You CAN get full-up soft armor that also will take plates, but it is more a function of the carrier than the armor. The armor package is generally removable, and the carrier is usually either covert (concealable) or overt (designed to carry gear, mags, etc.). You can often use the same soft armor package in both types. Most plate carriers (overt or covert) can be used without plates when you want less weight.
Regarding spall, the carriers on their own will stop about 40-50% of the spalling from plate strikes, but they will be ripped to shreds and so will your face/throat. For a video of what a carrier looks like from just two rounds worth of spalling, please send me an IM with your email address. I strongly encourage the use of spall guards, either using surplus kevlar panels in front of the plate, or my custom made guards.
DBT makes great gear. They also have excellent concealable carriers. Be aware that their armor packages do contain laminates.