As a divorced man(due to her infidelity), and one who has had numerous girlfriends, let me say this. I agree with some of the comments, and disagree with some.
I could have stayed in the relationship(marriage) longer since she wanted to wait to get a divorce until we were in better financial shape. But, my feeling was, you are either married to me or you're not. You don't get to stay under my roof and play around with another guy.
As for going through phones/computors, that is the accepted, number one thing to do nowdays if one thinks that someone is cheating. I did it to a GF, which confirmed my suspicions that she was back with an old flame. I am not saying it was right, but self preservation often causes one to do things one shouldn't.
If you ask if they are cheating, more than likely they will lie and say "No". My "exwife" admitted that is what she would have done if I had asked her.
With all the "social diseases" out there, you must protect your self in whatever way you can.
I agree with the "bail out now" comments that have been made. If nothing else, the space is needed at this time. You both need some serious alone time to think and work through things. Even if you think you can't afford to out, you can't afford to stay in this relationshp for your own peace of mind.
Plus, it gives you some of your self respect back. If you keep letting her walk all over you and control you, you will have less and less self respect.
I am currently working on re-establishing the relationship with lady whose phone I went through. We have had a year hiatus, and she did some major rethinking of our relationship and some of her attitudes. Whether it will work or not depends on whether I can over come some major trust issues with myself due to what see did last fall to cause me to go through her phone. But, so far things seem to be going okay as long as she stays away from the other guy. They go to the same church, so she has contact with him periodically.
Last edited by Sailormilan2; 07-27-2012 at 11:03 AM..