View Full Version : The Absurdity of Current Laws

01-27-2010, 8:37 AM
(No, this is not a real bill. I was just trying to come up with a good metaphor/story to explain current gun laws to friends, and I came up with this, and thought you all might enjoy it as well :) )

“In response to escalated identity theft and piracy due to easily purchased ‘computers of advanced capability’ and reckless high speed internet, Congress has proposed a bill to limit the speed of internet access to 300kb/s, and for computers to exceed no more than two of the following ‘advanced’ features: 100gb hard drive, 2 gigs of ram, ‘standard size’ graphics cards (size limitations yet to be determined), a single 2x dvd burner, a single 4x cd burner, a single monitor of no more than 17”, a wireless mouse, and a wireless keyboard. In addition, only new computers that are placed on the ‘safe computer list’ may be purchased.

While a permit will be issued to those who show reasonable cause (reasonable cause will be determined later) for owning such powerful equipment (background check required before issuance), most people will have to comply with the new regulations.

Once this law goes into effect, the populace will have 30 days to register their existing components. However, if those components eventually malfunction, break, are damaged, or do not work in any way, one will not be able to replace those parts with the same components of the same specs, unless all other components not within the law are removed or replaced with complying components. All computers must have special programs installed, as well as finger print recognition login, to verify the registered owner is the one in use, and to verify that no illegal activity is in progress. All actions will be recorded, and become part of your personal record.

Additional aspects of the new bill contain sections with terms of use. Laptops will not be able to be used outside of the home for more than 2 hours per day, and only at legal venues. Internet access will be granted for 2 hours per day, and if one needs longer than this, they must contact their local Police Department to be granted additional time (not to exceed 1 additional hour).

‘Computers of advanced capability’, as they are now being coined, will also be allowed at publicly traded businesses, but are not to leave the business property, and are only permitted to be used in accordance with legal business activity.

Permanently banned items, such as ‘high capacity’ hard drives of more than 200gb, detachable ‘external hard drives’, and ‘enhanced view’ monitors of more than 19”, must be turned into law enforcement offices within 60 days after the law takes effect.

This bill is sure to have a profound affect in eliminating identity theft, and piracy. By limiting access to these evil machines, the public will no longer have to worry about their identity being stolen, and companies will no longer need to worry about illegal copyright violations.

Opponents to this bill claim that this will only cause law abiding citizens to be punished, and claim it will do next to nothing to hinder identity theft and piracy, because components can be purchased individually, or sold on the black market from previously owned ‘legal’ machines. They propose stronger enforcement of the current laws against identity theft and piracy, and holding more strict restrictions to those committed of the crimes. These claims hold no bearing, and those who oppose this new bill were probably involved in these horrible crimes in the first place.

This bill will pass the Senate within the next 2 weeks, and head for the House where no delay is expected. Welcome to the new Land of the Free!”

01-27-2010, 8:41 AM
Well done and only your 5th post. Just about sums things up with the way our elective representatives think.

Super Spy
01-27-2010, 10:10 AM
Nailed It!

Welcome to CalGuns!

01-27-2010, 10:35 AM
Does abridged and infringed mean the same thing? Nice work.

01-27-2010, 2:37 PM
Good job but you forgot the complete exemption clause for sworn peace officers from the large capacity and detachable hard drives....Only sworn peace officers should have those.

01-27-2010, 3:11 PM
Oh, yes, of course. And politicians. Yes, peace officers, politicians.

Also, if you even attempt to get a permit, you'll just be looked down upon, and they'll try to convince you that only criminals would need that stuff. Not that you'd be approved anyways.

I mean, what lawful reason could you need a high capacity hard drive other than to pirate dvds. What lawful reason could you need high speed internet other than to steal people's identities?

Syntax Error
01-27-2010, 3:19 PM
You forgot the 10 day waiting period for buying a computer. Who knows what people would do impulsively if they were allowed to buy a computer and carry it out the same day? They might immediately start committing crimes with it!

Milsurp Collector
01-27-2010, 3:29 PM
Who knows what people would do impulsively if they were allowed to buy a computer and carry it out the same day? They might immediately start committing crimes with it!

Or downloading porn! :eek:

01-27-2010, 3:30 PM
They have been treating us like this for a long time. Welcome to California.

01-28-2010, 7:55 AM
Oh, I've been in Cali for 26 years. Born and raised. I'm just a little newer to guns, which has opened up a whole world of basic human rights infringements which I had no idea about.

01-28-2010, 8:28 AM
Good one, made me think you could draw even better parallels to automobiles. They should limit horse power except for those with a special license(So police can catch up to criminals more easily). Lower capacity on gas tanks (so high speed pursuits will be shortened). Make illegal cars that can go over the maximum speed limit in that state(70mph in California).

Cars kill more people than guns, and after all driving is a privilege, not a right.

01-28-2010, 8:38 AM
This has almost started with the implementation of OnStar. They can have the car shut down remotely when police are chasing it.

Kind of scary, in that, say there were some major disaster, but they didn't want to have people evacuate. They could just remotely disable all the cars. Doesn't seem too far fetched to me.

In and of itself, OnStar and things like it, might be a great thing, but when the government get involved in any way, it turns into just another way to control the population.