used my handicap placard (which I rarely use, maybe 1 time a month because I don't always feel handicapped and would like to save those spaces for those with more serious disabilities).
Anyways, as I'm exiting my car, another car looking for parking pulls up right next to my car, rolled down their passenger side window, and the driver (a maybe mid 30's white female) starts yelling at me. "You're not disabled, you're abusing the handicapped parking because you're too cheap to put money in the meter, how much did you have to pay you're doctor to say you needed the placard, better yet you probably stole it you piece of *****".

Once she was done I figured she would speed off, but she still sat there for what I assumed was my response. I calmly told her with very minimal swear words that I am a combat veteran of 2 tours, I served my country proudly as a Hospital Corpsman in the United States Navy, and that I am using my handicap placard due to injuries (and complications of a FUBAR'd navy medicine surgery) sustained while overseas. Just because you can't see my disability does not mean that it doesn't exist.

This was the first time I ever played my "I'm a veteran" card (other than military discounts of course), and the reaction from the lady was not what I expected. She said "you're full of *****, there's actual vets out there with injuries, go fudge yourself you fudging idiot" then she sped off.

I was seeing red, i was tempted to let the PTSD/anger/anxiety take over, get in my car, chase her down, run her off the road, ziptie her hands behind her back, and shove my challenge coin down her throat. I didn't care that she didn't believe I was handicapped, but it offended me so deeply that she said I was lying about my service. A greenside 8404 Corpsman was my dream job since I was 13 and the fact that I can't do it anymore today still eats slowly away at my soul.

I was literally back in my car pulling down my sun shade off the windshield to chase her when I saw the pictures of my wife and daughter I keep pinned in my sun visor. The anger didn't melt away, but felt a lot more manageable. I remembered all the times that my wife told me that she's sorry I'm not in the service anymore because of how much it hurt me to leave it, but she's glad that I can be at home every night and be a father to our child. I remembered putting my daughter in marpat desert patterned onesies and secretly hoping that one day she might join the military with the understanding that some things are worth losing your life for, some things are worth defending to the last.

I DIDN'T CRY, but my eyes were sweating sitting in my car for a good half-hour. I felt ashamed that I had the initial reaction that I did, angry at the lady and myself, ashamed of myself for not looking like a veteran (I still don't know how to explain this), hating myself for not controlling my emotions.

Thanks everyone who read this whole thing. I'm not looking for sympathy, just understanding from other vets. Also if anyone sees a 250+ lb redheaded white lady with glasses getting into a silver Toyota Venza in downtown SD, please pop her tires or key her car or something. I'm still mad at her.
What's crazy is if this 30 year old girl pulled this in Maine the guy would have beaten the crap out of her after pulling her out of the car. These stupid uneducated women under 40 are so lucky to live in California because in other smaller states the men beat the crap out of the women and the law sides with the guy which is crazy but it happens and I have seen it. Women are treated like trash in these states and they really need to watch their mouths because this can happen in California.

I can't even count how many times men beat women for mouthing off in Maine. It happens daily. Two of my exgfs got run over and hit with bats and the Police didn't even hold them a week. Slap on the wrist and they were right back out doing it again. California has it good with domestic laws here. Goto Maine and it's an entirely different way of life. It was hard for me to accept but I did and moved 3000 miles away.

You did the right thing.
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Last edited by Endless; 06-30-2017 at 4:55 AM..
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  #11  
Old 06-30-2017, 5:46 AM
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I got your back Devil Doc.
We all do. Always.
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  #12  
Old 06-30-2017, 6:01 AM
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You seem like a good dude, glad you took the high road. Just remember, they're just words and they can only upset you if you let them. No need to ever stoop down to the level of someone that feels the need to stick their nose into everything and spew verbal diarrhea at everyone.
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Old 06-30-2017, 7:53 AM
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People like that are only alive because it's illegal to kill them, plain and simple. Good on you OP for keeping the anger in check.
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Old 06-30-2017, 8:16 AM
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Honor is a man's gift to himself, OP.

The rude, vulgar, loud b*tch surrendered her honor by needlessly going off on you like that, you kept yours intact by not responding to her in kind.

Don't lose any more sleep over her, she's not worth it.
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Old 06-30-2017, 8:21 AM
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first off thank you for your service, that's what that liberal B should of said.

Second she is likely a Hillary tail pipe sniffer, so brain damage is inevitable !
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Old 06-30-2017, 8:32 AM
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Just let it go, brother. It's not worth working yourself over. Think of it this way: you still live in the best country in the world right now.
After WWII was over, the red army had millions of injured, handicapped and amputee soldiers returning home. What they found home was the commies didn't like them mingle and roam around big cities. So stalin sent every amputee, injured with permanent disability soldier to siberia small towns. Away from big cities and eyes of new generation. Many of those soldiers died knowing their country did not appreciate the sacrifice.
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Old 06-30-2017, 8:47 AM
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Foulmouthed snowflakes have opinions based only on their feelings and not on the facts.

Stay cool and thanks for your service...

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Old 06-30-2017, 11:30 PM
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Not worth it brother- you did good chilling out, when you get angry you lose control..

And then they- the person who made you angry (right or wrong) has control.

Maintain- its not worth it- to damn often- if you are right, you can end up wrong- when you contend with a idiot.

The chitbirds are not worth it, you are- you have been there- and served our Republic.

Two centavos for you...

Last edited by Ugly Hombre; 06-30-2017 at 11:34 PM..
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Old 07-01-2017, 2:04 AM
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.
I was literally back in my car pulling down my sun shade off the windshield to chase her
Epic. But don't do it.
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Old 07-01-2017, 10:40 AM
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OP, my hats off to you good sir!

I have empathy for you and your plight, for you not to be able to do what you love to do because you did your job faithfully, and have some jack wagon doubt and castigate you without knowing anything about you? Just know you did the right thing even though you wanted to do the opposite. Your wife and kid are lucky to have you, they are more important than any self centered b****.

There are 10's of millions who are thankful for those who serve as you have. Celebrate the 4th, throw back a few beers knowing the outstanding job you have done, enjoy the time with the wife and kids and know life is good.

Thank you for your service.
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Old 07-01-2017, 11:25 AM
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The good news is that her mouth will eventually get her killed.


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Old 07-01-2017, 12:45 PM
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Karma.....just think of that and smile sir.......
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Old 07-01-2017, 10:02 PM
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I'd have asked her how many dicks have been in her mouth.
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Old 07-06-2017, 11:29 AM
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I'd have asked her how many dicks have been in her mouth.
Being how it's San Diego, she's probably had more SEAL meat in her than a killer whale. . . .
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Old 07-06-2017, 11:40 AM
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Next time, just blow her a kiss and tell her to have a nice day. You don't owe her an explanation or a response of any kind so, just be pleasant and thank her for her concern.
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Old 07-06-2017, 12:38 PM
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We need designated, reserved parking for veterans. Said parking should be closer to an entrance than handicapped parking.

Hats off to OP. Thank you for your service.

My son is a DAV.
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Old 07-06-2017, 12:52 PM
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I smile and wave whenever a stranger gets pissed off at me. It always gets the best reactions.

Really though, nothing angers someone who is flipping you off more than smiling and waving at them, realizing that not only are you completely disregarding their anger, but that you actually find it hysterical. They will leave even more infuriated, and you will continue to have a pleasant morning. Win/win
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Old 07-06-2017, 1:01 PM
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So that's what those challenge coins are for!

I was wondering about that.




Joking aside, you remained cool when dealing with an obvious Butthead and that means you did the right thing.

Thank you for your service to our country, even if it's partially occupied by jerks like that one.
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Old 07-06-2017, 2:29 PM
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I relate to what you said about not being able to be in the service any more. For what its worth, I came to the realization that your family is your mission now. I have 2 daughters and my oldest (9) gets very anxious and upset if I even mention going away for 2 weeks to go home to help my dad. You served your country, now serve as a Father, and Husband.

Anyways good job getting your self back under control. When faced with complete idiocy and undeserved anger I always 'kill them with kindness.' Like earlier mentioned a smile and a wave will beat a middle finger and a honking horn anyday of the week and twice on Sunday.
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Old 07-06-2017, 4:00 PM
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thanks for all the feedback guys. I wasn't looking for sympathy, just looking to vent, but the responses received proved pretty therapeutic. I was hesitant to post this at all because the calguns community (especially in OT) can be pretty blunt and insensitive. Thanks guys, it means a lot that there's understanding here.
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Old 07-06-2017, 4:13 PM
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Blow it off.

She was having a bad day.

I had a similar scene. I was pissed and laid down blocking the lady in so she could not leave the parking lot. A few minutes later my girl and her handicapped wheelchair bound mother came out of the Best Buy. If looks could kill. The look I gave that stuck up ***** would have killed her.
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Old 07-20-2017, 1:41 PM
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thanks for all the feedback guys. I wasn't looking for sympathy, just looking to vent, but the responses received proved pretty therapeutic. I was hesitant to post this at all because the calguns community (especially in OT) can be pretty blunt and insensitive. Thanks guys, it means a lot that there's understanding here.
Man, that lady doesn't deserve the very freedom you fought to maintain for all of us. Screw her! She doesn't belong here in the USA. Let's send HER over to a conflict zone to see how long she lasts...

Turby
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Old 07-20-2017, 1:49 PM
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First things first THANK YOU & ALL THOSE WHO SERVED FOR OUR FREEDOM. You handled the situation extremely well.
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Old 07-25-2017, 3:45 PM
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Warning- this is a bit of a rant, but I feel like I need to write it down or something. Long story is that I was looking for parking in downtown San Diego this morning for work, and chose a metered space. The meter was only for 2 hours, and I knew the meeting I was going into would be 4 hours, so I used my handicap placard (which I rarely use, maybe 1 time a month because I don't always feel handicapped and would like to save those spaces for those with more serious disabilities).
Anyways, as I'm exiting my car, another car looking for parking pulls up right next to my car, rolled down their passenger side window, and the driver (a maybe mid 30's white female) starts yelling at me. "You're not disabled, you're abusing the handicapped parking because you're too cheap to put money in the meter, how much did you have to pay you're doctor to say you needed the placard, better yet you probably stole it you piece of *****".

Once she was done I figured she would speed off, but she still sat there for what I assumed was my response. I calmly told her with very minimal swear words that I am a combat veteran of 2 tours, I served my country proudly as a Hospital Corpsman in the United States Navy, and that I am using my handicap placard due to injuries (and complications of a FUBAR'd navy medicine surgery) sustained while overseas. Just because you can't see my disability does not mean that it doesn't exist.

This was the first time I ever played my "I'm a veteran" card (other than military discounts of course), and the reaction from the lady was not what I expected. She said "you're full of *****, there's actual vets out there with injuries, go fudge yourself you fudging idiot" then she sped off.

I was seeing red, i was tempted to let the PTSD/anger/anxiety take over, get in my car, chase her down, run her off the road, ziptie her hands behind her back, and shove my challenge coin down her throat. I didn't care that she didn't believe I was handicapped, but it offended me so deeply that she said I was lying about my service. A greenside 8404 Corpsman was my dream job since I was 13 and the fact that I can't do it anymore today still eats slowly away at my soul.

I was literally back in my car pulling down my sun shade off the windshield to chase her when I saw the pictures of my wife and daughter I keep pinned in my sun visor. The anger didn't melt away, but felt a lot more manageable. I remembered all the times that my wife told me that she's sorry I'm not in the service anymore because of how much it hurt me to leave it, but she's glad that I can be at home every night and be a father to our child. I remembered putting my daughter in marpat desert patterned onesies and secretly hoping that one day she might join the military with the understanding that some things are worth losing your life for, some things are worth defending to the last.

I DIDN'T CRY, but my eyes were sweating sitting in my car for a good half-hour. I felt ashamed that I had the initial reaction that I did, angry at the lady and myself, ashamed of myself for not looking like a veteran (I still don't know how to explain this), hating myself for not controlling my emotions.

Thanks everyone who read this whole thing. I'm not looking for sympathy, just understanding from other vets. Also if anyone sees a 250+ lb redheaded white lady with glasses getting into a silver Toyota Venza in downtown SD, please pop her tires or key her car or something. I'm still mad at her.
Doc, first of all, thank you for your service to our fine country. Second thank you for being a corpsman. I understand your anger. I once had a woman call me a baby killer in my own kitchen.

At the end of the day you know who you are, and you know what you have done. As nice as it would be for everyone to understand, the fact that so many do not is what makes those who do so special. Try not to let that entitled B**** take up more room in your head than she deserves.

Semper Fi Doc.
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  #35  
Old 07-25-2017, 3:51 PM
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Originally Posted by Dano3467 View Post
first off thank you for your service, that's what that liberal B should of said.

Second she is likely a Hillary tail pipe sniffer, so brain damage is inevitable !
AMEN!!! and yes thank you for your service
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  #36  
Old 08-19-2017, 2:11 PM
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What a ****. California drivers. I love you doc.
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  #37  
Old 08-20-2017, 3:19 PM
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250 LB Red head....she is already in Hell....
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Old 08-21-2017, 1:27 PM
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Originally Posted by Win231 View Post
I'm not a veteran & I'm not disabled, but I've encountered similar morons while parking. I drive a disabled friend with Cerebral Palsy.

Frequently, I'll park in a handicap space with my friend & while I'm getting her canes or wheelchair out of my trunk, some moron will say "Mr, you're stealing a handicapped space from someone who needs it." They're so anxious to put someone down, they don't even notice my passenger. I usually ignore them until they watch me get the wheelchair out of my trunk. Sometimes they'll have a stupid look on their face & they'll drive away. If I'm not in a good mood, I'll answer something like "Your mouth works...too bad your brain doesn't." ...
Same happened to me as I was getting my 94 yro mom's wheel chair out of the back...the jerk... After the highly red faced sob left I thought of all kinds of come backs.
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  #39  
Old 08-22-2017, 8:56 AM
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Unfortunately this happens all the time. In San Diego, with its high concentration of injured Vets, this type of reaction is out of line. A few bad apples ruin a well thought out accommodation for people with mobility issues. )However there is one city that appears to encourage the mis-use of the handi-cap placards, and you guessed it, San Francisco that has issued more handicapped placards than the entire city of NYC.)
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Old 08-29-2017, 9:36 PM
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Don't do it, you might lose your gun rights!
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