PDA

View Full Version : Returning from Country


n2k
08-21-2009, 8:12 AM
I first just wanted to thank all who have served our country....your actions are honorable and appreciated. :patriot:


My brother in law just returned from a deployment in Afghanistan and I am trying to determine what the best way to discuss things with him.

I know that there is a certain amount of time need to adapt to the current environment. Does anybody have any personal recommendations on how to approach a returning soldier?

Thanks

JerryM
08-21-2009, 4:50 PM
In regards to what? What would you like to discuss?

If you are curious as to his experiences, then you can just ask.

Give him time to hang out with his immediate family to decompress, and then just invite him to do an activity you know he likes.

As far as in depth questioning to his actual stressful events, he will either talk or not.

All of this of course, varies from person to person, and the type of relationship shared.

If he was stationed at Bagram Airbase, ask him about the massage parlor (^_^)!!!

6172crew
08-21-2009, 10:17 PM
I first just wanted to thank all who have served our country....your actions are honorable and appreciated. :patriot:


My brother in law just returned from a deployment in Afghanistan and I am trying to determine what the best way to discuss things with him.

I know that there is a certain amount of time need to adapt to the current environment. Does anybody have any personal recommendations on how to approach a returning soldier?

Thanks
Invite to a BBQ! Tell your neighbors you have a GI coming over and your going to play some music and BBQ. If he feels relaxed and there is no threat he will probably answer some of your questions.

I had some issues when I was around folks but when the little ones were having fun and the BBQ and beers were going I was able to relax and tell everyone what I saw in Somalia(which wasnt much);).

Funny thing is my Bro-inlaw has 2 tours in Iraq and is now on the Marine Rifle Team but hasnt spoken of anything to me. I just make sure he has a good laugh and a few beers before he goes home. Its up to him whether or not he needs/wants to tell me something.

Soldier415
08-21-2009, 10:42 PM
I first just wanted to thank all who have served our country....your actions are honorable and appreciated. :patriot:


My brother in law just returned from a deployment in Afghanistan and I am trying to determine what the best way to discuss things with him.

I know that there is a certain amount of time need to adapt to the current environment. Does anybody have any personal recommendations on how to approach a returning soldier?

Thanks
Good advice already given in this thread.

Some things to avoid (obviously) is asking about if he killed people or how many, as well as specifics about combat.

When he is ready he may or may not discuss them with you.

n2k
08-21-2009, 10:43 PM
Thank you all for your responses.

We are definitely celebrating his return.

I think, in knowing what he did out there, my curiosity about the details and the tools he used was my main topic of conversation. I am sure in time if he decides to delve in then great.

For now its family, beers and good times all around.

Lost
08-22-2009, 1:04 AM
Ask once when you feel he is comfortable. If he talks, cool. If not, don't push the subject anymore. He'll know what you are curious about and may or may not come back to it later. He may be more willing to talk about the tools than the details of his missions.

11Z50
08-22-2009, 5:03 AM
Nobody comes back the same, it's just the way it is. My advice is to apply no pressures and just let the vet come back into the world at home at his/her own pace.

Many resources are available to help....start out with militaryonesource.com

JerryM
08-22-2009, 2:38 PM
I just pray that your in-law does not need to see the VA for anything.

OMG it is very, very pathetic. If he needs mental health, I recommend he goes to see a civilian practitioner for the initial evaluation.

mountaindweller
08-22-2009, 5:33 PM
I first just wanted to thank all who have served our country....your actions are honorable and appreciated. :patriot:


My brother in law just returned from a deployment in Afghanistan and I am trying to determine what the best way to discuss things with him.

I know that there is a certain amount of time need to adapt to the current environment. Does anybody have any personal recommendations on how to approach a returning soldier?

Thanks

Just be real...yourself....genuine, don't act awkward...there is no reason too, there is nothing wrong with him. His business is his business, he don't have to discuss it with anyone nor should he feel pressured to do so. He'll bring stuff up on his own time when and if he is ready.

n2k
08-22-2009, 5:56 PM
Well the beers are flowing and the stories are coming. :)

All is well.

Thanks again for the input.

JerryM
08-22-2009, 9:45 PM
Give that man a hug from me. A manly warrior to warrior hug, nothing weird please. (^_^)