If you're wondering why some people are responding the way they are... it's probably because you used the childish term "noob". When we see or hear "noob", we automatically think, "child that needs to be supervised".
Well that's certainly how I see it anyhow.
Just go buy a fully built one and PLEASE follow the FLOWCHART and the law so you don't mess it up for the rest of us, you noob.
...Slow, deep breath in followed by two quick, shallow exhales, then one long breath out. It should sound like "HEE HEE HOOOOOOOOooooooo...HEE HEE HOOOOOOOOooooooo". Once your comfortable with that breathing pattern, try to sync the tempo up with your heart rate. "Lub-dub...HEE HEE HOOOOOOOOooooooo... etc". ~ CBruce