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capo
05-07-2009, 2:24 PM
So...I want to go active. Right now I am a Recruiting NCO in the California State Military Reserve, and I can't get enough of the uniform, the people, the camaraderie, the brotherhood, the mission, etc. My calling is military / law enforcement. Right now, LE is a complete pain in the *** because everyone and their mother are testing for the same one open slot.

I told my wife that if I am not picked up by an agency by 2011, I'm going active.

That didn't go over very well, naturally. It was hard enough convincing her that I would not be deployed outside of the state with the CSMR. Of course, I am an adrenaline junky and want to get some though.

She's cool, though. Every time I come home with a new gun, she doesn't say anything. I came home with a Mercedes one day, not one word. I came home with a Porsche one day, not one word. I came home with a GSX-R one day, not one word. One mention of going active duty and "I'll leave you" comes out. Hahahahahhahaha.

I get it, though...we have a two year old beautiful daughter, and it's kind of a dick move on them because at this point it is entirely personal and somewhat selfish. But still...I don't think I can say no to it. I don't know if I will get picked up by an agency. But I HAVE TO do one or the other.

So you married fathers out there...how'd you do it?

what2be
05-07-2009, 2:59 PM
So...I want to go active. Right now I am a Recruiting NCO in the California State Military Reserve, and I can't get enough of the uniform, the people, the camaraderie, the brotherhood, the mission, etc. My calling is military / law enforcement. Right now, LE is a complete pain in the *** because everyone and their mother are testing for the same one open slot.

I told my wife that if I am not picked up by an agency by 2011, I'm going active.

That didn't go over very well, naturally. It was hard enough convincing her that I would not be deployed outside of the state with the CSMR. Of course, I am an adrenaline junky and want to get some though.

She's cool, though. Every time I come home with a new gun, she doesn't say anything. I came home with a Mercedes one day, not one word. I came home with a Porsche one day, not one word. I came home with a GSX-R one day, not one word. One mention of going active duty and "I'll leave you" comes out. Hahahahahhahaha.

I get it, though...we have a two year old beautiful daughter, and it's kind of a dick move on them because at this point it is entirely personal and somewhat selfish. But still...I don't think I can say no to it. I don't know if I will get picked up by an agency. But I HAVE TO do one or the other.

So you married fathers out there...how'd you do it?


Dude, stevie wonder can see the writing on this wall.

You can convince her with sweet talk and BS all day long, but I guarantee if you go active, your marriage is going bye bye. She will be dong'ing some other dude within 6 months, tops. The majority of women are co dependant by nature and if you arent there to give them the attention they need they will either find it on their own or leave your *** and find it somewhere else.
end of story.

MustangO4
05-07-2009, 3:23 PM
I don't think your situation sounds like someone that should be making that jump right now. Enjoy your kid's youth, enjoy your reserve time and stay married. It isn't for everyone and I think you missed your window of opprotunity

CavTrooper
05-07-2009, 4:18 PM
Your daughter will always be your daughter, you have to support her the best you can. If that means going AD, then so be it.

Wifes come and go, if she cant deal with it then kick her to the curb.

joeyriv
05-07-2009, 4:25 PM
Or just remind her that "The Chosen One" promised to pull everyone out within a couple of years. 2011 might be safe to go AD... from her perspective

Desert_Rat
05-07-2009, 6:04 PM
I went to Her and said "Look here woman! I joined the Corps. and that's that.I don't want any lip over it." We weren't married at the time,but got hitched on leave from boot camp.That all happened in 1994.While we were both still in H.S. We are still married.It was tough but we pulled it off.

Jicko
05-07-2009, 6:05 PM
For every dollar that i get to spend on my hobby, she get to use a dollar on whatever she wants..... baby clothes, toys, her accessories, etc... I consider them my toy-tax....

Manong0369
05-07-2009, 6:43 PM
I went to Her and said "Look here woman! I joined the Corps. and that's that.I don't want any lip over it." We weren't married at the time,but got hitched on leave from boot camp.That all happened in 1994.While we were both still in H.S. We are still married.It was tough but we pulled it off.

What, you mean she wasn't issued?:rolleyes: OP, I've been married to my wife for 17 years and those were while I was in the active duty military. She's been through numerous deployments and training excercises and we're doing great. I trust her as she trust me. Your wife just wants you to be around for her and you daughter, so you can't blame her. I totally understand your need to wear the uniform 24/7, but you need to make sure that your wife is 110% behind your decision. You may want to wait a little longer to see if you do get picked up by an agency. If not than you can press the issue of going active, but for now, just enjoy your time with your family.

StraightShooter
05-07-2009, 6:43 PM
For every dollar that i get to spend on my hobby, she get to use a dollar on whatever she wants..... baby clothes, toys, her accessories, etc... I consider them my toy-tax....


Dang, a 100% toy tax is harsh. I dont know if i could handle that.

sk1
05-07-2009, 6:44 PM
just wondering if anyone can give me some good insight. i have been thinking about joining the military since i was a kid im about to turn 22 and i feel like my window is closing, i want to join but i feel like something is holding me back. any coments or advice?????

Desert_Rat
05-07-2009, 8:28 PM
just wondering if anyone can give me some good insight. i have been thinking about joining the military since i was a kid im about to turn 22 and i feel like my window is closing, i want to join but i feel like something is holding me back. any coments or advice?????

Only thing I'll say is.Take your time.Talk to every branch that interests you.I'm partial to the Corps. But thats just me.We're talking about you. there are a few recruiters here I'm sure they'll chime in soon.Any idea what could be "holding you back"?
This is going to sound corny,but I knew I was going to be a Marine when I was in grade school and saw Ollie North standing tall in front of congress in his service Alpha uniform.He was slaying the congressmen (verbally) when they said stoopid things.His answers and demeanor impacted me enough to say I wanna do what he does.So,I did it.at age 17

thebloodsonthewall
05-09-2009, 4:35 PM
just wondering if anyone can give me some good insight. i have been thinking about joining the military since i was a kid im about to turn 22 and i feel like my window is closing, i want to join but i feel like something is holding me back. any coments or advice?????

I was in a similar position as you. I have always wanted to join the Army but my family was against it and my girlfriend (very soon to wife) was against it. Somehow she came around to the idea and I ship out for basic training on June 23. If you want to do it, go for it. Make sure you know what you are getting into though.

Where are you located? If you are in the Sacramento area, you can come to one of our PT's to get a feel for it.

Manong0369
05-10-2009, 12:28 AM
just wondering if anyone can give me some good insight. i have been thinking about joining the military since i was a kid im about to turn 22 and i feel like my window is closing, i want to join but i feel like something is holding me back. any coments or advice?????

Joining the military, which ever branch you choose, is a big step. Do you have some college education? Having some college can help you with rank. Are you ready for the physical and mental strain that you are about to encounter? Know that you will get pressured regardless of branch. They will "break you down and build you up," as a member of a team. These ares some questions that you need to answer. My advice to every person that I speak with about military service is that you have to be committed to the branch of service you choose. Be it the Navy, Army, Air Force, and Marine Corps. You may want to look at the reserves or the National Guard. Then you may can think of going active after seeing how you feel. Oh yeah, I forgot the Coast Guard(DOT).:rolleyes: Good luck with your choice.

GTR645
05-13-2009, 10:31 PM
Originally Posted by sk1
just wondering if anyone can give me some good insight. i have been thinking about joining the military since i was a kid im about to turn 22 and i feel like my window is closing, i want to join but i feel like something is holding me back. any coments or advice?????

I'm in a similar position as you, but I plan on attending medical school before joining a military branch as a doctor. Living in San Diego, I've met a lot of former Navy personnel and have talked to them about it. Many enjoyed their time of service, but some wished they did things a little differently.

It sounds like it helps to have a 4 year college degree since that makes you an officer right out of the gates (I think). I was told to shop around and not believe every single word the recruiters say. We have the Internet at our disposal so use it in terms of research and get some real feedback from people who have already served or are currently serving.

I originally wanted to go Army Medical Corps (shiny captain's bars!) or Navy, but from what I've gathered, it's probably better to join Air Force or Coast Guard. I don't plan on making the military my career, but I'd like to serve for a short period of time.

Stormfeather
05-19-2009, 1:04 PM
Sounds to me like you've already been given sound advice by all here for the most part. Ignore the "Jody's" in the group. Some of us were meant for lifelong service, some weren't. Go with your heart and no regrets. Make the most of it, and take every opportunity that comes down the line.

Oh BTW. . .Manong0369, Coasties fall under DoD and DHS now!

Manong0369
05-19-2009, 3:23 PM
Yeah, I know. I just wanted to poke fun at them.:p I had buddies in the CG, but never deployed.

paul0660
05-19-2009, 3:31 PM
You are going to LOVE child support.

goathead
05-19-2009, 7:02 PM
Your daughter will always be your daughter, you have to support her the best you can. If that means going AD, then so be it.

Wifes come and go, if she cant deal with it then kick her to the curb.

HARDCORE :eek:LOL

Maton
05-24-2009, 6:27 PM
Dude, stevie wonder can see the writing on this wall.

You can convince her with sweet talk and BS all day long, but I guarantee if you go active, your marriage is going bye bye. She will be dong'ing some other dude within 6 months, tops. The majority of women are co dependant by nature and if you arent there to give them the attention they need they will either find it on their own or leave your *** and find it somewhere else.
end of story.


Not the answer u were looking for, but it is honest. I remember wives waving and crying while guys were loading up in the bluebird that morning, then dancing and drinking that night in the E-club. It was a sickening sight, but not all of them did that. I would say there were a few... less than 10% who did not go this route. You ultimately have to make your own decision, and remember one thing... take care of yourself so u can take care of your loved ones. One more thing, live life for yourself not others, yes it may sound selfish, but I remember not doing a lot of things because of others, and a couple years down the road that "other" wasn't there anymore and I kicked myself for not taking advantage of the opportunity when I had it.

mattymatt
05-27-2009, 10:58 PM
Aside from the going active, I don't know that you want to go LEO. I took that route after the military and realized it's way different and I didn't like it all. Not to say your experience would be the same as mine, but LEO's are different. Most military people are stand up guys, and most LEO's are guys that are making up for being picked on in high school. Not to make a complete generalization but that was my experience.

Fat_Rat
06-02-2009, 12:39 AM
Not the answer u were looking for, but it is honest. I remember wives waving and crying while guys were loading up in the bluebird that morning, then dancing and drinking that night in the E-club. It was a sickening sight, but not all of them did that. I would say there were a few... less than 10% who did not go this route. You ultimately have to make your own decision, and remember one thing... take care of yourself so u can take care of your loved ones. One more thing, live life for yourself not others, yes it may sound selfish, but I remember not doing a lot of things because of others, and a couple years down the road that "other" wasn't there anymore and I kicked myself for not taking advantage of the opportunity when I had it.

I remember my friends wife called me in the barracks while he was in the feild. :( I told him when he returned, he was removed from base houseing the argument was so bad.

NiteQwill
06-02-2009, 5:26 PM
Family v. Service

It seems she let you know what her decision is. Frankly, my family is number one in my heart, regardless.

Your choice. As someone who worked as a military counselor for awhile, the U.S. divorce rate is high BUT the military divorce rate is even higher.

Not to mention child support will be a b**ch, no court will grant you custody being active duty military.