Originally Posted by teh.killer.of.zombies
You're absolutely right. It is just hard on my mind. I feel if I walk away from this relationship that I have let my kids down. I'd rather her just plain outright kick me out.
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Can I suggest that you waiting for her to kick you out is you CHOOSING to live in misery. That she would accuse you of having sex with her mother tells me she is completely out to lunch.
I (a total stranger on the internet) am just giving you an opinion - but obviously I think what I have to say is worth wasting my time writing it out...
She sounds like she has a personality disorder of the Histrionic or Narcissistic type who is using the accusations to throw you off and keep you emotionally upset - it is a form of control. Sadly I had a similar experience with a crazy man and it took me far too long to get free. This is NOT GOOD FIR THE KIDS - and it weakens your ability to be a fully functioning parent.
I suggest you try "duplex" style living and you emotionally detach from her as that is where all her power resides and keep a journal because if she senses you slipping out of her grasp she may begin to mess with the kids and you need a record of these things if it comes to a custody battle (not recommended)... Keep doing the right thing for the kids but distance yourself so yo can offer them a sane and safe place when she starts doing to them what she is doing to you and trust me - sooner or later it will happen bt f you keep doing the next right thing the kids will one day know it and let you know they know it. That is the best reward and yes, revenge.
You sound like a good and decent man - from what you wrote - if you think you can change her and renew the trust I believe you are mistaken and will spend years twisting yourself into a pretzel to wrest sanity from the insane. Don't do it - it is like arguing with idiots or drunks - just makes you crazy and loses more precious seconds of your life.