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-   -   What is "the wife" ? (http://www.calguns.net/calgunforum/showthread.php?t=650250)

BonnieB 11-29-2012 10:55 AM

What is "the wife" ?
 
Can someone explain to me why guys refer to their SO as "the wife"?

Why not "Sandy", "Sandy, my wife", "BW", "my wife"?

What is a "THE wife". Do they have the only wife in existence?

I ask because I've never heard a woman say "THE husband".




(for those that don't know, HH is for handsome hubbie, BW is for beautiful wife).

drdarrin@sbcglobal.net 11-29-2012 11:00 AM

I refer to my bride of 39 years as, well, my bride.

So, I can't answer your question.

movie zombie 11-29-2012 11:01 AM

ah, we have a romantic!
many could learn from you, drdarrin!

the wife = the old ball and chain.....
sounds much the same to my ear.

POLICESTATE 11-29-2012 11:02 AM

"The Wife" sounds a lot nicer than "The *****"?

Not sure about this, I don't refer to my wife as "the wife" but whatever.

Kestryll 11-29-2012 11:06 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BonnieB (Post 9814511)
What is a "THE wife". Do they have the only wife in existence?

As far as I am concerned yes, she is the ONLY Wife in existence for me hence the singular reference.
Also why do people refer to their employer as 'the boss' instead of 'my boss'?
Same thing, it's just a manner of speaking.

Quote:

Originally Posted by BonnieB (Post 9814511)
I ask because I've never heard a woman say "THE husband".

My Wife uses this term all the time when referring to me to friends.

em9sredbeam 11-29-2012 11:15 AM

I usually say "my wife," but I am sure that I have used the reference "the wife". The is used for singular and as term of endearment. Imagine how my wife would react if I said "one of my wives..." atleast if I say "the" it is singular. To me I do not see it as derogatory, the last time I used it went something like this "I have to get going because it is time to eat and the wife is an awesome cook." And that is not a insult saying she is in the kitchen where she belongs. She likes to cook, and I like her cooking and do everything I can to be encouraging. I don't know if anything I just wrote makes any sense, I am not running on much sleep.

BonnieB 11-29-2012 11:17 AM

I don't take "the wife" as horribly insulting, but it does seem to "second class" her.

But I do find "my bride" absolutely charming.

Bugguts 11-29-2012 11:18 AM

I don't have an opinion on "the wife" but I have never heard my husband refer to me as that and I know I have never referred to him as "the husband". He has a name and so do I. If he chooses not to use my given name, he can refer to me as The Goddess. LOL

Now my sister and I used to get irritated at our Uncle David because when he would talk to us and talk about our sons, he would refer to them as "the boy" whoever he was talking about. They were all interchangeable as "the boy" and we used to think he just didn't like them(my Uncle is pretty ornery so it wouldn't be unusual) until his only grandson was born and he DOTES upon that little boy and he calls him, yep you guessed it, "the boy". LOL

em9sredbeam 11-29-2012 11:18 AM

Dagnabit, no more posting for drdarrin. He's making the rest of us look bad. Kest, BAN him!

BonnieB 11-29-2012 11:21 AM

DrDarrin for WF Poster Boy!

Steph 11-29-2012 11:47 AM

I actually refer to my bf as "the bf" ("went to the range and tested out the bf's new ar" etc). Never really gave it much thought.

winnre 11-29-2012 11:51 AM

Man rule #43: Never call the wife "The Wife" in front of the wife!

zfields 11-29-2012 11:51 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kestryll (Post 9814593)
As far as I am concerned yes, she is the ONLY Wife in existence for me hence the singular reference.
Also why do people refer to their employer as 'the boss' instead of 'my boss'?
Same thing, it's just a manner of speaking.


My Wife uses this term all the time when referring to me to friends.

I'm not married, so I refer to my SO as "the boss lady".



Sent from my Incredible 2

Loubot10 11-29-2012 11:54 AM

Maybe the male mind needs Position in space

I'm in the house with
The wife watching
The TV
Who am I ?
The husband.:seeya:

roushstage2 11-29-2012 11:56 AM

I don't know if she's OK with me using her name in an online forum, so I don't. I'm also not going to ask, "Is it OK if I use your name when I talk about or refer to you online?" Maybe you all don't care, I don't know. I'd rather not find out afterwards that you do :p
I try to use "the Mrs." though, if that's any better? ;)

movie zombie 11-29-2012 12:14 PM

i don't share him so its "my" NOT "the" husband.........

frankm 11-29-2012 12:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by winnre (Post 9814914)
Man rule #43: Never call the wife "The Wife" in front of the wife!

Man rule #72: Never call the wife "my old lady" in front of her or her friends.

rojocorsa 11-29-2012 12:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BonnieB (Post 9814511)
Can someone explain to me why guys refer to their SO as "the wife"?

Why not "Sandy", "Sandy, my wife", "BW", "my wife"?

What is a "THE wife". Do they have the only wife in existence?

I ask because I've never heard a woman say "THE husband".




(for those that don't know, HH is for handsome hubbie, BW is for beautiful wife).



As a non-native English speaker, the term stuck out to me as well because it's a little strange...

Anyway, my inference is that this is just a way for men to refer to their wives. I bet most don't give it much thought really.



I think that it's like if a lot of people refer to something or someone in a certain way, it sticks. I don't assume there is any put-down intended.

billofrights 11-29-2012 12:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kestryll (Post 9814593)
As far as I am concerned yes, she is the ONLY Wife in existence for me hence the singular reference.
Also why do people refer to their employer as 'the boss' instead of 'my boss'?
Same thing, it's just a manner of speaking.


My Wife uses this term all the time when referring to me to friends.

I think that for a lot of men, "the wife" is approximately equivalent to "the boss," hence the carryover of "the" instead of "my."

i.e., "Let me check with the wife first..."

Bugguts 11-29-2012 12:26 PM

Well what about married people who refer to each other as "Mother" or "Father"? "We'll have to see what Mother says". Or all the way back to Gone With the Wind... "We'll have to see what Mrs. O'hara says" in speaking about his wife.

drdarrin@sbcglobal.net 11-29-2012 12:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by movie zombie (Post 9814551)
ah, we have a romantic!
many could learn from you, drdarrin!

the wife = the old ball and chain.....
sounds much the same to my ear.

A Romantic... Only to my bride!

BonnieB 11-29-2012 12:45 PM

Bugs, you changed your Avatar! I didn't recognize you!


LOL madly. My mother referred to my father as "Daddy", even to his face. I remember blowing up at about 9 years old, saying " He's MY daddy, Mum, not yours!"

And I just remembered my mother flinching when I referred to my boyfriend-du-jour as "my lover". And the 'du-jour' thing was much more belittling than the lover part....

I was engaged once to a man who was a career Army man. And I addressed him as "Major", but only in bed....:cool2:

Such a hot topic, how we address and refer to our loved ones.

Bugguts 11-29-2012 12:59 PM

LOL! Gotta keep you on your toes Bonnie!!

We are boring. We are Bill and Darlene. Except in bed, we are Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory which is odd since I am a racist.... ;)

baddos 11-29-2012 1:10 PM

The term "the wife" shouldn't really bother anyone. Your wife is your life long partner and best friend. If you're in an unhappy marriage or something and referring to her as "the wife" then maybe there is something to it.

winnre 11-29-2012 1:42 PM

I think "the wife" is better than being called "the ol' lady."

Librarian 11-29-2012 1:47 PM

There are some oddly-socialized women who object to the 'possessive' aspect of the word 'my'. They are often identifiable by their peculiar spellings of common words in written communications, e.g 'herstory', 'womyn'.

That said, I never refer to my wife as 'the wife'.

kaligaran 11-29-2012 1:48 PM

I call my significant other 'the other half'.

Does that count?

billofrights 11-29-2012 1:52 PM

Taking a page from Jurassic Park, I will just refer to my Gf as "the next future ex Mrs billofrights." Calling her "Number 4" just doesn't have the same romantic undertones :)

RookieShooter 11-29-2012 1:55 PM

"The Wife" is one step nicer than the "The *******". :)

Laythor 11-29-2012 1:58 PM

I'm not married so I refer to my girlfriend as "the chick"

llamatrnr 11-29-2012 2:00 PM

I'm another "bride" guy; never understood "the baby", either :confused:

guns4life 11-29-2012 2:02 PM

We say it because we hate our wives...obviously.




It beats, "Hey *****!"


;)

odysseus 11-29-2012 2:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BonnieB (Post 9814685)
I don't take "the wife" as horribly insulting, but it does seem to "second class" her.

That is of course though, and I intend to say this completely academically and not personally, is a reflection of your own interpretation based on your life experience or ideas and social congress you have accepted as others might have instructed you on. You place that emotional context into it for yourself.

I have not heard personally any women I know tell me being called "the wife" makes them feel "second class". My wife sometimes refers to me as "the husband" and that makes me feel good, not lowered. However it is rarely said by either of us and if done usually said with a smile while joking around.

Then as I say, that is how I interpret my own feelings about it.

Laythor 11-29-2012 2:14 PM

All this made me think of this joke:

Quote:

Two guys walk into a bar, separately, and have a seat at the bar.

One guy notices the other has a black eye, just like himself.

“Hey buddy, how’d you get your shiner?”

“Well, I was at the train station, and the ticket girl was ****in’ hot. And instead of two tickets to Pittsburg, I slipped and said ‘two PICKets to TITTsburg’ and she hit me square in the face. How about you? How’d you get yours?”

“Something similar actaully! I was just having dinner with my wife, and what I MEANT to say was, ‘Honey, can you please pass the peas?’ But I slipped up and said “You ****ing ***** you ruined my life!”

therealnickb 11-29-2012 2:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BonnieB (Post 9814511)
Can someone explain to me why guys refer to their SO as "the wife"?

Why not "Sandy", "Sandy, my wife", "BW", "my wife"?

What is a "THE wife". Do they have the only wife in existence?

I ask because I've never heard a woman say "THE husband".




(for those that don't know, HH is for handsome hubbie, BW is for beautiful wife).

I tend to use her name with friends, "the wife" with sales people, and "wifey" on forums. But I think Kes hit your answer on the head. No further explanation needed IMO.

movie zombie 11-29-2012 2:18 PM

OMG, i have to admit i LOL at that one, Laythor........!

Laythor 11-29-2012 2:21 PM

:43:

Timbob55 11-29-2012 2:23 PM

Personally, I prefer "she who must be obeyed"

CessnaDriver 11-29-2012 2:25 PM

A term used to allow an excusable reason to be subjugated.

"...let me check with the wife."

Bugguts 11-29-2012 2:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by movie zombie (Post 9815904)
OMG, i have to admit i LOL at that one, Laythor........!

Me too!! LOL If it makes people feel better though, I felt bad for laughing... for a second... :D


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