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Old 07-26-2012, 3:31 PM
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masameet masameet is offline
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Originally Posted by teh.killer.of.zombies View Post
Well this works as well. Let me say I did not have a male role model or father figure growing up. So I never was raised in this sense. I was told by my fiances step dad that this was true as well.

So that's why I am asking. Would you feel its to late to change her mindset? By becoming the alpha of the relationship? See I have tries once but very lightly. She was raised to be strong and show no emotion. That a guy will not provide anything for her that she cannot do on her own. Her mother has never told her " I love you ". She has expressed she feels like a dude and its hard for her to talk or for her to be sensitive to the issue.
My parents never said I love you to me either. The only physical memories I have of my childhood are of them hurting me -- emotionally and physically. And more than once Mom said to me, You should have been born a boy. And you know what? I never once used my lousy childhood as an excuse to hurt the men in my life.

For people like us, talking with professional therapists helps. You need it. She needs it. Go together or go separately. But get some. And stop using her excuses to excuse her crummy, unloving behavior towards you. You have a brain and a loving heart. Remember that.

EDIT: Don't know if you read fiction, but if you do Maugham's "Of Human Bondage" (1915) might give you some insight.

"Let those find fault whose wit's so very small,
They've need to show that they can think at all;
Errors, like straws, upon the surface flow;
He who would search for pearls, must dive below." -- John Dryden

Last edited by masameet; 07-26-2012 at 3:42 PM..
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