*People shout, "I didn't do it!" when you walk into a room.
*Your idea of a good time is an armed robbery in progress at shift change.
*You disbelieve 90% of what you hear and 75% of what you see.
*You believe the government should require a permit to reproduce.
*You believe prozac should be added regularly to the water system.
*You believe anyone who says, "I only had two beers" is going to blow over .15
*You walk into places and people think it's THE MOST HILARIOUS thing to grab an acquaintance and shout, "They've come to get you...".
*You have the bladder capacity of five people
*You think it is perfectly normal to discuss dismemberment over a gourmet meal with your spouse
*You disbelieve 90% of what you hear and 75% of what you see
*You can identify a negative "tattoo to tooth" ratio just by looking at a person
*You believe that unspeakable evils will befall you if anyone says, "Boy, it sure is QUIET around here"
*You take it as a compliment when someone calls you a *****
*You have had to put a complainant on hold, while you laugh uncontrollably
*You believe irritable bowel syndrome is normal and happens to everybody
*You think caffeine should be available in I.V. and inhaler form
*You can tell the severity of an accident just by hearing the type of sirens
*You have a crazy ex-wife/husband(s)
*You have learned a lot about paranoia, simply by following random cars around in your patrol car
*You believe that the holding cell should come with a Valium salt-lick
*While off duty sitting at a red light, you look for skid marks in the intersection and determine the point of impact