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Concealed Carry Discussion General discussion regarding CCW/LTC in California

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  #1  
Old 11-18-2017, 7:21 AM
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Default Kids and CCW

So I have everything friends that are all going through this, we all have kids of different ages and just wanted to see what everyone else opinion on some situations were.

First- I have a 10 year daughter, she knows we own firearms and she has he on pellet gun. My question is would you tell your child you have a CCW and when you are carrying or not? My worry would be she would unknowingly say something to someone. Which could arise a lot of unwanted questions or concerns.

Second- Similar to me, but there son is only 4, again knows about everything has his on pellet gun but has my same concern.

Third- Friend has two kids under 5, both really hang all over pretty much any adult they know. Like figure 8 around ones legs with hands everywhere. Concern is pulling cloths or showing in some manner, so they don't carry often. Wife carries in her purse sometimes, but the oldest is getting to the point where she wants to know what's in the bag and play with it.



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Old 11-18-2017, 8:02 AM
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What worked for us: We just downplayed it and don't make it a big deal. I used to give my daughter piggy back rides, one time she asked what was under my shirt and I told her all she said was "oh".I think the bigger deal you make of it the more it is an issue. She typically never mentions it.
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Old 11-18-2017, 8:34 AM
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Been carrying since my boy was zero..now seven. He thinks its no big deal, but knows not to discuss it in public.

He knows safety..kid..... Stop..dont touch..tell an adult.
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Old 11-18-2017, 8:39 AM
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It's just part of the package. If it's your own kids, decide how you want to handle it based on their personality as well as their level of development. Then, take control of it before it becomes a problem. As for other children "hanging" on to you, you must control that as well. They may discover your carry and grab it, knowing nothing about what they are doing. Same thing with the "huggers" - be very careful around them as well. "What is that?" "Its a medical device".
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Old 11-18-2017, 9:07 AM
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Originally Posted by BrokerB View Post
Been carrying since my boy was zero..now seven. He thinks its no big deal, but knows not to discuss it in public.



He knows safety..kid..... Stop..dont touch..tell an adult.


Yeah I've only recently started carrying so it's not something my daughter is used to, but I was thinking head it off at home before something in public happens. And at least make her aware I am carrying, and it's okay for me to carry.


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Old 11-18-2017, 9:09 AM
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What worked for us: We just downplayed it and don't make it a big deal. I used to give my daughter piggy back rides, one time she asked what was under my shirt and I told her all she said was "oh".I think the bigger deal you make of it the more it is an issue. She typically never mentions it.

The bigger deal than it needs to I totally understand, and that makes since too me. Brush it off like its nothing.
I'm just not used to much of anything yet, only recently started carrying.


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Old 11-18-2017, 9:20 AM
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We have been very active with firearms with our daughter. She is 12 and has both .22 rifles, as well as a Walther P22. Everything is locked up, and no access for her. The "allure" of firearms is non existent with her. She completely understands they are tools, no different from a hammer or a screwdriver. We did have a very open and honest conversation with her when she asked why I carry. 5 minutes in she hugged me and said thank you.

We did discuss being careful about grabbing on to me as well, my wife reminded me of a Vons incident.
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Old 11-18-2017, 10:23 AM
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My youngest is 16 and the rest are adults. They know I carry and they assume I have it on me at all times. They don't say anything to anyone.
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Old 11-18-2017, 11:06 AM
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Originally Posted by back4more70 View Post
My youngest is 16 and the rest are adults. They know I carry and they assume I have it on me at all times. They don't say anything to anyone.
As it should be............. Well done.
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Old 11-18-2017, 11:27 AM
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My kid is 4 and he knows I carry. We learned we don’t talk about it EVER. To get to that point we’ve had lengthy conversations and phases. We’re now in a phase where he carries an old bianci leather holster with a nerf gun around with him when we go out in public. Again, he is taught to never mention what daddy has or does “as we don’t want the bad people to know we are the good people”.
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Old 11-18-2017, 12:45 PM
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One comment to make: if you are going through a divorce, and there is a custody review, be prepared for the judge or Guardian ad litem to look down their nose at you if you are out with your child, carrying.
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Old 11-18-2017, 1:12 PM
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My kids know.. and they know firearms and how serious they are. They also know not to blab to the world.

I think they feel safer knowing that I have a real way to protect them out in the world.

Keeping your kids ignorant is never a good idea.
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Old 11-19-2017, 4:18 PM
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Get your kids out and get them shooting!!!!!

My boy is ten.
He's been involved with our firearms for many years.
Similar to CJ above, he has his own 22 rifle, can fully manipulate a P22 handgun (I can leave him alone), he has his own 20g shotgun, pellet gun for around the house too.

He's been a spectator at a dozen or more adult firearm classes.
When he was nine he went through separate self defense shotgun & carbine classes. Carbine, he stopped after bench shooting, still wasn't strong enough to shoulder the weapon.

He went through the classes not to learn self defense, but just to learn, and get used to manipulations, and disassembly/cleaning.
It was also his choice, and when he got tired, it was his choice to go sit down.

I never force anything on him.

As far as CCW, he knows not to touch it, but he knows he can in a life or death emergency to protect himself.

I may be lucky or just over exposed him to firearms, but he has zero interest in handling guns just because.
Ask him to go shooting though, and it is on!!!!!.
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Old 11-19-2017, 8:35 PM
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Thank you all, and we are working towards that, I think I'm biggest issue is I'm pretty new to all this. Only got into firearms a little over a year ago. Didn't grow up around them, and neither did my daughter. So we are having to learn about all them now, and trying to make is second nature as it should be.
I am still getting familiar with everything so we are working through it all.


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Old 11-19-2017, 8:51 PM
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"Just like the police - for shooting bad guys". Kids understand more than we give them credit.

Just to be extra cautious I usually carry condition 2 - most kids can't rack the slide.

Also, when trying a new holster / pistol combo I always carry condition 2 cocked & locked just to see how that goes. Many combinations result in a safety flipped - rather find that in condition 2 than otherwise.

Yes, always practice draw and rack.
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Old 11-20-2017, 12:38 AM
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I've been carrying a CCW for a long time. my children understand why police soldiers and daddy carry guns. they have been through firearms safety training themselves.

My daughter's have both been to Front Sight Nevada. First time my little one was 6, oldest was 9. Both have fired full auto weapons.

Build a culture in your home that reflects your beliefs. Don't give a **** about the fearful perceptions and opinions of non firearms knowledgeable outsiders.

I carry an EMP-9 1911 in category 1, cocked and locked, because Israeli carry is more dangerous than one in the chamber. The majority of defensive shooting incidents will be close enough that cat 2 may get you killed.

Trust your weapon or get one you can with a round in the chamber...
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Old 11-21-2017, 11:02 AM
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My kids 5,6,7 know I carry and why. They also know that private family business/info is private family business/info. They have been taught that it's nobodies business what I have, and to never mention it. I also keep my firearm on the table next to me when I'm working so they are used to seeing a pistol and that it's "normal" but to never touch it, and all the other standard educational stuff that we preach to our kids about guns/friends/other people with guns.
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Old 11-21-2017, 11:29 AM
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Default CCW with a toddler?

Hello guys, I am a recent father, what, where, how did you CCW with little ones constantly in your arms and attached to your side?
I have several concerns, first my traditional CCW spot (4 o'clock on my belt,) is where my son now regularly perches in my dominant arm (right side.) I could move my holster to 5 o"clock a little further back, but it is still to close to curious exploratory hands for my liking. I have a nice holster with good retention (RCS-OWB ) but was curious what others had done in such situations. What did you guys do? Thanks for the info, appreciate any feedback from your collective experiences.
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Old 11-21-2017, 12:23 PM
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We shoot and reload together. I has been that way since they were young. It is not a wake up and discuss. It is a way of life that they accept because as a family we accept it.

Break them in slowly and teach them fire arm handling and shooting. My daughters were started on sling shots, BB guns, archery, pellet guns, and then firearms. Logical transition and it was a matter of how each handled safety in the progression of things.
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Old 11-21-2017, 12:33 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Robotron2k84 View Post
One comment to make: if you are going through a divorce, and there is a custody review, be prepared for the judge or Guardian ad litem to look down their nose at you if you are out with your child, carrying.
In a perfect world you would think they would admire you for going the extra mile when it comes to your childs safety. But basically what they are telling is that they don't trust your actions or judgement.
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Old 11-21-2017, 1:30 PM
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My 9 year old knows that I carry and knows it is part of my daily wardrobe. She also knows not to talk about it or fight club.
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Old 11-21-2017, 1:43 PM
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Are your kids old enough to under stand they do not discuss guns with their friends/ classmates etc??

If so they I would include them. Teach them code words and what they need to do etc.
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Old 11-22-2017, 11:04 AM
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Kids don't know and I don't tell.
What's that under my shirt? Oh, it's my phone.
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Old 11-22-2017, 1:56 PM
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The only time I can carry is when I'm out of state. The first time my daughter was about 10. We dropped everything off at the hotel and went to eat. When we got back I asked her if she noticed anything, she said "nope" - when it comes to her awkward dad, she notices everything. I just explained that we don't discuss guns in public (she already knew this) and we definitely don't tell people I'm carrying. We went to Zion National Park. We were going to go into one of the shops and she subtly pointed out the "no carry" sign. No words, just a quick nod. My girl's got my back and she knows I've got hers.
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Old 11-22-2017, 9:58 PM
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I did not know that baby goats could shoot guns, or speak english.

Back on topic, OP, your choice on how you go about your children understanding what/why you do carry.

A couple of good friends of mine that carry, have have the convo. with their children, and they understand the best they can.
Some children have more discretion than others, so sometimes that helps choose your decisions.
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Old 11-22-2017, 10:34 PM
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You've gotten some great advice. I want to mention that a little brainwashing is never too early. Especially if you have daughters. Mine understand that I carry so a bad guy has a better chance of surviving than if I need to use my hands

They also know that I COULD deflect bullets by flexing but wouldn't because without being able to control the ricochet it's irresponsible. Of course mine claim to still believe in Santa at 9 and 11 so they could just be full of crap

Red.
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Old 11-22-2017, 10:47 PM
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I have a 10 year old daughter and she knows what's going on. If you don't make a big deal out of it and go casually there shouldn't be any problems. However, it is always a good idea to tell your child what not to say to other people. Get your wife involved. Decide on a strategy then talk to a child separately.
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Old 11-23-2017, 9:42 AM
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Thank you all for the great words, I've spoken to my wife about it a few times. And have been preparing my daughter for it but haven't told her yet. She does know not to say anything about the firearms we own as well. I do like the idea of keeping my carry gun in the open at home to get everyone more used to it around. I will defiantly pass along the read to my friends as well.


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Old 11-23-2017, 10:01 AM
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All my kids know. My two youngest are 10 and 12. My 12yo daughter and I were doing a group volunteer clean up last month. I bent over to pick something up, and she quietly pointed out that I was showing my pistol. They know the wrath that will unleashed upon them if they advertise my carrying or us owning guns. I also keep it on my desk or the table downstairs if I'm not carrying it at home. My kids never ask or touch it. Its normal to them.

Now living in AZ we really escape the "OMG he's carrying a gun" liberal mental disease that lives CA. But it all starts in the home. You have to talk to your kids and explain it and teach them. Its kinda like alcohol. Do you hide that from your kids their whole childhood then when they leave the house at 18 expect them to know how to handle it?
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Old 12-31-2017, 2:41 PM
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I'm relatively new to firearms. My dad had some tucked away in the closet, but we never went to the range or got to use them. Probably the worst thing my dad ever could have done for curious boys. Fortunately, we found plenty of excitement and trouble other ways without getting into his firearms.

Fast forward to 5 years ago and a teen was jumped and knifed to death by 3 others over a cell phone at our reasonably safe park 2 blocks from our house, where my wife had just been a short time before with our 4 kids and a niece and nephew... we started the process to get our CCWs right away.

We know must of California is anti-gun. At the time we don't know who is pro or anti among our friends and extended family, etc. So we told the kids: we don't talk about guns with anyone, period. We don't know if they may repeat it to a friend or someone who has drug or money problems and we don't want to make ourselves targets for a break-in and theft. Kids were 12-15 at the time.

As soon as we had our own firearms, we took all the kids to the range and had them shoot. Just to get rid of the mystery. We told them anytime they wanted to go shooting with us at the range, they were welcome to do so.

Later that year, my youngest son said he was tired of shooting handguns, and talked us into getting our first rifle. On advice of sage older men I now new, I bought him a bolt-action .22 so he would have to go slower and be more focused for each shot (I picked up a .22 semi-auto before the 10-day wait was over). We'd go hiking on BLM land and have fun with target practice. We've also done 2-day Appleseed Project rifle shoots with all of the family.

So, fast forward to now. My kids all have their own .22 rifles, AR-15s they've built from stripped lowers, their own handguns (legal to transfer to them at age 18). They're very proficient, and my house is the last place a bad guy would want to break in. We know who all of our family and friends are who are pro-gun. In fact, 99% of them are, and the 1% who are not we already didn't get along with along other political lines. Well, there are a few strange caveats there, but this post is getting too long anyway.

Back to your original question: I think we did exactly what we needed to do in regards to telling our kids not to talk to others about firearms. This includes doctors and teachers (many forms now ask about firearms in the home, we tell our kids it is not their business and it's not lying to answer "no" to protect our family). We are hugely pro-2A and my kids know how to identify others who are at least 2A neutral. We actually have fun converting others to being pro-2A and owning their own firearms. We've taken a dozen never-shot-a-gun types to the range and more than half of them own their own firearms now, and the other half are just greatful for the experience (even if owning a gun isn't the thing for them, at least not right now).

One of the first things we did was come up with code names regarding firearms. As an example, if I was printing, my wife or kids could call me Gutenberg. "Hey, Gutenberg, got any more Bibles hot off the press?" My wife's first EDC was a S&W Bodyguard. Kevin Costner was "The Bodyguard" and also played in Dances with Wolves. So we started referring to handguns discretely as "got your dances?" Both of these could easily be played off if someone overheard and asked: "Oh, it's an inside joke about forgetting my Bible at home" or "not returning a DVD on time."

We have close family relatives and friends who know we carry all the time. Especially in the summertime, I'm known to walk around the house with my shirt off wearing shorts or if it is at night with just PJ bottoms. These friends and family are all used to me carrying 24/7, so seeing me with my EDC doesn't phase them. The hardest thing I have is just reminding those non-immediate family that I don't share my info about firearms without considering who it is I'm sharing the info, and that I ask them not to share my info with others - let me make that decision myself.

Finally, as my kids enjoy firearms, I've taken them to Front Sight Nevada at the ages of 16 or 17 for the 4-day handgun self-defense class. Very good class. Once my kids turned 18, I've given them handguns and encouraged them to apply for a Maine LTC. Maine issues for ages 18-20 and is Constitutional Carry for 21+. To apply for a Maine LTC they had to take an additional handgun class with a safety element by an NRA instructor. My kids were more proficient than any other person who was taking the 8 hour class for their new CCW.

One last final note: As my family is now very proficient, but my kids are not yet 21, I have started carrying both my EDC and BUG whenever I leave the house. My family all practice drawing my BUG from 5 o'clock and should the need arise, I'm glad my kids would be armed in an active shooter situation. Speaking of, my kids have also participated with me in active shooter situation drills in the home for the past 4 years and were even play actors in a live-performance murder mystery active shooter dinner we put on with a local gun instructor this past summer. My kids have known the Cooper color system since then, and know what to do if I say Yellow (head outta your phone), Orange (someone sketch - head on a swivel), Red (drawing now, I/we may have to fire to stop a threat), or even Black (active threat, shooting will be required, I'll engage, you flee). Just don't overwhelm them, especially at a young age. My kids have been introduced slowly to all of this for 5 years.

Also, don't be afraid to slow down or really talk things through either - find out what their comfort zones are. About a year ago, my kids were rather rattled when I had to draw on a drugged-out neighbors' estranged son who decided he was going to try to chase after me and attack me. It took a few months before they wanted to go out in public other than school or church and not be with me or their mother who also has her CCW. It just sort of woke them up to, "This isn't a drill or a game, we may really have to use guns, and there really are bad people who may want to harm us that we may have to shoot)." Even though they weren't even present, just my wife was, but the hearing of it was particularly hard for my youngest son who was 17 at the time. Fortunately, I didn't have to fire, and all worked out well (neighors' have a restraining order on him now, and we haven't heard or seen from him since).
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Old 12-31-2017, 3:41 PM
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My kids know not to mention guns in public. It’s on the list of things we don’t make comments about in public, along with somebody’s size, shape, skin color, etc.
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Old 03-03-2018, 1:56 PM
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I have two daughters, age 7 and 11. I've been CCWing for 11 years (guess why I started).

They know I carry. They know it's not something we want people to know about. So far it hasn't been an issue.

They've both grown up knowing dad probably has a gun on him. It's our normal.

Lately their teachers and friends have been talking about guns a lot in school. To my knowledge my CCW hasn't been brought up, but both my kids have pointed out holes in some of the anti-gun B.S. they've been hearing at school.

Proud dad here.
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Old 03-03-2018, 2:35 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Robotron2k84 View Post
One comment to make: if you are going through a divorce, and there is a custody review, be prepared for the judge or Guardian ad litem to look down their nose at you if you are out with your child, carrying.
Not saying it would not happen and it is probably best to avoid the topic. But we carry for self defense and defense of our families. My response would be. You do not care enough for your family and children to be prepared to protect them? Shame on you! Of course, I am and old guy and my children are adults.
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Old 03-06-2018, 12:13 PM
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It's not a big deal unless you make it one.
Don't burden your kids with keeping a secret they cannot keep.
Friends kid likes to climb on your hip/leg etc., (firearm side) then switch them to the other hip/leg. Done. No need for words.
Just share enough as your kids mature. Notice I didn't say "get older".
BTW.
I don't suffer other people 's kids climbing on me whenever they decide to. Repeat after me " NO! ".
Your carry piece is you and your spouses business.
You don't tell your kids how much money is in your bank accounts do you?

Sent using a long string and 2 Dixie cups
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  #35  
Old 03-06-2018, 12:40 PM
Robotron2k84 Robotron2k84 is offline
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Originally Posted by BAJ475 View Post
Not saying it would not happen and it is probably best to avoid the topic. But we carry for self defense and defense of our families. My response would be. You do not care enough for your family and children to be prepared to protect them? Shame on you! Of course, I am and old guy and my children are adults.
What you need to weigh is the relative realistic need to defend yourself and the real possibility that a liberal judge disagree with your rights and custody doesn't go your way. I agree that it's a BS choice to have to make, but that's reality in the courts here.
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Old 03-08-2018, 3:28 PM
TRPMIKE TRPMIKE is offline
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My son is 3 now. No issues at all. Just like others mentioned above, whenever he has felt something inside my shirt and asked what it was, I just told him, “nothing.” Changed the subject and he never asked again. Once he gets a little bit older I’m definitely going to start taking him out to the range. The earlier he gets familiar with firearms the better. Just like my Dad did with me.
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Old 03-08-2018, 3:47 PM
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71MUSTY 71MUSTY is offline
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As soon as they were old enough to understand our children learned about stranger danger, paying attention to mom and dad when out in public and

What code words to use if something or someone is making you feel unsafe.

At age 10 the kids began taking roles in our self defense planning including

What code words to use to get mom and dad immediately into high alert and when to use them.

What exactly to do when they hear certain code words. Like when to hit the deck because dad's or mom's going to fire. When to leave with mom immediately, when to seek cover etc.

Kid's actually feel better knowing Mom and Dad are protecting them.
And by age 10 they are old enough to understand what you do not talk about and why if your honest with them.



As for little kids climbing all over you:

If you are wearing a proper holster this will not be an issue as a child touching your weapon thru your clothing will not cause an ND.
And it will not result in the weapon falling out of your holster.

Invest in proper equipment.

If I child feels something solid under your clothing their mind does not go to gun.

I ran a Church Bible study group for 3-5 year old kids for years, always carried, never had an issue.
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Old 03-08-2018, 9:14 PM
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Tonyson Tonyson is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Chevydriver View Post
My kids know.. and they know firearms and how serious they are. They also know not to blab to the world.

I think they feel safer knowing that I have a real way to protect them out in the world.

Keeping your kids ignorant is never a good idea.
This^^
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Old 03-09-2018, 7:19 AM
ModestoGuns ModestoGuns is offline
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This is a tough topic. You will get many different opinions and usually none of them are wrong. My opinion is talk to them about it, but make sure they know it is not something to be discussed and explain why. I believe this is important because there should be some type of code word that your family knows that sets a plan into action if something bad is happening and you plan to engage the threat. They should know what to do in that situation if you ever need it. Again, this is my opinion, specifically with kids over 5. Ultimately, you will make your decision. I would rather my kid have a big mouth and have to explain something than not know what to do in a bad situation.
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Old 03-09-2018, 8:38 AM
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Default What about before you could speak to them about it?

My son is just a year and a half, very curious and active. Vocalizing a lot and trying to grab at everything ( in particular my cell phone on my belt which he now realizes he can watch cartoons on.) But I am not able to have a rational conversation with him about firearms just yet.
I have tried various different locations, I can shoot my pistols both handed pretty proficiently so I considered just switching sides from right to left. Small of back versus side, etc. I live in a warm climate so am wearing shorts 80% of the time so ankle carry is a no go. What did you guys do when they were too little to explain? Did you forgo carrying till they were bigger? Or just come up with a alternatives like messenger bag or backpacks on your person?
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