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Ladies Forum A place for our female Calgunners to discuss, share and interact without the 'excess attention' sometimes found in online forums.

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  #1  
Old 09-24-2012, 11:28 PM
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Default My gf, her mom and I have a conversation about men buying women guns...

Laura is a dear friend of mine from at least 10yrs back. She is just now getting in to gun ownership even though she has been around them all her life. Her mom tells her "try them on for size, don't let Brian(her husband) buy you what he wants to buy you" I echoed that sentiment giving her my bra analogy which she and her mom and our other gf's totally understood. Today she texts me "B bought me a gun. I told him I was going to the range this weekend to try out different guns and he went and bought me what HE thinks I should shoot. What would you do to Bill if he did that?"

My response? "Tell him I hope he enjoys HIS new gun and go on out and go try guns and buy what I want to buy" She texts back "I love you, it's too bad we're not lesbians" LMAO! I love this woman, she is so like me and my younger son sees this text and says "It's ok if you're a lesbian mom" LMAO Now I am not sure who I love more.
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Old 09-25-2012, 5:43 AM
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Originally Posted by Bugguts View Post
Today she texts me "B bought me a gun. I told him I was going to the range this weekend to try out different guns and he went and bought me what HE thinks I should shoot.
Your friend should take care to shoot her new gun without "Bill" around.From the sound of things he'll like being out-shot by his woman even less.
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  #3  
Old 09-25-2012, 7:36 AM
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good point, Silver.

you gave the right response in both instances, Bug.

yep, tell him to enjoy his new toy and buy her own.
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  #4  
Old 09-25-2012, 7:51 AM
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Isn't 'buying the wife a gun' a thinly disguised fiction husbands/boyfriends use?

I think they do it to
  1. get the new gun they want,
  2. get her to the range to shoot with,
  3. get her to the range so she can say she doesn't like it,
  4. get the new gun they want and lots of range time without static or
  5. a sincere belief that they just know what's best.
Why do men do this?

Do they think they're being helpful? Do they later find that all they're doing is making their ladies mad and wasting money? With all the talk here about how to selected a new or first gun, the message is pretty clear: try before you buy.

Is your friend's husband unhappy that she talked it over with you instead of just taking his word for it? Your friend is on the right track to continue to test and select her own gun.

I have dear friends of many years too, and the relationships run very deep. I was shooting trap every Sunday with my friend Richard, and it was seven weeks before I found out his other shooting buddies thought I was his wife! "Nope, dodged that bullet" I said, and they cracked up.
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  #5  
Old 09-25-2012, 8:35 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BonnieB View Post
Isn't 'buying the wife a gun' a thinly disguised fiction husbands/boyfriends use?

I think they do it to
  1. get the new gun they want,
  2. get her to the range to shoot with,
  3. get her to the range so she can say she doesn't like it,
  4. get the new gun they want and lots of range time without static or
  5. a sincere belief that they just know what's best.
Why do men do this?

Do they think they're being helpful? Do they later find that all they're doing is making their ladies mad and wasting money?
Before I wear out my welcome here, ill answer your question with two words:
"What If".

I am a biracial military vet who lifts and works out weekly. Yet I carry a gun concealed. Why? Because if the bad guy has a gun and I don't, im toast.

That is the philosophical foundation for why we carry, and is also why men go to absurd means to ensure their women be armed.If its unwise for military vets like me to walk about unarmed, then what of the young woman with a fraction of the strength? In my last relationship, every news article about a young woman getting raped or shot brought up an uncomfortable truth.WHAT IF my girl ran into a scumbag and she's unarmed? My last gf tolerated guns for my sake, but candidly speaking she hated them. It didn't change the fact that if she encountered a scumbag and I wasn't around, she'd be another statistic-and its a hard cross to bear knowing that there are Evil People in the world, and you can't protect her 24/7.

That's a bitter pill to accept for a man.Like a woman with a sick child, the concept of an unprotected mate is like a splinter in the ethical man's mind. Until the woman's protected a man can feel like he's failing in his responsibility to her.

Thus, rest assured that a man buying his woman a gun may seem to be macho bluster, but at the core of things he just wants his woman to come home safe and unharmed from a hostile and dangerous world. Of course, there is a right and a wrong way to do things-and save for this forum, there are few places for a man to discover what the right way is with regard to properly arming his mate.
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The more prohibitions you have, the less virtuous people will be.
The more subsidies you have, the less self reliant people will be.
-Lao-Tzu, Tau Te Ching. 479 BCE

The 1911 may have been in wars for 100 years, but Masetro Bartolomeo Beretta was arming the world 400 years before John Browning was ever a wet dream.

Last edited by SilverTauron; 09-25-2012 at 8:41 AM..
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  #6  
Old 09-25-2012, 8:47 AM
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Silver, i think there are many men like you who just want their SO to be safe.

but i also think there are a lot of men that fit Bonnie's description as well. for so men its a power trip but not in a healthy "i want you to be safe and powerful love of my life way" but in a "i know best and want you to do it my way and any other way is wrong" type of mentality.

Silver, i don't think you ever could wear out your welcome here! you provide valuble insight and info w/o having a "dude with 'tude" presentation.

i like the way you think and i also sense that while you present the info to a GF, you also don't force it on her.

again, your support for this forum is appreciated!
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"Her hands, her comfort, her confidence, her choice.", Mr K re buying a gun for a woman.

Gun Control:
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  #7  
Old 09-25-2012, 9:00 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SilverTauron View Post
Your friend should take care to shoot her new gun without "Bill" around.From the sound of things he'll like being out-shot by his woman even less.
B is her husband, Bill is mine. Bill knows better than to try that. LOL

It's really odd because he was all about "We're gonna try out guns, we'll each buy one and take courses" and the he buys her one. Not really sure what is going on there because he was agreeing that they should buy what they liked and then did that. Don't know.

Last edited by Bugguts; 09-25-2012 at 9:04 AM..
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  #8  
Old 09-25-2012, 9:49 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SilverTauron View Post
Before I wear out my welcome here, ill answer your question with two words:
"What If".

I am a biracial military vet who lifts and works out weekly. Yet I carry a gun concealed. Why? Because if the bad guy has a gun and I don't, im toast.

That is the philosophical foundation for why we carry, and is also why men go to absurd means to ensure their women be armed.If its unwise for military vets like me to walk about unarmed, then what of the young woman with a fraction of the strength? In my last relationship, every news article about a young woman getting raped or shot brought up an uncomfortable truth.WHAT IF my girl ran into a scumbag and she's unarmed? My last gf tolerated guns for my sake, but candidly speaking she hated them. It didn't change the fact that if she encountered a scumbag and I wasn't around, she'd be another statistic-and its a hard cross to bear knowing that there are Evil People in the world, and you can't protect her 24/7.

That's a bitter pill to accept for a man.Like a woman with a sick child, the concept of an unprotected mate is like a splinter in the ethical man's mind. Until the woman's protected a man can feel like he's failing in his responsibility to her.

Thus, rest assured that a man buying his woman a gun may seem to be macho bluster, but at the core of things he just wants his woman to come home safe and unharmed from a hostile and dangerous world. Of course, there is a right and a wrong way to do things-and save for this forum, there are few places for a man to discover what the right way is with regard to properly arming his mate.


Very well said.

Some men who buy guns for their SO do it without thinking, assuming what they like is what the SO will like.

Others use it as an excuse to get themselves a new gun
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  #9  
Old 09-25-2012, 10:02 AM
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Well, unfortunately, some of us guys just have the attitude that they know best about "guy stuff".

Sometimes it's ignorance and sometime just chauvinistic. In all fairness, a few women still have that attitude also.

Oddly enough, this is equally spread across all generations.
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Old 09-25-2012, 10:20 AM
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Originally Posted by movie zombie View Post
Silver, i think there are many men like you who just want their SO to be safe.
DH feels this way, however, never at any point did he ever attempt to choose a gun for me. (He did have guns that he insisted that I try) If anything, he was the opposite and kept repeating, "It's entirely your choice" when I asked for advice.
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  #11  
Old 09-25-2012, 1:33 PM
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My wife just recently bought herself a new Glock 35, after asking a buddy (while at the range) if she could 'try it out'

This wasn't her first encounter using larger than 9mm handguns, and she instantly was drawn to the challenge of controlling her accuracy with a .40cal pistol. We spent the next few hrs discussing a new purchase, and it didn't take much for us to be on the road to our LGS to start shopping.

I was certain that the Gen3 grips would be uncomfortable for her smaller hands, however that certainty was squashed the moment I saw a huge smile erupt on her face 'round after round' while she fired away
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Old 09-25-2012, 3:00 PM
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Originally Posted by Sennasixty8 View Post
My wife just recently bought herself a new Glock 35, after asking a buddy (while at the range) if she could 'try it out'

This wasn't her first encounter using larger than 9mm handguns, and she instantly was drawn to the challenge of controlling her accuracy with a .40cal pistol. We spent the next few hrs discussing a new purchase, and it didn't take much for us to be on the road to our LGS to start shopping.

I was certain that the Gen3 grips would be uncomfortable for her smaller hands, however that certainty was squashed the moment I saw a huge smile erupt on her face 'round after round' while she fired away
^^ And that's the way it should work!!
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Old 09-25-2012, 4:56 PM
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I also think husband's/ boyfriends get overly excited when women get to thinking about buying a gun or rifle. My husband was beside himself when I started showing an interest. I think they buy "the wife" a gun thinking they really will like it, but don't think about all the things we think about. They want them smaller caliber and smaller for their small hands.

Some women have larger hands (for women), it is only their husband that thinks they need a smaller gun. I love the Glock. Not exactly small. I like shooting the .223 and 9mm, my husband would have bought me a .22. I prefer 12 gauge shotgun, everyone suggested I start with a 20.

I think their hearts are right, but they don't know us when it comes to guns.
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Old 09-26-2012, 11:09 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by savannah View Post
I also think husband's/ boyfriends get overly excited when women get to thinking about buying a gun or rifle. My husband was beside himself when I started showing an interest. I think they buy "the wife" a gun thinking they really will like it, but don't think about all the things we think about. They want them smaller caliber and smaller for their small hands.

Some women have larger hands (for women), it is only their husband that thinks they need a smaller gun. I love the Glock. Not exactly small. I like shooting the .223 and 9mm, my husband would have bought me a .22. I prefer 12 gauge shotgun, everyone suggested I start with a 20.

I think their hearts are right, but they don't know us when it comes to guns.
I think it may also depend on the gun itself, and the intended use. You mention that you prefer a 9mm and your husband would have bought you a .22. I don't know your husband or you, but the suggestion to get a .22lr isn't necessarily just because of the light recoil, being a smaller gun, and so on. For someone who already has a gun they can use defensively, why not a .22? Ammo for any gun worth carrying or using in a defensive situation is an order of magnitude more expensive than .22lr. Trigger time even on the lowly .22lr is better than no trigger time on a 9mm. For the cost of 1,000 rounds of 9mm, you can buy an entire .22lr gun and a boatload of ammo to go with it. Maybe he thought you might enjoy it? Maybe he was hoping you'd get more trigger time with cheaper ammo? Possibly an appleseed class in mind?

Of course the situation of a guy dictating that the SO should get one specific gun for any number of silly reasons does happen(my co-worker kept asking me if I thought my LCP would be a good first gun for his wife, I told him he was an idiot and should have her try a variety of sizes and calibers. From the look he gave me, I can only assume that he's going to end up getting her an LCP, whatever), but it's not always the case.

Admittedly, the only woman I've ever bought a gun for would be my Mother. I'm not married and any past GFs could have bought their own guns with their own money(that's an entirely different topic, that's not necessary to discuss here). Of the two guns that I bought her, one was a 12ga shotgun because one day at the range she said that she wanted to get one "some time in the future" and had already pointed out a specific model she was interested in. Who's gonna turn that down for a birthday present? The other happened to be a .22lr rifle, not because she can't handle something else but based off of observations I made on a previous range trip(comments here and there) and that she can buy her own ammo much cheaper than if I got her something in say... .308. Turns out she likes shooting at small dots with small bullets 100 yards away, go figure(but I already knew that).

Of course the guns she's had for years include things like a beretta 92fs that I hate shooting(I think the grip is too fat even with my XL glove size hands and I hate the slide mounted safety) and a 4" colt trooper in .357(I hate the backwards cylinder release on colts). Guns that she picked out on her own, for herself, after trying out other guns many years ago.

My point is, that not every suggestion or even gift of a small caliber/size gun has to have some silly pretext behind it along the lines of "she can't handle A, so she should have B instead". While at the same time, not every gun is really meant for defense, hunting, etc. either.

BonnieB's list of 1,3,4,5 I agree are crappy reasons. Although I don't quite get why #2 is a problem if some actual thought was put into the purchase.

Last edited by Merc1138; 09-26-2012 at 11:15 PM..
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Old 09-26-2012, 11:30 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Merc1138 View Post

BonnieB's list of 1,3,4,5 I agree are crappy reasons. Although I don't quite get why #2 is a problem if some actual thought was put into the purchase.
I never meant to imply that they were all bad reasons, just a list of possible reasons.

For my part, in addition to .40 cal, I also have a .22lr conversion kit for the same receiver, because the ammo is so much cheaper and it gives me '2 for 1'. The .22lr is good for target practice, I would never use it for home defense.

Others disagree about that, but I want to STOP a bad guy, not just sting him.
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WHAT I HAVE LEARNED SO FAR, MOSTLY THE HARD WAY
Do only safe sex. Never have sex with someone crazier than you are.
Don't marry or move in together before you're both at least 25.
Don't have children until you're married five years or at least age 30.
Put 10% of your salary into savings every month no matter how broke you are.
Don't ever screw around with the IRS.
Keep a handgun on your bedside table.
Don't smart-mouth judges, or cops who stop you on the road.
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Old 09-27-2012, 7:13 AM
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piggybacking off of Merc's first paragraph: and a .22 with lots of range time is better than any other caliber with no range time for self-defense. yes, i know, even for me a .22 is not my first choice for first defense. but given the choice between no firearm and a .22, i'd tell a friend to get the .22 every time. any caliber is useless unless there is range time!

however, i have strayed way off topic.....

i still like Bugs bra correlation: i mean, ladies, how many of the dang things do we have to try on to find one that fits right?! and then expect a man to pick one out for us?!

same with guns.
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"Her hands, her comfort, her confidence, her choice.", Mr K re buying a gun for a woman.

Gun Control:
"The theory that a woman found dead in an alley, raped and strangled with her own pantyhose, is somehow morally superior to a woman explaining to police how her attacker got that fatal bullet wound."-- as seen on a t-shirt
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Old 09-27-2012, 7:20 AM
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I bought my wife a gun... and I didn't buy it for me thinly disguised as a gift for her. We were at the range, and an older gentlemen let her try his glock 19 and she really liked it over all the other toys she got to try. So I found one, and bought it for her. I don't shoot it.

Edit: I am a little slow this morning, new post button and didn't realize ladies' forum.
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Old 09-27-2012, 7:29 AM
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em9, you bought it as a gift but she had tried it out and expressed that she liked it.
you didn't just go out and buy her a gun that she'd never shot and had never expressed an interest in.
you too did it the right way!

men can and do post in the Ladies Forum.
guys that remember that this is not OT and don't become " dues with 'tudes " are always welcome.

congrats on taking your wife to the range and observing what she liked and then making it happen.
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"Her hands, her comfort, her confidence, her choice.", Mr K re buying a gun for a woman.

Gun Control:
"The theory that a woman found dead in an alley, raped and strangled with her own pantyhose, is somehow morally superior to a woman explaining to police how her attacker got that fatal bullet wound."-- as seen on a t-shirt
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Old 09-27-2012, 7:36 AM
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Zombie is right on this post, on all counts. She generally is. Also really funny!

Welcome Red. We like grown up men here, of any age. Chip in when there's something of interest. I like that you bought your wife something that she had tried, liked and wanted her own self. I wish someone would buy me a carry gun for Christmas.... sigh...
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Do only safe sex. Never have sex with someone crazier than you are.
Don't marry or move in together before you're both at least 25.
Don't have children until you're married five years or at least age 30.
Put 10% of your salary into savings every month no matter how broke you are.
Don't ever screw around with the IRS.
Keep a handgun on your bedside table.
Don't smart-mouth judges, or cops who stop you on the road.
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Old 09-27-2012, 7:51 AM
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Originally Posted by movie zombie View Post
piggybacking off of Merc's first paragraph: and a .22 with lots of range time is better than any other caliber with no range time for self-defense.
Absolutely. We have a friend with a Walther PPK. It's her nightstand gun. She hates it and when she brought it to the range, she fired it maybe 5 times. I put a magazine through it and it jammed three times, which I understand is a trait of that gun until it's well broken in. So, she hasn't even shot it enough to break it in and if someone broke into her home....chances are it would jam on her.

I realized this weekend that I have put about 1200 rounds through my Mak since the beginning of June. I know that gun and all of it's little quirks.
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Old 09-27-2012, 1:52 PM
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I am glad I did something right, and I am glad she likes something reliable and practical. Gives me a little more peace of mind when I am away.
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Old 09-27-2012, 2:37 PM
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win-win for you both, em9.
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"Her hands, her comfort, her confidence, her choice.", Mr K re buying a gun for a woman.

Gun Control:
"The theory that a woman found dead in an alley, raped and strangled with her own pantyhose, is somehow morally superior to a woman explaining to police how her attacker got that fatal bullet wound."-- as seen on a t-shirt
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Old 09-29-2012, 2:23 PM
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Originally Posted by Merc1138 View Post
Trigger time even on the lowly .22lr is better than no trigger time on a 9mm.
I don't agree. The recoil and feel in your hands are totally different, and you need to practice with what you are going to use. I'm normally pretty good with my 9mm M&P, but not after shooting a .22 for awhile. Takes a few mags to get back into the rhythm. If you're just practicing sight alignment, fine, but the rest is just not comparable and won't improve your shooting when it counts. Better to "waste" the money on the centerfire ammo.
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Old 09-29-2012, 2:44 PM
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I don't agree. The recoil and feel in your hands are totally different, and you need to practice with what you are going to use. I'm normally pretty good with my 9mm M&P, but not after shooting a .22 for awhile. Takes a few mags to get back into the rhythm. If you're just practicing sight alignment, fine, but the rest is just not comparable and won't improve your shooting when it counts. Better to "waste" the money on the centerfire ammo.
You're right, all of that practice with sight alignment, trigger control, manipulation of controls, drawing. target acqusition, positions, breathing, etc.(some of those obviously only apply if your .22lr is similar to your centerfire) at <$20 for a box of 500 rounds is a waste

The only problem is with followup shots, and not everyone is looking to shoot defensively, and some people also use rifles.

.22lr trigger time > no centerfire trigger time. Obviously it's better to train with what you'd actually use in a defensive situation all the time, but if it came down to it I'd rather rely on someone who puts 2,000 rounds a year of .22 down range in addition to their centerfire shooting, instead of someone who goes to the range twice a year with maybe 4-5 boxes of 9mm or 5.56. Or for that matter someone who doesn't understand NPOA, or simply shooting a rifle without resting it on a bench.

Last edited by Merc1138; 09-29-2012 at 2:49 PM..
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Old 09-29-2012, 3:01 PM
SilverTauron SilverTauron is offline
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..... or simply shooting a rifle without resting it on a bench.

*AHEM*

I haven't shot a rifle off a bench in more than a year-and that time was only because the indoor range I was at didn't allow offhand shooting.Shooting off a bench is against my religious beliefs.

For an understanding of the religious cult i'm a part of, read the holy book titled "The Art of the Rifle" by apostle Jeff Cooper. Enlightenment is found in the prone, sitting, crouched, and proper standing position.Bench rests are for the spiritually weak.
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Old 09-29-2012, 3:02 PM
Merc1138 Merc1138 is offline
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*AHEM*

I haven't shot a rifle off a bench in more than a year-and that time was only because the indoor range I was at didn't allow offhand shooting.Shooting off a bench is against my religious beliefs.

For an understanding of the religious cult i'm a part of, read the holy book titled "The Art of the Rifle" by apostle Jeff Cooper. Enlightenment is found in the prone, sitting, crouched, and proper standing position.Bench rests are for the spiritually weak.
You're preaching to the choir
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Old 09-30-2012, 1:55 PM
katokat katokat is offline
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You're right, all of that practice with sight alignment, trigger control, manipulation of controls, drawing. target acqusition, positions, breathing, etc.(some of those obviously only apply if your .22lr is similar to your centerfire) at <$20 for a box of 500 rounds is a waste
I hadn't thought of those things. You have a good point that beginners have more than just pulling the trigger to master, and it takes awhile for them to become second nature. I guess I shoot so much that most things are habit to me.
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Old 09-30-2012, 4:58 PM
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movie zombie movie zombie is offline
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LOL, Silver!
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Old 10-18-2012, 9:52 AM
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I used to work in a pawnshop that sold guns.

Lots of men came in wanting to buy guns for their wives. The vast majority asked about guns that were easy to use and would stop a bad guy as they suspected their wives would not do much range time or training.

Of that group most went with 38 revolvers and 9mm glocks.

They would fondle guns they liked but bought what they thought would work for the wife.

My wife who loves to shoot but hates shopping in general doesn't go into a gunstore unless I drag her shops by taking whatever gun of mine she likes.

I get told "I'm taking that that Glock/AR /Browning Broadway (That one hurt) so you probably need to go get yourself another one."
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Old 10-18-2012, 10:41 AM
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Tell him it's not big enough.

And when he looks at you funny, then say...
It's ok honey - most all men overestimate the size of things.
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