I don't fit your criteria of a woman answering your question, but I can tell you what works for my wife. She picked out her Christmas present this year from under the glass. The gun she picked out is a S&W 6904. She had been wanting a 9mm and 92fs's were a bit big for her, but the 6904 fits her just right. She shoots it pretty well also.
We have lawyers and guns." -- Gene Hoffman