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steelrain82
08-03-2010, 2:14 PM
So my friend of 20 some years came to me the other day saying how has him and his wife have been going to counseling. He than said that his wife told him that she loves him but sometimes it feels like friend love. 50% love as a husband and 50% as a friend. Of course I laughed but said I think it's probably normal since my wife is my best friend that it would be reasonable. He seemed pretty hurt by it though. He thinks he should just end it I kind of think he should wait awhile. My wife seems to agree but she thinks your either in love or your not. I want to give him some advice but don't know what to say to him. So I figured I'd get some advice from you gals. Is his wives feelings normal.

Steyrlp10
08-03-2010, 5:02 PM
From your brief description, it sounds like your friend is saying that his wife has lost some of the passion for her spouse, correct?

Is this a longterm marriage for the two of them? Do they have children and if so, are the kids young or out of the house?

Does this couple share any hobbies/sports/interests in common?

These are a lot of questions, yes, but I'm trying to get a clearer picture of what may or may not be happening.

bruceflinch
08-29-2010, 9:35 AM
Tell him to read Dr Laura Sclessinger's books.
Care & proper Feeding of Marriage
Care & Proper Feeding of a Husband.

Mrs.Harmoniums
08-29-2010, 2:57 PM
From your brief description, it sounds like your friend is saying that his wife has lost some of the passion for her spouse, correct?

Is this a longterm marriage for the two of them? Do they have children and if so, are the kids young or out of the house?

Does this couple share any hobbies/sports/interests in common?

These are a lot of questions, yes, but I'm trying to get a clearer picture of what may or may not be happening.

good questions.

Steyrlp10
08-30-2010, 12:36 PM
Tell him to read Dr Laura Sclessinger's books.
Care & proper Feeding of Marriage
Care & Proper Feeding of a Husband.

Lol... and if all else fails, have a list of good restaurants :)

Steyrlp10
08-30-2010, 12:37 PM
good questions.

Thanks, but I think the OP has dropped off the planet.

Calweep
09-25-2010, 2:53 PM
your friend should wait for a while. and ask them to go for a Hawaii or Europe trip together. Just two of them....

onequickshift
10-05-2010, 11:46 AM
Honestly thats terrible to hear, because in a positive situation being a friend, a best friend, is a marriage. Simply because you marry your bestest friend, more so closer to you than any friend friend, best friend. If that makes sense. But in her use and context, seems the feelings of intimacy and passion is stale and other issues can combine with this. Bills, mortgage payments, kids, etc. Its hard, and its stressing. a simple trip to an exotic place doesn't cut it imho. The problem I see with most people, is they start strong as most do. But than grow apart, they stop trying so hard, and lose hold of each other persay, and become distant. To keep stuff strong like my grand parents who've been together for almost 80 years, you have to keep tackling and be against the world, but together, both should be partners in everything, I hate the saying behind every man is a good woman. It should be beside everyman is a good woman. Both have to really be dedicated to everything in life, but together. A man in this age doesn't just provide for his spouse and children, they provide for each other.

Common example. Man buys wife lots of jewelry. Woman buys her husband fishing gear or such. But of the most vague items. Everything should mean something. I am serious. When my bf shops for me, he buys me stuff Ill use, love having, and wont just toss away into storage somewhere, if he sees I am eyeing a new E2DL or a set of ginormous brembo big brakes for my 370z, he knows its something I really really want. Not just some purse. If I see him eyeing as he has parts for a .308 build I will save and buy nothing at all for myself for a while to get it for him. Or if he really wants certain tools, or stuff like that? Its all in the details. We buy each other diecast toy cars all the time. Its been god knows how many years since we first met in first grade, and we are ganna keep going strong. A love thats always adapting and changing can pass all. I am not talking about unpersonal object purchases, or fake shallow appearances like skinny stomachs, 6 packs on a guy, etc. Or fake boobs and small waist, firm butt for girls and stuff, that kind of stuff fades with time. I know sure hell I wont look as good now in 60 years, but I intend to have him cuffed to me still by then lol.

Some people fall out of love for all the stress in life...
Its sad, but it happens. Its hard to find and stick through everything in life. This topic is fairly old but I hope things worked out or work out for your friend.