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View Full Version : Need some advice on relationships guys (about to deploy)


Maddog5150
04-21-2009, 7:05 PM
I didnt want to put this in the general off topic forum since I feel you guys here would be better equipped to help me out. Here is the short story.
Fell in love with a girl. Everything was going great but then she always takes a "vacation" every two months to go see her "friend" at Ft Cambell. So this POG is doing god knows what as he is telling her he is SF and high speed. He threatened me on myspace :confused: which is pretty pathetic and wouldnt ever expect that from an elite. I checked out his profile and he is FAT and old and she told me he can't pass his 2 mile PT test run. (pretty sure SF pt test is a lot farther than 2 miles) and he is supposedly been in the Army for 15 years and is SF yet he is still E5. I thought SF promotes way faster especially in that amount of time frame.
So he is lying to her and well, we all know whats probably going on. I thought I was going to marry this girl eventually. I gave her a little bit of space so she could make a decision in her life then she starts all this ****. I think she is just playing me now. One day we have great sex then the next day, "oh that was the last time. we are just friends." and goes back and fourth. She was one of the only people who wrote to me all the time when I was at OSUT so I thought she cared about me. She randomly deleted me off of myspace, I called her out on it and, "oh i didnt mean to. Sorry. I'll call you tomorrow."
I leave in three months for a year and this is pretty much the first time I've been actually in love.
Advice? I refuse to drop to his level and threaten him over the internet or on the phone. He does come out here once in a while. Oh yeah. He is currently married but going through a divorce. He doesnt want to push the papers till he gets back (he is deploying shortly also) so he can get the extra cash.

armygunsmith
04-21-2009, 7:38 PM
Sorry but it's clear that the relationship is a one way street. Kick her to the curb, you'll get over her soon enough. Besides, you need to keep a clear head when you're in the sand box. If you're dealing with drama at home while overseas you could get someone killed. Be safe when you're over there.

sorensen440
04-21-2009, 7:42 PM
I would end it

clonepsi
04-21-2009, 7:51 PM
She sounds like trouble. Get rid of her

PatriotnMore
04-21-2009, 7:52 PM
Maddog5150, I agree with what has been said. I am not big on handing out relationship advice, but I think you need to let this one go.

I know that is difficult, as you say you are in love, but love is reciprocal, by two people, and it sounds like you don't have that. You are going on deployment, and this is the perfect time to walk. I would add, you need your head in the game, and the distraction of drama at home is not in your best interest.

You are young, in the service, which is a demanding mistress, be patient. When the right woman comes along, and the timing is good, it will all be worth it.

Requiem
04-21-2009, 8:37 PM
Sounds like a dog tag chasing whore. Leave her.

mk19
04-21-2009, 8:51 PM
Falling in love such a western non-sense. i say dump her and move on. Her is a bit of AJ secret- never tell a girl you love her, only exception is when you are about to get some and say it while not meaning it. the crappier-not abusive, that is not cool- you treat a chick the more she'd love you.

dwa
04-21-2009, 9:22 PM
i would keep it how it is, just dont trust her. when you get mid tour leave tour leave you have your first stop lined up, and someone who might send u packages while deployed. just keep your money in your pocket.

ivanimal
04-21-2009, 9:24 PM
Say good bye to her for good.

Maddog5150
04-21-2009, 9:25 PM
For my mid tour leave I was going to tour europe. check out amsterdam, swedan (I hear the chicks there love americans) see the beaches of normandy.

Manong0369
04-21-2009, 10:07 PM
Enjoy life. This "PX Ranger" is not worth the trouble. If she is see you and that other guy, then what's to say that she will not do it to him. Get her out of you mind and focus on coming on safely. Keep safe!

jmlivingston
04-21-2009, 10:13 PM
Life's too short to spend it focused on drama queens....

.22guy
04-21-2009, 10:26 PM
Walk away, right now.

Refuse her calls, don't answer emails. Trust me, it's for the best.

Maddog5150
04-21-2009, 10:44 PM
Yeah. its hard but you all are right. Funny how its the stupid **** in life that gets you all wrapped up.
On another note. Isnt it illegal in UCMJ for this poser to claim SF? And illegal in UCMJ to be banging her if he is married?

sorensen440
04-21-2009, 10:45 PM
Dont worry about the other guy
he is not the problem just one of the symptoms

dwa
04-21-2009, 11:26 PM
Yeah. its hard but you all are right. Funny how its the stupid **** in life that gets you all wrapped up.
On another note. Isnt it illegal in UCMJ for this poser to claim SF? And illegal in UCMJ to be banging her if he is married?

i think but im not sure and yes.

Matt C
04-21-2009, 11:29 PM
End it, too many fish in the sea to waste time on a girl you can't trust.

xLusi0n
04-22-2009, 11:32 AM
Bro, she smells like barracks rat. Dump her. TRUST US. Too many women out there to be hung up on one.

As for your mid-tour vacation, that's similar to what I did. Took the R&R flight into Frankfurt (this is when RH AB was still there) and hit 6 cities in 5 countries in Europe in two weeks :D It was seriously the best move I made. Hit me up on the PM if you want some advice on where to go.

Back to the chick: dump her dump her dump her. Everyone here likely has a lot of experience in this field so if everyone is saying dump her...you should probably listen.

I could write a book about this, but I'm just going to skip to the conclusion.

Maddog5150
04-22-2009, 12:33 PM
Tried. She wont :43:

k0ncept
04-22-2009, 12:47 PM
<Removed - we aren't starting this game up again!>

You dont even have to dump her, just pull your head out of your *** and quit with all this love ****, your a man, grab your balls and laugh, you can still pee standing up!

This chick is just playing you, and please dont f yourself all up by getting married or even thinking about it, EVERY SINGLE one of my friends who was in the active forces, came home olny to find that thier wives had all cheated on them.. Just keep yourself single, PIITB and keep playing your cards..

If you Marry this chick, she will ruin your life, just change her nickname to DRAMA and PIIHBFTW! lol...

gose
04-22-2009, 12:56 PM
Go on a road trip with Neil. You guys will have a blast in Vegas!

nicki
04-22-2009, 1:28 PM
I don['t know how old you are, but you need to make decisions for yourself as far as relationships go.

I evaluate all people really quickly and I am a brutal *****. I don't waste my time anymore, so here is my critieria and it will save you and others alot of gried.

1. Of course, attraction. If you are not attracted to someone, why bother.
If your energy with that person isn't a off the scale, move on.

2. Core values. This is tough, but if your values are not in sinc, the relationship will blow apart. If you are looking for just friends with benefits, that is one thing, but if you want something deeper, you shouldn't be wasting your time and energy.

3. What are your goals for your life, what is your purpose? Is someone you are with going to help you get where you want to go or are they going to hold you back. Drama queens hold you back.

Saying what you want to do with your life shows you have direction and actually have balls. It shows you are a leader, not a sheep.

4. Of course family and friends. If either of you have problems with family/friends, this could blow a relationship apart.

Love is troubling because you think with your heart, not your head. You are going to be in hostile territory, your head has to be right.

If someone is not with you 100 percent, dump them.

Relationships don't need to be complicated. It is simple, you are with each other or you aren't.

A movie that is a great love story is "True Romance". It is on video. Also a great action flick.

Nicki

Timberwolf
04-22-2009, 1:38 PM
Access, face, step left and move forward or more bluntly kick her skanky butt to the curb

Stockton
04-22-2009, 1:51 PM
You did the recon and you have the intel. Now negotiate that obstacle so you can hit the objective. Mark that on your map though you can always use it as a RP from time to time. CM!

ilbob
04-22-2009, 2:21 PM
Ditch her as quick as you can. Why do you even need to ask?

xLusi0n
04-22-2009, 4:42 PM
2. Core values. This is tough, but if your values are not in sinc, the relationship will blow apart. If you are looking for just friends with benefits, that is one thing, but if you want something deeper, you shouldn't be wasting your time and energy.



Not to be mistaken for the 7 Army Values :D

Maddog5150
04-22-2009, 5:08 PM
Basically told her whatever.
Thought about the whole trust thing that you guys brought up. Now I have a date after work today ;)
Not with her of course :D

capo
04-22-2009, 5:20 PM
Good on ya

chris
04-22-2009, 8:48 PM
kick her to the curb. there are plenty of single Army chicks that you can hook up with.

besides it's been said allready keep your head in the game there not here.

CSDGuy
04-22-2009, 9:16 PM
Dude... Military life just isn't very conducive to good, stable, long term relationships. Military life can be a pain in the backside on families too. That being said, the right person will be the exception to that rule.

You need to be very careful about who you pick for a relationship. Stay away from drama queens. Want long term relationship? Think low maintenance and someone you trust. COMPLETELY.

99medic
04-22-2009, 10:20 PM
Dont be another military divorce statistic.

Kick her to the curb and pin her down with the car tire and RUN!!!!:43:

You'll thank us old NCO's later.:thumbsup::thumbsup:

Trust me you will meet somebody way better with a good head on her shoulders. :thumbsup::thumbsup:

Marrying a drama queen skank will be expensive for you financially and emotionally in the long run.

supermario
04-22-2009, 10:42 PM
Walk away, right now.

Refuse her calls, don't answer emails. Trust me, it's for the best.



+1, Sorry I am not military but I have been married for 12years, (good marriage) and take the advice, leave her. She will just continue to destroy you, i was with a woman like that, they just used guys like us when they are bored or need something! Trust me, there are tons of good women left. If she really loved you, she wouldnt be visiting ANYBODY!! Why would you wanna love somebody who doesnt love you back.. Just leave and keep a clear mind.. Good luck and think with your brain and not your heart. You obviously know something is wrong, thats why you posted on here. Do the right thing buddy.. I was broken hearted for a year, then i realized what a dummy i was...

5968
04-23-2009, 5:59 PM
End it now. She is not worth your time and trust me when I say you meet other girls.

MrLogan
04-24-2009, 4:28 PM
Kick her to the curb.

On another note, someone needs to put this poser in his place. The mil has very little tolerance for posers.

If you have anything that you can use to prove he is posing, then contact his CoC, and he WILL be dealt with.

Trapper
04-24-2009, 8:45 PM
Spring of 1993, She was a bartender here in SD, great body, beautiful smile but she was nuttier than a squirrel turd. Her #1 goal was to find a military man to rescue her from all the chaos and confusion she created in her life. I was in my early 20's and thought her insanity was a minor flaw that we could work through.
It took me several weeks to figure out that the f-ing I got wasn't worth the f-ing I got and we broke up just before deployment. When we returned six months later, she stopped by my command, "just to say hi" She had gotten on base with her new dependant ID, and was three months pregnant.......
No need to go on with my story but please trust me, she ain't worth it.
Break up with her now.

carlito100
04-29-2009, 9:58 PM
I think you should break up and move on, life is way too short to put up with all the BS. She is someones future ex, alimony and all, don't let it be you.

Stormfeather
05-03-2009, 2:37 PM
You did the recon and you have the intel. Now negotiate that obstacle so you can hit the objective. Mark that on your map though you can always use it as a RP from time to time. CM!

ahhhh, isnt it great to be able to dispense this advice finally instead of being the one hearing it! Mark of a true NCO here!

Spring of 1993, She was a bartender here in SD, great body, beautiful smile but she was nuttier than a squirrel turd. Her #1 goal was to find a military man to rescue her from all the chaos and confusion she created in her life. I was in my early 20's and thought her insanity was a minor flaw that we could work through.
It took me several weeks to figure out that the f-ing I got wasn't worth the f-ing I got and we broke up just before deployment. When we returned six months later, she stopped by my command, "just to say hi" She had gotten on base with her new dependant ID, and was three months pregnant.......
No need to go on with my story but please trust me, she ain't worth it.
Break up with her now.

I see you met my ex-wife. . . . her initials wouldnt have happened to have been Stacey Leann Browning would it? Hahahaa! A true Corps-Whore in every sense of the word!

sega18
05-03-2009, 6:46 PM
On another note, someone needs to put this poser in his place. The mil has very little tolerance for posers.

If you have anything that you can use to prove he is posing, then contact his CoC, and he WILL be dealt with.


X2. I don't like military posers.

BB63Squid
05-04-2009, 10:23 PM
So...how'd the mystery date go?

Maddog5150
05-04-2009, 10:55 PM
heheheh. VERY good ;)