I'm pretty much with onequickshift on this, but maybe not as fervent. I agree that the woman needs to select the one that fits her best, not only in grip but features and force, and she needs to practice with it.
However, since there are so so many different types, there's no reason not to ask for advice to narrow it down to a manageable number to try out. No need to go through the wide range of guns available. Pick a glock-type, a revolver, etc. , with a couple different calibers and see what works best. Then start narrowing it down to a specific model.
My husband (missiondude) has some great S&Ws, but when I wanted to buy one for myself, I rented an XD, Glock, Sig, etc just to try out other types. Fell in love with the S&W 952, bought it, and found that it just didn't work for me during any type of competition. Couldn't get the darn thumb safety off fast enough. Still love it at the range, though. So I got a S&W M&P in 9mm, and it's the best thing for me. As he said above, he liked it so much he bought one too.
But I guess my point is that if the woman wants a gun, she needs to take ownership of the purchase, the training, etc. If she's not willing to do that, then just buy what you want and realize that she's just not into it.