PDA

View Full Version : Did this turn the girl off?


novabrian
05-31-2010, 7:50 PM
Ok so my buddy is 35 single and been wanting to get a gf to settle down with.
He got set up on a date with a girl about a month ago.He likes her and hes gone to lunch with once or twice and talks to her on the phone a bit.Tonight he was supposed to go to dinner with her and he texted her and said are we still going out tonight? She said yes.But in his second text to her he said "look I don't have a lot of money so it has to be somewhere kinda cheap" `(i'm paraphrasing). 20 minutes go buy and she returns the text and say I can't go my daughter isn't going with her dad after all.do you think that turned her off? Or she really just can't go.

Cokebottle
05-31-2010, 8:02 PM
Turned her off.

If you have a date planned, don't complain about not having money for it.
Either save for it, or better, plan the date within your budget and take her there without the disclaimer "this is all I could afford".
If she's happy with where they went, then she's happy. If she's not happy, then she's looking for someone out of his league (or maybe out of her league, but she'll discover that soon enough).

razorx
05-31-2010, 8:02 PM
that thar R funny :D

1st dinner date... paraphrase "no money, need to be cheap" txt message...

Yep, just a coincidence about the daughter not going with Dad.

He would have been better off sending a facebook invite, I think that is what the other thread concluded.

Could be paraphrasing though...

TKM
05-31-2010, 8:14 PM
Genius!

Good way to weed 'em out.

winnre
05-31-2010, 8:15 PM
She helped him save face.

Rob454
05-31-2010, 8:22 PM
I think your buddy needs to stop text talking a date. he should of just planned the date within his budget. if she is a normal woman she would understand and have no complaints. if she is a gold digging b***h then its good that your buddy found out early on.

PS why the hell are you posting in the ladies forum?

manuelcardenas77
05-31-2010, 8:24 PM
Genius!

Good way to weed 'em out.
LMAO! No s##t!

CSACANNONEER
05-31-2010, 8:24 PM
I think it was the second date (with my now wife) that she came over to my place, we cruised around on a Mule, picked wild blackberries and ended up eating nothing but the blackberries and some of a costco jar or cashews that I had. So, it is possible to take a girl out on a cheap date (how much cheaper can you get than having to forage for your dinner of nuts and berries?) and still end up marrying her. BTW, the wild walnuts on the property weren't ready so, we just had the cashews instead.

Cokebottle
05-31-2010, 8:30 PM
Ya... I once took a bar pickup to a motel and we went dutch.... but we both wanted exactly the same thing.

novabrian
05-31-2010, 8:31 PM
I think your buddy needs to stop text talking a date. he should of just planned the date within his budget. if she is a normal woman she would understand and have no complaints. if she is a gold digging b***h then its good that your buddy found out early on.

PS why the hell are you posting in the ladies forum?

I wanted a ladies perspective.I told him not to say anything to her about not being able to afford this or that.If he can't afford a nice restaurant he can't afford to date.

razorx
05-31-2010, 8:38 PM
...If he can't afford a nice restaurant he can't afford to date.

This, at least the first date anyway.

Didn't notice this was posted in the ladies forum before replying earlier so gracefully(?) bowing out...

Sajedene
05-31-2010, 8:38 PM
I find the whole concept of "weeding them out" works both ways.

As the girl, if I get a text message from a guy discussing finances prior to our first dinner date, especially a girl who has a child, who is most likely dating to settle down, why would I want to invest in a long-term relationship with someone who, at 35, still has financial concerns for a simple dinner date?

Now, for all we know she really had babysitting issues, but as others mentioned, plan the date within your means, yes. But no need to flaunt or stress your finances then and there either.

It's not gold digging to want someone who can meet your financial standards.

8bitnintendo
05-31-2010, 8:43 PM
Maybe something came up, maybe not. It's impossible to tell based on this, since sometimes problems really do come up. If she blows him off after this, it's more likely that she either doesn't like that he is broke or didn't like the weird way he brought it up. In future, it's probably better for him if he just picks his favorite dive bar or hole-in-the-wall restaurant. Then he looks like a guy who knows cool places to go.

I don't really understand the dating drama about money though.

Cokebottle
05-31-2010, 8:48 PM
And again.... define "someplace cheap"

Was he talking "I can't afford Ruth's Chris so is Teppan okay?"
Or was he talking Sizzler or Denny's?

novabrian
05-31-2010, 8:51 PM
And again.... define "someplace cheap"

Was he talking "I can't afford Ruth's Chris so is Teppan okay?"
Or was he talking Sizzler or Denny's?

That I can't say.Just the fact that he said something is bad enough.

OliveCookieMonsta
05-31-2010, 8:55 PM
I find the whole concept of "weeding them out" works both ways.

As the girl, if I get a text message from a guy discussing finances prior to our first dinner date, especially a girl who has a child, who is most likely dating to settle down, why would I want to invest in a long-term relationship with someone who, at 35, still has financial concerns for a simple dinner date?

Now, for all we know she really had babysitting issues, but as others mentioned, plan the date within your means, yes. But no need to flaunt or stress your finances then and there either.

It's not gold digging to want someone who can meet your financial standards.


YUP YUP I agree with the above, Who's says that? in a text, "look I don't have a lot of money so it has to be somewhere kinda cheap"??

And the "weeding out" comments? I'm no means a gold digger but I don't think I'd date a man that would say something weird like that. Yeah I have to say it was a turn off and she probably wont go out with him again.

It kinda goes with the whole, if he really liked me, he would try and impress me deal... Not pricey expensive restaurants but at least give an impression that it was something he has been planning or looking forward to also.

winnre
05-31-2010, 8:57 PM
That I can't say.Just the fact that he said something is bad enough.

Taco Bell, and "we go dutch, and I have a buy one get one free coupon so mine is free" is kinda cheap.

novabrian
05-31-2010, 9:04 PM
YUP YUP I agree with the above, Who's says that? in a text, "look I don't have a lot of money so it has to be somewhere kinda cheap"??

And the "weeding out" comments? I'm no means a gold digger but I don't think I'd date a man that would say something weird like that. Yeah I have to say it was a turn off and she probably wont go out with him again.

It kinda goes with the whole, if he really liked me, he would try and impress me deal... Not pricey expensive restaurants but at least give an impression that it was something he has been planning or looking forward to also.

Yes you are absolutely right.There were girls I liked and when I took them out I took them to nice places I couldn't afford.Put it on a credit card and paid it off later.I wanted to impress them and for them to know I liked them and they were worth more than the Denny's,McDonalds Etc.When you are courting you have to spend the money,not ridiculous amounts but more than just hanging out with bros.Also she might be thinking "F" this guy he can't spend a little money on me yet he is probably going to try to get into my pants like every other guy!

8bitnintendo
05-31-2010, 9:10 PM
Yes you are absolutely right.There were girls I liked and when I took them out I took them to nice places I couldn't afford.Put it on a credit card and paid it off later.I wanted to impress them and for them to know I liked them and they were worth more than the Denny's,McDonalds Etc.When you are courting you have to spend the money,not ridiculous amounts but more than just hanging out with bros.!
This just seems crazy to me. Why not just pick a place you like to eat that is inexpensive? Dennys and McDonalds suck, but there are lots of great places in major cities which are cheap but tasty. Your favorite local Mexican/Indian/Thai establishment or something... if you take somebody to a place which is cheap but delicious, you're letting them in on your secret.

aaronraby1
05-31-2010, 9:25 PM
I think it was the second date (with my now wife) that she came over to my place, we cruised around on a Mule, picked wild blackberries and ended up eating nothing but the blackberries and some of a costco jar or cashews that I had. So, it is possible to take a girl out on a cheap date (how much cheaper can you get than having to forage for your dinner of nuts and berries?) and still end up marrying her. BTW, the wild walnuts on the property weren't ready so, we just had the cashews instead.

mule rides and wild berries are a bit hard to find here in the city. haha.


also, for the original post, if the guy is paying then he should be the one dictating where to go. (within his price range.)

novabrian
05-31-2010, 9:25 PM
This just seems crazy to me. Why not just pick a place you like to eat that is inexpensive? Dennys and McDonalds suck, but there are lots of great places in major cities which are cheap but tasty. Your favorite local Mexican/Indian/Thai establishment or something... if you take somebody to a place which is cheap but delicious, you're letting them in on your secret.

I dunno what his plan was.I just got off the phone and he said "Oh well her canceling saved me $20 bucks" I don't where he planned on taking her for $10 each.I just laugh at him now.

Lyte-
05-31-2010, 9:30 PM
I think with the information you gave us it is impossible to tell.

Lyte-
05-31-2010, 9:31 PM
I dunno what his plan was.I just got off the phone and he said "Oh well her canceling saved me $20 bucks" I don't where he planned on taking her for $10 each.I just laugh at him now.

tell you friend next time to cook something and offer to do a picnic or something.

I don't know where he planned to eat for $10 on a date...

aaronraby1
05-31-2010, 9:31 PM
This just seems crazy to me. Why not just pick a place you like to eat that is inexpensive? Dennys and McDonalds suck, but there are lots of great places in major cities which are cheap but tasty. Your favorite local Mexican/Indian/Thai establishment or something... if you take somebody to a place which is cheap but delicious, you're letting them in on your secret.

i LOVEE thai!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

8bitnintendo
05-31-2010, 9:33 PM
i LOVEE thai!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Chicken panang and tom kha gai are among the best foods ever invented.

novabrian
05-31-2010, 9:33 PM
tell you friend next time to cook something and offer to do a picnic or something.

I don't know where he planned to eat for $10 on a date...

He can't cook to save his life.

winnre
05-31-2010, 9:34 PM
I dunno what his plan was.I just got off the phone and he said "Oh well her canceling saved me $20 bucks" I don't where he planned on taking her for $10 each.I just laugh at him now.


Well we can see where his priorities are. She is not worth $20 to him.

winnre
05-31-2010, 9:34 PM
He can't cook to save his life.

If I can force it into the microwave I can cook it!

Lyte-
05-31-2010, 9:41 PM
He can't cook to save his life.

then how does he feed his self?

Really I think she is the one who dodged the bullet not him. Your friend doesn't seem to be a great catch to me.

novabrian
05-31-2010, 9:53 PM
If I can force it into the microwave I can cook it!

That's his philosophy.If it fits through his car window or in his microwave he's good.

aaronraby1
05-31-2010, 9:59 PM
Chicken panang and tom kha gai are among the best foods ever invented.

its always called something different depending where you go. i go to this place in hollywood, i forget what its called but i get the mint chicken and glass noodles. mmmm!!

RogueSniper
05-31-2010, 9:59 PM
then how does he feed his self?

Really I think she is the one who dodged the bullet not him. Your friend doesn't seem to be a great catch to me.

^^^ This

My Cousin was the same way. All he could do was Campbell soup, rice, and toast. But, if you REALLY want that gal to settle down with, you WILL learn all sorts of skills. I think the first one he should learn is how to COMMUNICATE!!! :)

BTW, my Cousin learned to cook, still is single, but he bought a restaurant so he solved his problem in a more interesting way.

winnre
05-31-2010, 10:01 PM
That's his philosophy.If it fits through his car window or in his microwave he's good.

I don't mind that I do not cook. There are other positive attributes to consider. It sounds like, in this case, that not being able to cook is just a signal for not being able to be responsible for one's self.

novabrian
05-31-2010, 10:20 PM
I'm not going to try to help him anymore.You can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink!

gamma105
05-31-2010, 10:33 PM
there's another way.. ask the date:" what time are you having dinner?" if she says" 7 pm", then say, I'll pick you up at 8 :P

Flyin Brian
05-31-2010, 10:33 PM
There's a reason this guy is 35 and not able to date successfully.

Lyte-
05-31-2010, 10:44 PM
I'm not going to try to help him anymore.You can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink!

I agree

CSACANNONEER
06-01-2010, 8:08 AM
mule rides and wild berries are a bit hard to find here in the city. haha.


also, for the original post, if the guy is paying then he should be the one dictating where to go. (within his price range.)

Really? I was living 3 miles off the 101 in the Thousand Oaks area. I was using it as an example of using what you have instead of trying to buy you way into someone's heart. Oh yea, the Mule was a Kawasaki 4x4. There we no 4 legged mules on the property. We had gotten rid of the hourses and I did not have saddles for the 5 donkeys that were there. Of course, the alpacas and llamas would not have been strong enough to pack us around either. That's why we used the Mule.

As far as wild blackberries berries go, I have found them in and around EVERY city that I've worked in in socal. You just need to know where and how to find them. They can be hidden in paks, drainage areas, vacant lots, greenbelts, etc. Or, you can just tell yourself that there aren't any around.

No matter what you decide about collecting berries, you can always find a way to impress without spending much money. A picnic dinner in a park, at the beach, on a downtown rooftop, etc. If she's into the whole "save the planet" thing, you could take her out collecting cans, cash them in and buy dinner with the procedes. I realize this won't work for most women though. The more creative you get, the less you'll HAVE TO spend.

OliveCookieMonsta
06-01-2010, 9:32 AM
+++1 on creativity and thoughtfulness CSACANNONEER.

Lyte-
06-01-2010, 9:36 AM
Really? I was living 3 miles off the 101 in the Thousand Oaks area. I was using it as an example of using what you have instead of trying to buy you way into someone's heart. Oh yea, the Mule was a Kawasaki 4x4. There we no 4 legged mules on the property. We had gotten rid of the hourses and I did not have saddles for the 5 donkeys that were there. Of course, the alpacas and llamas would not have been strong enough to pack us around either. That's why we used the Mule.

As far as wild blackberries berries go, I have found them in and around EVERY city that I've worked in in socal. You just need to know where and how to find them. They can be hidden in paks, drainage areas, vacant lots, greenbelts, etc. Or, you can just tell yourself that there aren't any around.

No matter what you decide about collecting berries, you can always find a way to impress without spending much money. A picnic dinner in a park, at the beach, on a downtown rooftop, etc. If she's into the whole "save the planet" thing, you could take her out collecting cans, cash them in and buy dinner with the procedes. I realize this won't work for most women though. The more creative you get, the less you'll HAVE TO spend.

THIS

great advice.

professionalcoyotehunter
06-01-2010, 9:37 AM
Probably a blessing knowing how she is this early in the relationship.

darkest2000
06-01-2010, 9:43 AM
There's a reason this guy is 35 and not able to date successfully.

That's exactly what I was thinking. People are their own worst enemies.

DVSmith
06-01-2010, 9:49 AM
Your friend is just being himself. If that kills the deal with her, that is what dating is all about. If it wasn't this, it would have been the next date. Tell him to re-bait his line and throw it back in.

caoboy
06-01-2010, 10:18 AM
Damn, my GF was lucky then...My first date with her was to the MB Aquarium, lunch at Archie's, got lost driving around PG, hung out at the beach, then went home.

Second date was to Santa Cruz Beach Boardwalk, I hate riding roller coasters, but I did anyways, then we went home.

Keep in mind, I live about 2.5 hours from each place.

Your friend being cheap will not land him a date except with another cheap person that only eats fast food. How many keepers do you see like that?

Also...tell him if he gets a cook book, or freakin' food network, he can make some BOMB meals for ~20 bucks. That, combined with a movie, will seal the deal if he keeps his dwelling clean.

Also..cooking for himself will save him a bunch of fricken money if he knows how to budget/meal plan.

professionalcoyotehunter
06-01-2010, 10:20 AM
You spoiled her too soon. Now what do you do since you are broke.:D

CSACANNONEER
06-01-2010, 10:32 AM
Damn, my GF was lucky then...My first date with her was to the MB Aquarium, lunch at Archie's, got lost driving around PG, hung out at the beach, then went home.

Second date was to Santa Cruz Beach Boardwalk, I hate riding roller coasters, but I did anyways, then we went home.

Keep in mind, I live about 2.5 hours from each place.

Your friend being cheap will not land him a date except with another cheap person that only eats fast food. How many keepers do you see like that?

Also...tell him if he gets a cook book, or freakin' food network, he can make some BOMB meals for ~20 bucks. That, combined with a movie, will seal the deal if he keeps his dwelling clean.

Also..cooking for himself will save him a bunch of fricken money if he knows how to budget/meal plan.

Dude, you may like to go on long and expensive first and second dates but, many people don't. Think about it, I married the girl who's second date with me was foraging for nuts and berries. I took other girls out on very expensive first dates and never spoke with them again. Looking back on it, I should have just gone to those Laker's play off games by myself instead of wasting them on girls I didn't know. I would have gotten more from the extra room of an empty FLOOR seat than the gold diggers that ended up going with me. I'm pretty sure that they assumed that I had paid thousands for the tickets when, in fact, I used to get floor seats for FREE. I found it funny that the gold diggers got turned off when they found out that I did not spend a fortune on them. It was a total waste of seats that were going for thousands of dollars. Expensive dates and the girls that need them suck (and not in a good way).



Lyte-,

Too bad I didn't know you back then. Knowing you and your personality, I would have taken you to every game I had tickets to even if it was only as a friend. Oh well, too late now. No more tickets, I met someone else and so did you.

gabe123
06-01-2010, 12:07 PM
then how does he feed his self?

Really I think she is the one who dodged the bullet not him. Your friend doesn't seem to be a great catch to me.

McDonald's happy meal ?

Steyrlp10
06-01-2010, 12:39 PM
1. It's amusing how many male Calgunners post in the Ladies' Forum. I think it's very interesting to get the male side of things.

2. The OP's friend is a perfect example of Natural Selection.

I agree with the rest of the gals.

For me, it's not how much money is expended on a date, but the thought and consideration that goes into it. A man who goes to the trouble of making the outing fun and creative is someone I'd like to see again. The guy who has one dimensional thinking needs to take an honest look at himself and figure out why he's having social problems.

The other thing I noticed was that if the girl already has a child, she definitely doesn't need to babysit a grown man. She needs a guy to be independent and resourceful.

Saym14
06-01-2010, 12:52 PM
just tell her you spent all your $$ on ammo - that would clear things up - not! :)

caoboy
06-01-2010, 12:57 PM
Cannon, those dates weren't expensive heheheh... Got free passes to the aquarium, and the boardwalk was no more than $50. That is a much better date than eating applebees and a movie, you'd be out 70 easy.

After that we started hanging out with family, and it was a done deal.

And, if the op's friend would learn to cook, he could have a good date on the cheap side if he cooked and had a redbox DVD ready to go.

It really isn't about money anyway, it's the creativity/effort u put into it that'll win them over.

CSACANNONEER
06-01-2010, 1:00 PM
Cannon, those dates weren't expensive heheheh... Got free passes to the aquarium, and the boardwalk was no more than $50. That is a much better date than eating applebees and a movie, you'd be out 70 easy.

After that we started hanging out with family, and it was a done deal.

And, if the op's friend would learn to cook, he could have a good date on the cheap side if he cooked and had a redbox DVD ready to go.

It really isn't about money anyway, it's the creativity/effort u put into it that'll win them over.

AWESOME!

five.five-six
06-01-2010, 1:02 PM
I'm not going to try to help him anymore.You can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink!

wait, your buddys with Neil IRL???

masameet
06-01-2010, 1:05 PM
Ok so my buddy is 35 single and been wanting to get a gf to settle down with.
He got set up on a date with a girl about a month ago.He likes her and hes gone to lunch with once or twice and talks to her on the phone a bit.Tonight he was supposed to go to dinner with her and he texted her and said are we still going out tonight? She said yes.But in his second text to her he said "look I don't have a lot of money so it has to be somewhere kinda cheap" `(i'm paraphrasing). 20 minutes go buy and she returns the text and say I can't go my daughter isn't going with her dad after all.do you think that turned her off? Or she really just can't go.

You're asking the wrong people. You should have called up his date and asked her if she was free to go out for tacos that same night. lol

Look. None of us can read anybody's minds. And having a few dates with somebody can never really reveal the depth of a person's honesty. Since your friend cannot gauge that gal's honesty -- even via text messaging -- well, then he doesn't need her.

five.five-six
06-01-2010, 1:08 PM
Cannon, those dates weren't expensive heheheh... Got free passes to the aquarium, and the boardwalk was no more than $50. That is a much better date than eating applebees and a movie, you'd be out 70 easy.



last date I paid for I didn't even get to go, it was my wife, my 5 year old and the dentist, and I 'm out $900, dang kid won't brush his teeth

IMO, OP's buddy's ex-Chicky is on the right track..... why would she want to settle down with a guy who if financially S.N.A.F.U.? if she is looking to settle down heself, she should limit herself to good providers......what else should she be looking for in a man?

Lyte-
06-01-2010, 4:03 PM
Dude, you may like to go on long and expensive first and second dates but, many people don't. Think about it, I married the girl who's second date with me was foraging for nuts and berries. I took other girls out on very expensive first dates and never spoke with them again. Looking back on it, I should have just gone to those Laker's play off games by myself instead of wasting them on girls I didn't know. I would have gotten more from the extra room of an empty FLOOR seat than the gold diggers that ended up going with me. I'm pretty sure that they assumed that I had paid thousands for the tickets when, in fact, I used to get floor seats for FREE. I found it funny that the gold diggers got turned off when they found out that I did not spend a fortune on them. It was a total waste of seats that were going for thousands of dollars. Expensive dates and the girls that need them suck (and not in a good way).



Lyte-,

Too bad I didn't know you back then. Knowing you and your personality, I would have taken you to every game I had tickets to even if it was only as a friend. Oh well, too late now. No more tickets, I met someone else and so did you.

Hahah a dollar short and a day late right haha! Sux for me Ive never been to a live lakers game, I don't want to spend the money on the tickets.

Lyte-
06-01-2010, 4:06 PM
1. It's amusing how many male Calgunners post in the Ladies' Forum. I think it's very interesting to get the male side of things.

2. The OP's friend is a perfect example of Natural Selection.

I agree with the rest of the gals.

For me, it's not how much money is expended on a date, but the thought and consideration that goes into it. A man who goes to the trouble of making the outing fun and creative is someone I'd like to see again. The guy who has one dimensional thinking needs to take an honest look at himself and figure out why he's having social problems.

The other thing I noticed was that if the girl already has a child, she definitely doesn't need to babysit a grown man. She needs a guy to be independent and resourceful.


To Add to this I do not have any children and I also do not want to be babysitting a grown man, in fact nothing is more of a turn off when a man does not behave like one.

Charlie50
06-01-2010, 4:11 PM
Look at it this way if this guy can't afford a nice dinner with the possible love of his life/mother of his six children why in the hell is he dating? Yeah I know why... But if the intent is to find a lifetime partner, he ain't got his house in order. Women need security, its in the DNA its not about material wealth. The gorilla with the biggest and best bannas get the best, even if he looks like a monkey. Young Studs ya listening! Any male can impregnate but it takes a bit more than that to be a Man.

8bitnintendo
06-01-2010, 4:40 PM
To Add to this I do not have any children and I also do not want to be babysitting a grown man, in fact nothing is more of a turn off when a man does not behave like one.
+1. If I want to have to take care of a hapless, helpless creature I will buy a dog. ;)

Lyte-
06-01-2010, 5:32 PM
+1. If I want to have to take care of a hapless, helpless creature I will buy a dog. ;)

My dogs are not nearly as hapless and helpless as some men I have run into recently! (to my dogs credit of course)

doubledgarage
06-01-2010, 5:41 PM
wow! i usually wouldn't post in the ladies section but the thread title caught my eye. i agree with the other people posting that you should be dating someone that can live comfortably [relative to age]. when you're 35, you should be able to take a date out somewhere nice without being concerned about not being able to afford it.

and even if you're broke, there are ways of taking her out to somewhere nice on a budget. instead of taking her to a fancy restaurant, you can take her out to a hole-in-the-wall restaurant serving some cuisine she has never tried. or, invite her over to your house and cook. i suck at cooking but i can make a pretty good steak. most guys should be able to grill and cook a good steak, lol.

CSACANNONEER
06-01-2010, 5:54 PM
Hahah a dollar short and a day late right haha! Sux for me Ive never been to a live lakers game, I don't want to spend the money on the tickets.

If I ever am offered them again, and my wife can't make it, I'll let you know. BTW, they come with reserved parking directly across from the entrance.

bden
06-01-2010, 6:01 PM
I'm probably a moron in a lot of trouble for saying this :o, but I think it might be unwise to be that honest with a woman before marriage. And even then it's a little iffy. :43:

9mmepiphany
06-01-2010, 6:25 PM
Ok so my buddy is 35 single and been wanting to get a gf to settle down with.
He got set up on a date with a girl about a month ago.He likes her and hes gone to lunch with once or twice and talks to her on the phone a bit.Tonight he was supposed to go to dinner with her and he texted her and said are we still going out tonight? She said yes.But in his second text to her he said "look I don't have a lot of money so it has to be somewhere kinda cheap" `(i'm paraphrasing). 20 minutes go buy and she returns the text and say I can't go my daughter isn't going with her dad after all.do you think that turned her off? Or she really just can't go.

this can be taken as either:
1. "i'm cheap"
2. "you're too expensive"
3. " you're not worth the money"

none are good. what your friend is saying is that he has looked at the cost benefit and chosen to spend less than he thinks he should...otherwise he wouldn't have to ask for permission to go somewhere cheap.

that he can't see this is the reason he isn't in a relationship

9mmepiphany
06-01-2010, 6:27 PM
I'm probably a moron in a lot of trouble for saying this :o, but I think it might be unwise to be that honest with a woman before marriage. And even then it's a little iffy. :43:

so you advocate lying, prior to marriage? better keep the name of a good Family Law lawyer handy

armedoffroader
06-01-2010, 7:16 PM
HAHA "your friend" shouldnt admit he's broke right off the bat. They'll catch on when he stays over the first night, and for 2 weeks straight, or when he tells her malt-o-meal cereal, Tina's burritos and Jenos pizzas are his favorite foods. Yes, Im speaking from experience :D

armedoffroader
06-01-2010, 7:19 PM
Great advice I got from my old man neighbor about women when I was a kid, "If you dont have alot of money, dont talk about it; if you do have alot of money, dont talk about it"

OliveCookieMonsta
06-01-2010, 7:30 PM
Lol... I agree with armedoffroader!

Sometimes being too honest back fires on ya!

... "don't talk about it!" rich or poor.

The Fugitive
06-01-2010, 8:09 PM
Why is your friend broke? If you want to keep that private I can understand. I'm far from 35 but I can understand it sucks being single. But now he just made it more awkward if he wanted to ask her out next time around. When you talk to your friend, ask him if he is really serious about this girl. Reason being is she has a kid and he is broke. Not saying things will never work out but if it did it won't or might not last long. So don't waste your time and her time. She has a kid that needs a father.

Probably the only advice I got for him, just move on and get your priorities straight for now. You'll find that single chick that will love you regardless how much you make or what car you drive. Just don't push your luck being broke all the time she won't be around for long.

bden
06-01-2010, 8:17 PM
so you advocate lying, prior to marriage? better keep the name of a good Family Law lawyer handy

No, no it's more like this...

Lol... I agree with armedoffroader!

Sometimes being too honest back fires on ya!

My wife is actually pretty awesome so I never have to lie for her, but I was just guessing based on the OP's story that his buddy might be dealing with someone a little different. Hell, our first date was going Christmas shopping at Sears. I took her out to dinner later that night, but that's only because the shopping went well. ;)

targetarcher
06-01-2010, 8:22 PM
Good food is not always expensive.

1 lb Ahi steaks- $4.70/lb (get two ~8oz steaks, frozen section)
Bag of baby arugula- $2-3ish, IIRC
Avocado- $1
Lemon and a lime- little under $1
Splash of olive oil, lemon pepper, black pepper, bit of salt- let's say $1
Looks like this (check out that surf n' turf! Note- that's mashed potatoes, not the polenta down below)-
http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_V6jYtviIprM/S80inVHUqoI/AAAAAAAAAAk/HwCzyewLHrs/s320/IMGP8774.PEF.jpg
Recipe here- http://cosiminioutdoors.blogspot.com/2010/04/james-tuna-salad.html

Bread flour, salt, yeast, water- $1 max for a few loaves. You'll only need one.
Google "no-knead bread," you'll find some recipes.

Polenta (coarse ground corn meal), pinch of salt- $.50
Get some good Roquefort if everyone likes blue cheese, otherwise salt, pepper, olive oil, butter. Goes great with some nice umami flavors. $2 (let's say one ounce of really good cheese per person)

Alright, so we're up to around $15 so far, including stuff that should be in your pantry already (obviously you shouldn't be buying $1.00 worth of flour- get a 50 lb bag for the price of three 5 pound bags!)

With the remaining $5, get a nice bomber (22oz) of some good beer. Lagunitas "Gnarlywine" went great with the "tuna salad," and was about $4.50-5.00.

Q.E.D.

So, how's that for spending $20? Also, Trader Joes carries everything noted above aside from the beer (but they've got some other good stuff). I wouldn't buy the flour there; again that's something to buy in bulk.

Lyte-
06-01-2010, 8:53 PM
If I ever am offered them again, and my wife can't make it, I'll let you know. BTW, they come with reserved parking directly across from the entrance.

so then your picking me up :p

five.five-six
06-02-2010, 12:00 AM
I'm probably a moron in a lot of trouble for saying this :o, but I think it might be unwise to be that honest with a woman before marriage. And even then it's a little iffy. :43:

QFT

mif_slim
06-02-2010, 10:03 AM
You dont have to take a girl out to a expensive dinner....I took my now wife to McD's! LOL. Not that it was planned, NC just didnt have a lot of places to eat. When we got married our first "date" together though I dropped 188 bucks for the two of us at this 4 star resturant! haha...thinking about it, thats ~10lbs of gun powder or 7k of primers or 2400 bullets... haha..jk.

evidens83
06-02-2010, 11:03 AM
LMAO

Rekrab
06-02-2010, 1:56 PM
Can't cook? CAN'T COOK?!?!

Your friend needs to learn to cook. Go get a copy of "The Joy of Cooking" for your friend or have him check out Tastespotting.com until he finds something he likes.

Every man should have 2-3 dishes he can cook extremely well. After he masters a main course, he should focus on sides. Failure to do this is like not knowing how to have sex. This guy has deeper problems than being lonely. You want a great girl, you'll need to put in great effort. That includes learning how to cook and maintain a healthy lifestyle.

Also, for future reference, if money is an issue for a guy, he should suggest a place he knows is affordable before the date.

edsel6502
06-02-2010, 2:47 PM
Date 1 - Costco Free Samples
Date 2 - Costco Food court
Date 3 - French Laundry (Since she stuck around that long)

;)

Sionadi
06-23-2010, 9:12 PM
Most of the dates with my now fiance were cheap, but fun, romantic, and got me to where i am now.

The first date was lunch at a hole in the wall bbq place in town, then we went to a movie.

The second date was going to the local rodeo then we went fishing/had a picnic.

The third date was a horseback ride around the property.

The fourth was a trip to the ocean and double date deep sea fishing trip with a friend.

I dont think i spent more than 200 dollars on a date.

slick_711
06-23-2010, 10:41 PM
Wow, OP, your friend is single for a reason. I'm sorry that sounds mean, and hey, I'm single too... but I'm single because I'm too shy to approach a woman; not because I'm too stupid to properly plan a date.

CSACannoneer and the other people that have posted have mentioned a lot of great ideas for inexpensive dates; the main thing, as they said, is to put thought and effort into it. The money doesn't matter. Please tell your friend that. ;)