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stitch_paradox 02-03-2013 8:29 AM

Blue Falcon
 
Share your Epic Blue Falcon moments, fireaway!

Scuba Steve33 02-03-2013 12:55 PM

Bunch of idiots in my platoon in basic were shelling out serious cash for food so one day I swooped on two bagels and a Nutrigrain bar. Stashed them in my locker after breakfast to sell later and we had a surprise locker inspection. We were toeing the line and someone got caught with some **** and so we were already doing push ups. One of them got to my locker and all I heard was "Ohhhhh yesssss" and he threw the bag of them towards me. Slid right under my chest as I was pushing. They stopped the inspection and made us go outside where we "learned" how to dig foxholes for the next five hours.

brb cool basic training story bro

When I got to my actual unit I got ****ed up enough just due to the fact they had all just gotten back from a 15 month deployment that I didn't actually **** up. Will post others of joes being joes.

Bobby Ricigliano 02-03-2013 1:36 PM

One day in AIT we were ordered (as usual) to conduct hygiene and barracks cleaning after PT and before marching off to school.

I was by myself sweeping the stairwells, as was my assigned duty.

The senior Drill Sergeant burst in through the 1st floor stairwell and I heard him coming up the stairs. I yelled out "At Ease!" Even though I was by myself. He looked at me for a minute, and grunted "Hooah..carry on Private".

He proceeded up to the 3rd floor (where everybody else was). Every single soldier, to the last man, was either sleeping, listening to headphones, or just vegging out. No one was cleaning out of 100+ Soldiers.

The Drill Sergeant flipped a lid and started screaming for everyone to "Fall in" in the corridor. He yelled it several times because a lot of people were laying on their bunks with headphones and didn't hear him.

I heard the ruckus and sprinted up the stairs to fall in with the rest of the company. He roared for 10 minutes about the world's worst smoking that we could expect after school that day.

Then things got really bad....

The Drill Sergeant said "Where is that Private who was cleaning the stairwells?"
I panicked for a moment and then shouted "Moving Drill Sergeant!!"

He said "Take a look Privates!! One Soldier. ONE! One Soldier out of the whole company following my orders while the rest of you worthless soup sandwiches lay on your lazy asses!"

(To me) "Private, you are excused from the corrective training this afternoon. You will report to your barracks and carry on as usual."

I ran back to my place in the formation and felt hundreds of daggers flying at me as everyone glared at me in disgust, to no fault of my own.

All day everyone dreaded returning to the company area, knowing what was coming. The Drill Sergeant was as good as his word. Even in the warm southern heat, he ordered everyone into winter PT gear with 2 canteens formed up outside. I pathetically suited up and fell out with the company to try to take the punishment like everyone else. He remembered me and yelled at me to "Go Away Private..go inside!!"

I sat at the window upstairs and watched my entire company get tortured, hosed down, rolled through the sand pit (Volleyball pit, but no volleyball was ever played there), and scuffed up some more for about 2 hours.

I pretty much was Mr. Unpopularity from then on until graduation, and I didn't do a damn thing except exactly what I was told. Welcome to the U.S. Army.

The Soup Nazi 02-03-2013 1:54 PM

So when I entered the Delayed Entry Program, I managed to get two others to join with me, guaranteeing me E-2. Even though this method of advancement is colloquially referred to as being a "Contract PFC," I prefer the term Contract Blue Falcon.

Cpl. Haas 02-03-2013 2:37 PM

Here's one from current events:

Friday last week our LCPO announces he's finally gotten approval to initiate Phase III liberty... up until then, Phase III didn't exist in Aircrew Candidate School...

Saturday they discover some Phase II candidate took off to Talahassee overnight and didn't come back...

Monday they secure Phase III liberty before its even implemented...

Hooyah, Blue Falcon!

bambam8d1 02-03-2013 2:47 PM

Our Squadron Commander and CSM come walking up to a group of dudes in my platoon one day after pt, ask them how they are, how pt and everything is. One of these sh*thead PFCs who thinks he is some badass tells the Squadron Commander that pt is too easy and is a joke. WTF? lol gets back to our PSG that apparently our pt sucks and is too easy and he flips ****. Everyone got the **** smoked out of them for like 4 hours..

jaustin612 02-03-2013 5:45 PM

Heres a good one...
2 squids airwingers from Texas fly out and refuel in Okinawa.... Over night they try to have their way with a local national.... That was in October I believe, we've been on restricted liberty, no alcohol off base, and a 2300 curfew ever since then.... 2 people ****ed over 48000 servicemembers.

The Soup Nazi 02-03-2013 6:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jaustin612 (Post 10417322)
Heres a good one...
2 squids airwingers from Texas fly out and refuel in Okinawa.... Over night they try to have their way with a local national.... That was in October I believe, we've been on restricted liberty, no alcohol off base, and a 2300 curfew ever since then.... 2 people ****ed over 48000 servicemembers.

I actually knew and worked with the guy who tried to ditch the honcho that got Oki secured last time. :p There's always the conspiracy theory floating around that MCCS paid off X General to institute a libo policy to inflate number of patrons at E-Clubs. :TFH:

jaustin612 02-03-2013 7:46 PM

Oh yeah MCCS was thrilled, I mean they literally have a monopoly on alcohol consumption right now. Its pretty rediculous. We had the coolest New years ever... 11pm curfew to your barracks....

SGT Loco 02-03-2013 11:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jaustin612 (Post 10417322)
Heres a good one...
2 squids airwingers from Texas fly out and refuel in Okinawa.... Over night they try to have their way with a local national.... That was in October I believe, we've been on restricted liberty, no alcohol off base, and a 2300 curfew ever since then.... 2 people ****ed over 48000 servicemembers.

Ye-eah.... it's hard to top that :p

jaustin612 02-04-2013 4:10 AM

tell me about it, we're still paying for it now..pretty much the biggest blue falcon d-bag move I could think of lol. those poor bastards over in Iwokuni got pinged for it too, even though their on a completely different island... you all should have seen the protests, it was nuts, MCAS futenmas gate got shut down a couple of times...

stitch_paradox 02-04-2013 9:50 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jaustin612 (Post 10417322)
Heres a good one...
2 squids airwingers from Texas fly out and refuel in Okinawa.... Over night they try to have their way with a local national.... That was in October I believe, we've been on restricted liberty, no alcohol off base, and a 2300 curfew ever since then.... 2 people ****ed over 48000 servicemembers.


Yup.. that's pretty much wins it all. I'm gonna be ****ed over too since I'm going to Oki very soon. Is it true those two dirtbags are reservist?

Last week after field ops we where told we are going home a day early because we did a good job. Then serialized gear check came... some SGT lost his NVG. So we had to look for it from Thursday night to Saturday afternoon, we policed walked 2 ranges day and night in the rain looking for this "lost" NVG. Friday afternoon we have to unload and unpack everything just to look for that thing. Saturday morning they brought in some metal detectors, still no avail. We found countless comm wires, radio connectors, flashlight, some arty gear, and I personally found a dud helicopter ammo ( probably a 20 or 30 mm) but no NVG. And so we head back, making the new CO very disappointed. After a few days they found it, according to the story circulating, some CPL lost his NVG so he stole his SGT's NVG and tried to engrave his serial number on the gear. When he found his, he just stashed the "lost" NVG in a Humvee. What a dumbass.

jaustin612 02-04-2013 11:37 AM

[QUOTE=stitch_paradox;10422471]Yup.. that's pretty much wins it all. I'm gonna be ****ed over too since I'm going to Oki very soon. Is it true those two dirtbags are reservist?

\QUOTE]



yup, they were both reservists. There have been other incidents too though, like a week later some Airforce puke ran from the japanese police, broke into someones house and punched a 13 year old japanese kid in the face...That was great....

It depends on whats your definition of being ****ed lol... If you had plans on staying out drinking it up and partying with japanese girls at dirty little bars, well your aabout a summer too late. Its still a badass place to be, pm if you want, I'll be here till June.

The Soup Nazi 02-04-2013 3:38 PM

Thread drift but Okinawa is officially obsolete ever since they opened up three Coco Ichibanyas in SoCal.

jaustin612 02-04-2013 9:38 PM

Thats what i hear, how close to san diego?

thats good because I have a full blown addiction to some chicken cutlet level 10, with some garlic cheese naan bread... I literally level 10 it up for breakfast on the weekends, im pretty much convinced that cocos curry is a super food.

FMFdevildoc 02-04-2013 10:52 PM

We had a guy in our DET that we called "Snacks" - he was a fat, PT failure POG from day one. Well, he was required to work "the wire" (military / field detention facility). He worked 2 months, in an environment where HE was THE MAN and good lord. He showed up for guard muster / roll call one day in a plate carrier vest, with velcro thingies, pouch thingies, extend-a-baton (which he was not authorized) and the list goes on.

I was "assistant guard commander" and I immediately smashed that ridiculous, POG geirdo vest thingie immediately. He mentions "Well I am a third class petty officer" a paygrade GIVEN to him after his 17 day reservist bootcamp, yes 17 days. I ended the conversation and sent him on his way, sandy vag and all.

Shortly thereafter, I get called back to the facility to "decon" an inmate who had been OC sprayed. Guess what? It was SNACKS, who was clearly in a bad mood from getting punked.

Command Master Chief responds by reprimanding ME verbally... And restricting all below E4 guards from carrying their ONLY non-lethal weapon authorized for use in secured areas: OC spray.

But that's OK because daddy is a Corpsman. Per. US Navy regulations one cannot be above a 23% body fat. When we did our de-mob physicals he was FORTY SIX percent body fat. Yes sir, nearly FIFTY PERCENT LARD!! NEARLY ONE HALF LARD ARSE!! The Medical Officer agreed and signed the forms, writing further statements about the unacceptable morbid obesity, etc, etc.

I promptly wrote a recommendation that he be included in remedial PT, body composition program and possibly reviewed for administrative separation from the Navy due to "clear cut and egregious lack of physical conditioning due to no underlying pathological or justifiable reasons".

Last I heard, SNACKS got out of the Naval Reserve due to being a PT failure. Good, we don't need non-hackers in ANY capacity of this ALL VOLUNTEER military!!!!

The Soup Nazi 02-05-2013 5:38 AM

Closest one is in Irvine, about 40 minutes from Camp Pendleton.

I've never heard anybody in the Navy try to puff their chest with their rank unless they were a Chief, much less refer to themselves as a petty officer third class...

Matt1984 02-05-2013 9:22 AM

I was an MP.......need I say more

stitch_paradox 02-05-2013 6:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by The Soup Nazi (Post 10431116)
Closest one is in Irvine, about 40 minutes from Camp Pendleton.

I've never heard anybody in the Navy try to puff their chest with their rank unless they were a Chief, much less refer to themselves as a petty officer third class...

CPL, you haven't seen the blue navy yet. I've seen E3s and E4s that think they are entitled to everything. My favorite line is " My dad/uncle/etc is a Chief, sooo..."

jaustin612 02-06-2013 11:40 AM

Bahaha. I've been working with a Navy Command for the past 2 years... The way I see navy leadership is this. If you aren't a chief you aren't ****. There is zero small unit leadership and delegation. the 3rd-1st classes unless you are the LPO have no leadership abilities given to them and all act accordingly. The Chief Mafia, I call them that because they all chill in the smoke pit make all the calls and from there just give shotgun orders to everyone. All the other ranks just form one big slimey cluster**** and go about as such... Hopefully this is just an anomoly where Im at but if the rest of the Navy is like this than Im just curious how the damn boats stay afloat, much less get to where they are supposed to go:D


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