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booknut
04-16-2006, 7:16 PM
BWEISE, ARTHERD, 11Z50, ALL OF THEM TALK ABOUT SMILIES, OKAY, I AM THE ONLY ONE ON THIS BOARD PROFESSIONAL ENOUGH TO USE THESE SMILIES
WHY THE HECK CAN'T I USE MORE THAN 4 THEN!?



I've been going through a divorce for the last several months now.
This has been an exhausting, painful experience.
We have one child.

For the most part, people who know us say we've been handling this whole thing quite well.
We aren't arguing about why the divorce is happening, in fact we both realize that after almost 17 years together, we're finally owning up to the fact that we've been denying the inevitable.

I still love her and hope the best for her.
We love our child dearly and have been working together to help our child make it through all this as best we can.

BUT,

Bring in the lawyers! :eek:

I don't hate lawyers. I have one for a brother-in-law and I like him.
It's just that when the lawyers get involved, things get real business-like and the matter of, "just being friends" seems to disolve.

Point-in-fact;

I have owned firearms most of my adult life (I'm 45 going on 46).
My wife has known about the firearms. She doesn't like firearms (she was in the military though).
She's never given me any sign of worry about my guns all these years.
Never;
asked me how many I have
asked me where I keep them
asked me if they are loaded

ALL OF A SUDDEN...
We go to court for a child custody hearing. Since I've been a parttime worker and the primary child-rearing parent all these years, I do not have an income to live on and support our child when I have custody.

My wife filed papers that stated she felt I was not fit to be a part-time parent. Seeing as how our daughter is at the top of her grade level academically-wise, and knowing that not ONE person in our community that I've spoken with can even imagine me being an UN-fit parent, I have to wonder where my wife got this idea all-of-a-sudden.

To skip ahead to the title...

Here's what she said in her papers about my guns, and I quote:
"I also request that my husband be ordered as a condition of any custodial time with our daughter, to surrender his guns, or at least keep all guns locked in a gun safe, unloaded and inaccessible to our daughter or other children. At one time, during our marriage, my husband was apparantly keeping a loaded handgun under our bed, unknown to me, at a time when our child was very young. My husband has several guns and has removed them all from the family residence. He has also removed the gun safe, but I need reassurance that all the guns are in the safe and are not available."

WHOA! :eek: Talk about unexpected!

I explained the situation to my attorney (the wife got her's first. I only got mine later for self-protection :D ) and when we went before the judge, my attorney asked to allow us to speak with a mediator first.

So we go into a room, just my wife, the mediator and myself, and he starts in with his opening speech. He reminds us that the courts are only concerned that the children are taken care of properly and that both parents maintain a prescence in the child's life...

Wife asks to talk individually.
When it's my turn, I sit down and the mediator gives me a short rundown of what the wife said/requested.
We get to firearms pretty quickly. He starts off with... "I'm just glad we have the NRA to help us protect our gun rights! And they are RIGHTS, but we won't go there for now." :D (Two more smiley smilies here if I had 5 & 6!)
I suddenly got a warm feeling in my heart for this man (eek smiley here if I had 7!)
Not the Brokeback Mtn sorta feeling, you understand!? (Big bulging eye smiley here, if I had 8!)
But the kinda feeling that the wife 'ain't gonna like this!' (Tongue-stickin'-out smiley if I had 9!)

He continues to say, "I keep a loaded gun in my home all the time." He's former law enforcement.

Skipping ahead...

The lawyers and my wife all come into the little room and we discuss our 'agreement'.
My agreement concerning firearms is...

"Sure, I'll just keep doing what I've been doing!"
The look on my wife's face was priceless!
I guess she expected me to be all worried and submissive to her.
After I explain to her attorney that I have ALWAYS kept my firearms locked up with the ammo separately locked up, he comes up with another question.
He asks me if I still feel the need to have a defensive handgun in the house...er MY HOUSE... and I say, "SURE!". He has nothing else to say but his face told me he'd vote for a S.F. ban for the whole country if he could.

I never figured the guns would play this sort of role in the divorce.
Hell, when we sat down months ago to split up the belongings prior to any legal orders, my wife wanted me to have the guns. She has no use for them at all. But NOW, they'r a problem and potential threat to our child?

I guess divorce does some strange things to folks.
I'll keep taking the highroad on this.
And of course, I'll keep my guns too!

dhl
04-16-2006, 7:23 PM
Please, tone down the typface a little. My eyes hurt!

booknut
04-16-2006, 7:40 PM
First it's my smilies...

Now it's my font...

Think I'll just lay down and cry :(

There... I 'toned it down', oops, I mean I sized it down... hold on a minute...

Howza' bout that? I made it a purty Indigo for ya'

grammaton76
04-16-2006, 7:46 PM
Sounds to me like the lawyer sold her on the anti-gun angle in order to help prejudice the judge in her favor. If she gets an anti-gun judge and makes you out to be some kind of paranoid militia type, then she'll be able to basically dictate whatever terms she wants...

Mssr. Eleganté
04-16-2006, 7:58 PM
Isn't right now about the time that her lawyer will convince her to file a restraining order against you "because she feels threatened"?

If so, you will have to give up all your guns while it is in effect.

booknut
04-16-2006, 8:05 PM
I'm actually not so worried as I am hurt by her accusations.

She's made other comments in her declaration that I can prove to be untrue. I've kept all documentation.
I believe the wife and her attorney knew this and that's why they didn't put up much of a fight over the agreement we made in court that day.
I'm just not sure why they tried this in the first place. Perhaps the wife pulled a fast one on her own attorney and he realized it after my attorney explained a few things to him.
I actually got the papers the afternoon before the court hearing.
I stayed up until 4:00 the next morning writing out my response to the accusations as well as providing documentation.
I'm not being accused of being abusive or a danger to anyone, it's just piddly stuff over money, mostly.

My attorney figures it's just the wife's attorney stirring things up.
They all know each other around there, so I figure it's most likely true.

But what's important to me is the fact that the wife signed those papers after reading them... at least my attorney had me read the papers she typed up, before I signed them.

EBWhite
04-16-2006, 8:13 PM
I'd like to know why guns are even an issue? Who gives a crap!?

booknut
04-16-2006, 8:13 PM
I believe that I would have the opportunity to refute the RO.
I may be wrong, never having had experience with RO's before.

She also brought up a flippant remark I made some 12 years ago, or so.
We were arguing about usual stuff, and I was a bit upset with my own self over things I wasn't making turn out right.
So, I get so upset that I figure I'm going out for a walk.
The last words I said were, "I oughta get a gun and shoot myself!".
Now, of course, you'll never be able to hear my tone of voice that I had used that night.

It was a remark much like saying, "I oughta go live on the moon!".

We even discussed the whole argument AND my remark, later on when we had calmed down.
I figured it was all finished then. Little did I know... 12 years later... when faced with losing some money...

I have ADHD. Been diagnosed with it three times as an adult (it took a lot to convince me!).
One of the hallmarks of ADHD is impulsive behavior. Not, hauling off and killing one's self kind of behavior. I mean letting loose with remarks like the one above.

Anyway, I figure I can defend myself in court against any accusations she wants to put forward.
Then, afterwards, I'm going to see if I can sue her for defamation of character, or something along that line.
I'm not looking for money, I just don't want a legal, public document to stand that accuses me of being suicidal, dangerous with guns, etc.

booknut
04-16-2006, 8:23 PM
You guys need to calm down a bit there!
It usually takes me 15 minutes to type out my replies and you all are spittin' out these short ones so fast I can't keep up! :D (to be safe, I've reduced my smiley capacity in this reply to just 2)


Guns are an issue because someone (her attorney? her family? some friend or acquaintance who 'means well' ) has gotten to her and helped her realize a threat that isn't really there... me!

She's done some bizarre things concerning our bank accounts, etc.
It's totally not like her.
I don't know if she's going through menopause, mid-life crises, or whatever, concurrently with this divorce.
She's polite, even friendly most of the time. But when it comes to working on the divorce... WAR!

Our friends and those whom we work around keep wondering why she does the things she does.

I know the police chief and many of the older officers well enough that I'm sure they'd wonder why on earth she was requesting a restraining order.
There's absolutely no record or eveidence that I'm any danger at all to the wife or our child... or myself!

ETA I forgot to use my second smiley... :D

Charliegone
04-16-2006, 8:26 PM
Gosh, I'm never getting married.

The problem is she is probably being bombarded with messages from her parents, girlfriends, lawyers etc etc and she is probably having a hard time coping with all that, she should just chill. It isn't a big of deal..just some people like to make it so.:rolleyes:

EBWhite
04-16-2006, 8:32 PM
Yes, marriage is a tough thing. It can be great to have someone to share your time with and help you. but you always cannot have your way and you gotta deal with other people's BS... sometimes it can be worth it, sometimes not.

jp.cherokee
04-16-2006, 9:15 PM
Hey,
Good luck Booknut. I have been married going on 20-years this October. It is not easy, and I have to young boys 5 and 8. If I get divorced I am screwed for "MANY" years. We only have one income "mine" and I could not pay for two places to live, we are now paycheck to paycheck. I would be out on the street. I guess I have to put up with my wifes *****ing for many more years... I guess I'll buy another lower...

m1371
04-16-2006, 9:33 PM
Booknut -

Dude, you have my best wishes in dealing with this situation. Divorce sucks, especially when there are kids involved. The lawyers never seem to REALLY be thinking about the kids, just how much $$$ they can suck out of you for the rest of your life.

I dealt with a similar situation when my ex- filed the papers on me. At our first court hearing, she requested that I surrender my firearms as part of a restraining order. As I explained it to the judge, if I give up my guns I lose all potential for income since legally carrying a firearm is a requirement of my employment. No guns = no job = no $$$. The ex- and her lawyer changed their tune REALLY fast when I told them there would be no further cashflow.

I'd say that the lawyer has screwed with your wife's head. They're good at that. Just another reason why I hate lawyers.

Keep your head on straight and try to take the high road in all this. Remember, your kid is the most important individual throughout this whole proceeding.

11Z50
04-16-2006, 9:55 PM
Booknut,
My regrets, but you have to fight the good fight. Hell they railroaded me for years. I won a few though, and now my daughter is one of my best friends. I did the right thing, paid the bucks, and although it infuriated me that the ex was simply taking advantage, the truth came out later.

filefish
04-16-2006, 9:57 PM
a wise man once told me:

"Ifi it flys, floats or f**ks, rent it"


I did not listen :(

dawson8r
04-16-2006, 10:16 PM
Sorry about your situation booknut. Good luck. If it makes you feel any better this is what happened to a friend of mine:

1. Friend and his wife decide to settle divorce without attorney.
2. Wife gets cold feet and hires attorney.
3. Friend gets attorney.
4. Wife starts sleeping with her attorney.
5. Attorney moves in with wife.
6. Friend drives by house every day on way home from work.
7. Friend sees attorney IN HIS OLD OFFICE ABOVE GARAGE everyday on way home from work.
8. Divorce is finalized. Attorney's score about $80K
9. Wife dumps attorney 2 months later.

When I heard this I told him its too bad he wasn't born 100 years ago. Then he could have just shot the attorney. Jury probably would have said, "You know, he deserved to die". Ah, the good ol' wild west!

Disclaimer: This is a true account of a couple of guys drinking a few beers and whining about the things guys go through to get laid. In no way does this author condone violence against others, even if they deserve it.

booknut
04-17-2006, 12:26 AM
I appreciate all the comments and kind words!

I feel like since she changed so dramatically in the last 4 months, going from "We'll be best friends still", and "Sure, we can try a separation first and see how things go",
to
"Oh, I didn't tell you I canceled the credit card", "I don't want you going into the house anymore to get your stuff unless you ask me first", and then the unfit to be a part-time parent stuff.

I've been the primary child-rearing parent for 12 years.
Anyone that knows us in our town, even if it's just through business transactions, knows how well our child and I get along.
I'm also active at the school, with the school band, etc.
The list goes on and on.

To have her come up with this business about the guns and my ability to parent our child EQUALLY with her, is really crossing the line.

I'm still trying to give her some time to get her head on straight.
I understand there can be stress from a divorce, and she definitely has plenty at her job, but I cannot tolerate lying about my moral character.

I'm actually going to speak with the chief of police in town tomorrow, if I can get in to see him.
I want him to know what's going on, just in case she does try to initiate an RO.
He's a gun guy also (I passed along a couple of those Frontsight Certificates for him and a couple of officers 2 years ago).

PanzerAce
04-17-2006, 12:43 AM
Hope you make it through ok.

xenophobe
04-17-2006, 12:47 AM
If I were you, have your lawyer secure a RO against her first.

It is common practice for a lawyer to seek more than either spouse would normally ask for in a divorce, and one of the standard practices is to put a RO on the other party, usually the man.

There is still time to tell your wife that you can do this without lawyers.... it would be less traumatic and more likely to be on friendly terms... the laywers will make a huge chunk of change and pit you against each other...

Pablo
04-17-2006, 3:20 AM
If I were you, have your lawyer secure a RO against her first.



Yeah I agree, if she has change so much in the last 4 months it would be better to plan ahead and get the RO ready.
Sorry to hear about your divorce "booknut". it should be specially painful for your kid. I really hope everything goes alright!

My best wishes for you and your kid, man!

bg
04-17-2006, 11:57 AM
Man I am SOOO glad my divorce only ran 250.00 bucks,
with the ex and I even going out for lunch once in a while.
Wheeeew !

Brass Balls
04-17-2006, 12:18 PM
Remember, her lawyer's goal is to make as much money out your divorce as possible while getting your wife wife as much money as possible. Knowing that this tact makes more sense. If they can paint you as unfit more support for her. If he just throws a bunch of untrue crap against the wall it will increase his billable hours by lengthening the process.

It all sucks. I hope that you and your kid come out as unharmed as possible.

Meat
04-17-2006, 2:42 PM
Gosh, I'm never getting married.

The problem is she is probably being bombarded with messages from her parents, girlfriends, lawyers etc etc and she is probably having a hard time coping with all that, she should just chill. It isn't a big of deal..just some people like to make it so.:rolleyes:

Not to mention the media...

http://www.ocregister.com/ocregister/news/atoz/article_1056306.php

That article made my stomach turn. Just read the section titles. Booknut, sorry to hear about what you're going through with your divorce. All things considered though, you should consider yourself lucky. Your wife's behavior is mild relatively speaking. Many women, my ex included, will lie through their teeth to hurt their soon to be ex-husband. Why? because they can in today's American family law atmosphere. My ex portrayed me as a wife beating alcoholic during my divorce. Lied to get a RO simply to have me removed from my home and access to my personal effects etc. As others have mentioned, I'll never remarry just so as to never put myself in that situation again. Good luck with the rest of your divorce.

11Z50
04-17-2006, 9:11 PM
Not to mention the media...

http://www.ocregister.com/ocregister/news/atoz/article_1056306.php

That article made my stomach turn. Just read the section titles. Booknut, sorry to hear about what you're going through with your divorce. All things considered though, you should consider yourself lucky. Your wife's behavior is mild relatively speaking. Many women, my ex included, will lie through their teeth to hurt their soon to be ex-husband. Why? because they can in today's American family law atmosphere. My ex portrayed me as a wife beating alcoholic during my divorce. Lied to get a RO simply to have me removed from my home and access to my personal effects etc. As others have mentioned, I'll never remarry just so as to never put myself in that situation again. Good luck with the rest of your divorce.

Mine was nice and cool in the beginning. "Let's stay friends" ploy. I fell for it, let her do as she wished and BINGO! I get served, I pay her half of my income for 8 years, and she goes Ho'in around while I have the kids. Middle age crazy I guess? The kids turned 18 and both now understand. Momma'a a ho. 'Aint Dad's fault. They still ask me, "Where did all that money go? We never saw it." Certainly, Child Support is a racket. The deadbeats that don't pay go on their merry way. Decent guys really get screwed.

OK, enough rancor.......I feel for ya Booknut, hang in there....

double_action
04-17-2006, 9:18 PM
Good luck Booknut. I've been through a divorce and child custody fight . . . not a fun thing, and VERY expensive. Hang in there; it does get better . . .

I spent a lot on my divorce, but the kids are safe and alright . . . . well worth the money for their happiness.

booknut
04-17-2006, 10:06 PM
Once again, I'd like to thank you all for your comments.

I'm sorry to hear of some of the experiences you guys have gone through.
I have to say that I'm beginning to really appreciate what my Dad must have gone through when he and my Mom divorced... sometime back in the mid-60's.

I'm probably in a different situation than many of you here.
I left a good civil service job with the DOD, to follow my wife around to her duty stations.
She was an officer in the Army.
I essentially quite working full-time when our child was born.
My wife's income was greater than mine.
I still took on part-time work, though.

So, now I'm at a job where I'm half-time hours.
That's all I can get.
I'm still the primary caregiver for our child and I really don't want her to have any more upheavels in her life at the moment.
I realize that it's high time I get back to working fulltime. I have to arrange for a new career though and that's a bit hard at 45.

I've been to the VUB (Veteran's Upward Bound) to get some advising on returning to college. Since I've worked mostly in the medical field, I figure on getting into the nursing program at HSU.
In the meantime, I've swallowed my pride and decided to ask for spousal support. I did work around home. I did put my paychecks into our bank account. I did provide care for our kid.
All I want is what might be due me for my part in a 17 year relationship.
This has been hard to face up to since I grew up believing the man works and the woman stays home. It's been quite an adjustment during all these years of staying home and working parttime.

Anyway, I guess I'm just blowing off steam here.

Thanks for everything, you guys.

As I said before, I still love the woman I married and wish her no harm.
I'm also very adamant about making sure our kid has both parents involved in her life and that the adults do not air their grievances out in front of her.

Matt C
04-17-2006, 10:26 PM
"When you are out there, are you going to ask: 'Sir, can you go into the darkened house and get your gun?'" said Los Angeles County sheriff's Sgt. Mike Torres. "Darn right it's dangerous."

Seems like a bad idea all around.

Mark in Eureka
04-18-2006, 12:10 AM
Sorry to hear of your troubles, and good luck.

accordingtoome
04-18-2006, 12:40 AM
wow that sucks man.. i feel for you. i have to go through some court shuff later this year for my daughter.. its gonna get messy too. :(

bg
04-18-2006, 1:44 AM
Once again, I'd like to thank you all for your comments.

I'm sorry to hear of some of the experiences you guys have gone through.
I have to say that I'm beginning to really appreciate what my Dad must have gone through when he and my Mom divorced... sometime back in the mid-60's.

I'm probably in a different situation than many of you here.
I left a good civil service job with the DOD, to follow my wife around to her duty stations.
She was an officer in the Army.
I essentially quite working full-time when our child was born.
My wife's income was greater than mine.
I still took on part-time work, though.

So, now I'm at a job where I'm half-time hours.
That's all I can get.
I'm still the primary caregiver for our child and I really don't want her to have any more upheavels in her life at the moment.
I realize that it's high time I get back to working fulltime. I have to arrange for a new career though and that's a bit hard at 45.

I've been to the VUB (Veteran's Upward Bound) to get some advising on returning to college. Since I've worked mostly in the medical field, I figure on getting into the nursing program at HSU.
In the meantime, I've swallowed my pride and decided to ask for spousal support. I did work around home. I did put my paychecks into our bank account. I did provide care for our kid.
All I want is what might be due me for my part in a 17 year relationship.
This has been hard to face up to since I grew up believing the man works and the woman stays home. It's been quite an adjustment during all these years of staying home and working parttime.

Anyway, I guess I'm just blowing off steam here.

Thanks for everything, you guys.

As I said before, I still love the woman I married and wish her no harm.
I'm also very adamant about making sure our kid has both parents involved in her life and that the adults do not air their grievances out in front of her.
You can do MUCH worse than the nursing career. I have
to stay home and take care of my last parent as she
needs 24/7 care. I've been through a lot with her
and have learned a LOT about the way a body starts
to come apart once age and strokes set in. When
we go to the hospital to have her cked out, I'm always
with her to help get her on the table or helping
the nurse, doctor x-ray techs, etc with her..

I don't know how many times I've been asked if I'd
want to come to work at Kaiser doing this. I've had
head nurses, PA's, social workers, doctors etc ask
me this. All they wanted was for me to get a CNA
cert and apply at Kaiser in Fontana. I've even
been given cards for reference. I'm past the 50
mark, and I'm still being asked..So if you're
really interested you should look at going
into nursing. It is a field that is begging for
good help with some crazy sign on bonus's if
you have the right certs and qualifications, as
well you know being in the medical field as you've
stated.

I'd say go for it bigtime. The sooner the better.
Things look dark right now, but once one sees
what shape some of the people are in at a hospital
like Kaiser's, things get into perspective pretty
darn quick. I've seen folks while waiting with my
parent for her rehab session that just want to make
ya shake your head and thank the Lord it isn't you.
Man o man. On the other hand it could be pretty darn
rewarding both in the wallet and one's conscience.
Nothing really feels as good as helping someone
who really needs it and you can provide it, even if
it's just for a lil bit of your time.

spaceburger
04-18-2006, 1:31 PM
Brass Balls is right about the lawyers only goal is to cash out. DO NOT INITIATE a Restraining Order. It automatically goes both ways and WILL be reviewd by the judge in 30 days. If there is no basis for it you could be in REAL TROUBLE. I will send you a PM, call me. Been there, done that, the court will respect your responsible gun ownership. Don't stress about that. Any marrige over 10 years in Kali is considered long term. If she was always the primary bread winnere...guess what...she owes you support even if you don't have tits. If fact you can be a downright transvestitie in Kali and have it NOT BE an issue in Child Custody. My sister's ex was a f%$^ cross dresser and he got 50/50. So worry not...just do not blow it!

VeryCoolCat
04-18-2006, 1:58 PM
If anti-gun politicians have taught us anything. Its that sometimes you need to lie to get everyone on your side.

If she brings up something that you said (the gun shoot yourself thing) that would work completely against you. DENY IT.

You never said it, never heard it. Unless theres more than 1 person who heard you say it. There is no proof, Word against Word.

DO NOT use the defense that they "are against you" because of guns.

Just say you own them in the legality of the law, are mentally competent to use them in a situation and safely keep them stored. Without any evidence to say otherwise, they CANNOT use that against you.


At the end the law usually sides with the wife unless you can find her in some kind of lie and the judge will have to disregard many if not all she said.

Since you do not have a steady income, she will be given priority also.

Don't get a restraining order or anything thereof as she/you can use that as an argument to say that their doing that to cause you grief and distress over no actual fear of endangerment. Then you can say shes lying to the law just to harass you.

spaceburger
04-18-2006, 2:05 PM
VeryCoolCat also has good advice. ...it never happened
while it may be too late to deny it again don't worry, you have NO HISTORY of doing it multiple times. One time in the heat of trying to chill things out, you were NEVER Abusive, Voilent, OR MADE ANY THREATS. Repeat the positive...sound like a broken record. Keep hitting the fact that you were the primary parent and a GOOD ONE AT THAT!

accordingtoome
04-18-2006, 8:56 PM
sell me all your guns for a $5.00 each and after the smoke clears i will sell them back to you. :D

11Z50
04-18-2006, 9:19 PM
Seriously, if you have a close bud that will do it, give him your guns until this blows over. Don't even let it be an issue.

Remember this: You are entitled to spousal support and you should not feel guilty about getting it. If you have joint custody, she may also owe you child support. There is a computer program in the PRK called "dissomaster" that the court uses. It caused me to pay my ex a buttload of money, so maybe it's a zen thing that your ex will pay you. Take it.

jerryg1776
04-18-2006, 10:55 PM
I had a friend who got divorced and he was the primary breadwinner. His wife received spousal support, child support and half of his retirement benefits since he was the main breadwinner. Also, because she did not have a "career" or employment which offered a retirement plan while his career did offer a retirement plan, she was entitled to a part of his pension when it became available to be drawn.

I am not one to give advice, and do not know your exact situation, but when listing all assets and community property, retirement benefits and pensions may be considered community property in the state of CA.

Check this out and never ever proceed without a divorce attorney. You would not take a knife to a gunfight, so why would you go through a divorce without an attorney. Especialy if she has retained one already!

http://www.pension-evaluators.com/CM/Custom/TOCFAQs.asp

Remember "Community Property State".

artherd
04-18-2006, 11:59 PM
But NOW, they'r a problem and potential threat to our child?

Lawyers always go for blood, guarentee your wife just said "oh, yeah, now that you ask he does have guns in the house." and her lawyer said "GREAT, WE CAN USE THAT TO GET HIM!"

ROs are standard attorney practice these days, astonishing and vomit-inducing, but true.

uglygun
04-19-2006, 4:18 AM
Strippers, the single life, and worst case scenario, sex dolls are looking better and better as a viable option these days.

I can't recall how many of these stories I have read on the web over the past couple years but it quite literally scares the hell out of me. A prenup would be the easiest thing but man I don't like the context of what it says about 2 people getting married if they both agree to it.

I want to believe marriage and the fact that two people who love eachother can live happily ever after. But I am growing to have a pretty dim view of things these days the more and more I read this crap.

LCAZES
04-19-2006, 7:33 AM
Lawyers always go for blood, guarentee your wife just said "oh, yeah, now that you ask he does have guns in the house." and her lawyer said "GREAT, WE CAN USE THAT TO GET HIM!"

ROs are standard attorney practice these days, astonishing and vomit-inducing, but true.

Boy is this a load of BS. Every attorney has his or her own personal style of practice. If you don't like yours, go and get a new one you can work with, and DONT discuss these issues in a public forum.

artherd
04-19-2006, 10:52 AM
Boy is this a load of BS. Every attorney has his or her own personal style of practice. If you don't like yours, go and get a new one you can work with, and DONT discuss these issues in a public forum.

You're telling me that:
A: Attorneys really don't 'go for blood' in any conflict they're involved in as a default?

B: Don't include ROs in divorce proceedings as part of the default paperwork?

Please provide evidence to the contrary, because my opinion is based on direct personal experience.

booknut
04-22-2006, 2:21 AM
Thanks again guys!

I'm not planning on taking out a restraining order.
I just want the police to know how things are going here at home, in case, she shows up one day trying to take out an RO.

I'm fixing to prepare some documents to prove my version of things, including copies of California's recommendations/regulations regarding firearm storage. It should be easy to show the court how safe I've been with my guns and ammo all these years.
I think I forgot to mention that I have also brought in the Eddie Eagle program to my daughter's elementary school several years ago.
The local P.D. borrowed my Eddie Eagle stuff also.

I am active in local gun clubs and shoots, I've been cleared by more than one state for a Concealed Carry Weapon, and I can document all of my formal firearm training. I like to stress how my training isn't all about shooting at targets, but other things like:when to shoot, when to not shoot, the moral and legal aspects of self-defense, and how to avoid situations where I might need a weapon. I can also show where these courses were taught by active and former law enforcement.

I'm not a Rambo(the Stallone version), I don't look like one, nor do I pretend to be one. I'm fairly clean-cut.

I really don't fear losing my firearms, although I know she might want to try it. I'm pretty sure I can mount a strong defense against any attempt.

As far as my attorney, she's been recommended to me by some people I trust (a couple of whom are divorced dad's too). She knows the system around here and seems reasonable (except for the $300/hr :eek: ). She's also the wife of the District Attorney, if that means anything.

We have more mediation to attend later on. Meanwhile, I have to take a day-long class about "Children and Divorce". My wife and I will also be seeing a family counselor next week.
Our daughter will be talking with someone from the court also. I don't know who it is or if we can be present (probably not), but I'll find out more from my attorney this coming week.

After having my girl for the last couple of days, I can tell you that she has a good head on her shoulders and I don't worry about anything she tells the court representative. I've been teaching our daughter about guns, their place in our lives, and why Disney and movies like, "Iron Giant" are completely WRONG about guns (if you haven't seen "Iron Giant", there is a part where the child character tells the robot, "Guns are BAD!". We had a little lecture right after that so my daughter could understand that guns are not bad... it's some of the people and how they use guns that's bad.).

I'm keeping a positive outlook on all this. So far, the court seems to be okay with me having custody of our child. I've got the Veteran's Upward Bound folks telling me they can do all sorts of things to help me get back into College. I've also got an employer who doesn't want to let me go, so hopefully I can pick up more hours as time goes by. They definitely will work with any school schedule I wind up with.

Other than my truck and it's faulty fuel sensor whatchamacallit, and my ever slimming bank account, LIFE'S GRAND!

Oh, and I got my .50BMG reg. card sent off on time!:D