Why NOT to get her a 380
the 380 one of the most violent recoil calibers, this is because most of the guns chambered for this round is small and light, 380 is very expensive ammo and cost as much as 45 ACP. 380 is also a pain to reload. Due to cost of ammo, she will practice less and due to the recoil will not want to shoot it.
380 is going to be retired (though 007 will not admit it)
If it's for carry and concealment.. look at the Kahr MK9 in 9mm, the way the gun is designed, the higher axis lessens felt recoil.
If it's for self defense hme protection, I suggest the Beretta 92FS, my wife prefers her Browning HiPower but the HiPower requires more discipline as it's a cock and lock style pistol