Wives are like husbands... let them shoot whatever they want and let them pick.
-> Rent the most types your wife can with different calibers and let her make the choice. We all do this at the beginning... and we still do when we want another toy. No difference.
Step 1) Ergonomics is key!!! Revolver, semi? what type, what brand, what model? If you don't like how it feels it won't make you shoot great. I know. Sold my S&W 3913 cause I hated how it felt in my hand. My Sig226 is more natural for me. Hate the glock. All personal preference.
Step 2) Caliber? .380, 9mm, 45acp, etcccc
You can modify a trigger, you can't change the ergonomics of the gun.
This may be a year of renting and shooting... if your wife buys in a rush and hates it later you'll both be out luck.
rent, rent, rent, and yes... rent.
I rented for 4-6 months before I chose the Sig226R. Don't regret the wait.
Laws and common sense is all up to interpretation to us humans... and guess what? Humans suck.
Onegtalon... toooooo many hobbies man !...
NRA, 2AF, HDF, GOA, CGN/CGF member