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11Z50
10-01-2008, 7:41 PM
How many of you remember this when you first got to your unit....

go to supply and get me 100 feet of flight line

a box of grid squares

a gallon of prop wash

a package of azimuths

a pound of muzzle blast

Anybody else?

JDoe
10-01-2008, 7:53 PM
A longer dipstick. This one doesn't reach the oil.

reggie 00
10-01-2008, 7:55 PM
10ft of gig line
200ft of shore line
bucket of steam
Mail buoy watch
go fill out the Id10T form for that req

smokingloon
10-01-2008, 8:03 PM
keys to the hummv

stphnman20
10-01-2008, 8:09 PM
anyone have blinker fluid?

ke6guj
10-01-2008, 8:23 PM
anyone have blinker fluid?

These guys normally do, but they are temporarily sold out.

Blinker Fluid (http://kalecoauto.com/index.php?main_page=product_info&cPath=2&products_id=6)

:D

stphnman20
10-01-2008, 8:27 PM
These guys normally do, but they are temporarily sold out.

Blinker Fluid (http://kalecoauto.com/index.php?main_page=product_info&cPath=2&products_id=6)

:D
:eek:

weekend_plinker
10-01-2008, 8:34 PM
710 cap for the engine
http://kalecoauto.com/images/710cap.jpg
muffler bearings

Radiator cap for a 65 vw bug

piston return spring
http://www.lambretta.net/shop/0208A.jpg

elbow grease
http://www.cartoonstock.com/newscartoons/cartoonists/tzu/lowres/tzun720l.jpg

Left Handed Metric Screwdriver
http://kalecoauto.com/images/lmsdriver.jpg

fuel level gauge light
To use open gas cap use light from lighter to see level of gas in tank
http://www.biclighter.com/about/bigblue.jpg

11Z50
10-01-2008, 9:00 PM
Then there's the BFH (Big Friggin Hammer)

BFR (Big Friggin Rock)
BFB (Big Friggin Bird)
BFL (Big Friggin Lizard)

And on and on......

For those of you that were tank/mech infantry,

Go get me some track tension,

a collimation wrench

a bore evacuator mirror

MrSlippyFist
10-01-2008, 9:03 PM
PRIQ E-5

jmlivingston
10-01-2008, 9:14 PM
I was a medic, so for us it was Fallopian Tubes.

When I was flying Medevac, it was prop wash.

John

BillCA
10-01-2008, 9:37 PM
Whaddya mean no prop wash?
Go back and tell him to look in the hangar's basement where he keeps that stuff!

Hand me the adjustable metric wrench
6 inches of vacuum
16oz can of Stealth Spray
Air brake shoes
A gallon of jet blast

Librarian
10-01-2008, 9:45 PM
Buffer amplifier for polishing floors.

Electric hammer (400W soldering iron!)

BRT (Big Round Thing)

Did you know that filling out the paperwork for a maintenance job whose complaint is "IFF does not work in OFF position" and completing the "How malfunction" field with "Pilot error" can create some hard feelings?

11Z50
10-01-2008, 9:58 PM
The thing I learned from being a door gunner in a UH-1 when I heard my pilots talk was IFR means "I follow roads." VFR means "visually follow roads".

dustoff31
10-01-2008, 10:03 PM
The ever popular road wheel pump.


Heard from some commo guys: Oscillating fragistat

mk19
10-01-2008, 10:27 PM
oh this birngs memories, i used to send people to get all kinds of stuff,
ID10t form
level bubble from tool room
i'll try and remember more of my mischieves.

Moonclip
10-02-2008, 1:13 AM
I never fell for any of that dumb gig line or chow line crap in the USN.

scarry scarney
10-02-2008, 9:36 AM
Did you know that filling out the paperwork for a maintenance job whose complaint is "IFF does not work in OFF position" and completing the "How malfunction" field with "Pilot error" can create some hard feelings?
Sign off Pilot error, by "R2 Stick Actuator. " (Remove and replace pilot)

Also, don't forget, "keys to the aircraft."

I used to work as a MTA (military training advisor) on FMS (foreign military sales), and was "loaned" out the Royal Air Force (British), and went out to work on a Jaugar. They actually had a key to unlock the cockpit. At first, I thought they were trying to pull my leg.

kermit315
10-02-2008, 11:35 AM
we used to have the new guys pump up the brakes on the prowlers using the tow link on the nose.

and E-2C's do have keys.

Ledbetter
10-02-2008, 2:27 PM
Johnson Rod. Metric.

Reminds me of mechanic's responses to pilot complaints:

"Auto-Land a little rough." Response: "Auto-Land not installed on aircraft."

Super-Dave
10-02-2008, 2:38 PM
We would send them for a box of track balls. Or in heavy seas go find a barf meter. Even heard of some BMs falling for the seabat trick.

rod
10-03-2008, 5:34 AM
I was sent to go get a BT Punch once. I punched him back and got in trouble.

6172crew
10-03-2008, 12:29 PM
As John mentioned, a bucket of rotor wash.

The funniest one was sending new guys out to get a APU exhaust sample with a garbage bag.

The APU on the CH46E was a 100 hp jet turbine.:D

sloguy
10-03-2008, 1:04 PM
when i worked at a pizza place we used to get the new people to rotate the ice in the ice maker. we would tell them the old ice needed to be used first. this one waitress rotated ice every shift for about a year.

ch47gunner
10-03-2008, 1:21 PM
One of the crew's main jobs was to call-out other aircraft to the pilots, and make them aware that they were in our vicinity. Especially fast-movers (jets).
As aircrew on Army CH47's, when spotting a likely bird, we used to take advantage of newby Peterpilots by calling out "you have a B1RD at 10:00 o' clock".
Bucket of Rotorwash, Roll of Flightline - all used on newbies.

6172crew - Army CH47's also have Turbine APU's.

Bruce

hitman13
10-03-2008, 3:01 PM
chemlight batteries

MrSlippyFist
10-03-2008, 3:19 PM
HMWV Under-dash hood release latch
HMWV Spare Tire

napahunter
10-03-2008, 5:05 PM
Good memories ..I need a Box of reticles!

chris
10-03-2008, 7:35 PM
spark plugs for the 2/12 ton.

hitman13
10-04-2008, 5:23 AM
all the USMC grunts should know this one for sure:
<starts to rain>
"OK YOU SON OF A *****ES, WHO THE **** OPENED THE CHARMS!!??"

hitman13
10-04-2008, 5:24 AM
and dont forget good old e-tool quals!!!

hooookup
10-04-2008, 9:29 AM
This isn't military related but funny none the less. Years ago I worked on a sportfishing boat out of San Diego. As the FNG, they told me they needed to calibrate their radar and they needed my help. They dressed me up in a tin foil suit and tin foil hat and had me run up and down the dock waving my arms like a bird. They got a good kick out of that, as did everyone else on the dock.

One time the skipper asked me to get some red running light fluid as we were taking on bait. I went into the head, pissed in a bucket and brought it proudly to the skipper. He let out a big chuckle, patted me on the back and welcomed me to the crew.

goathead
10-04-2008, 2:08 PM
jumping up and down on the back of a M1A1 doing a shock aborbers test

dwa
10-04-2008, 4:20 PM
i used to tell the new guys to get me FM (field manuel) 102.7 (local radio station), blank adapter for m203, blank adapter for shotgun.

Stormfeather
10-06-2008, 3:35 PM
Case of black smoke for night ops, black smoke to b eused with the IR NVG's

pidooma
10-06-2008, 3:49 PM
I was a medic, so for us it was Fallopian Tubes.


I heard that one from some radio techs in the AF having some fun with the new guy.

During tech training in the Air Force, there was "Mattress Exchange Day." Trying to get the new guys to haul their mattresses downstairs.

One of my favorites was getting the number of a local Kentucky Fried Chicken, writing the number down on a note ("Sgt. So-and-so, Call Col. Sanders, ASAP." and sending the note via a runner to said Sgt. It was hard to keep a straight face when said Sgt. came storming in to the office asking who had written the note.

larryb
10-06-2008, 4:19 PM
Assigning a new private a hammer and have him go check the tanks for soft spots in the armor.

Fjold
10-06-2008, 5:27 PM
Relative bearing grease

Dress up the non-quals (newby's) in the life vest, foul weather gear and safety harness and then have them stand by under the bridge ladder in Control (where you steer the Sub) with a boat hook to pick up the Mail Buoy.

Send the non-quals up to the Machinery Room to get a Machinist's punch (some of those A-gangers would knock a newby on their butt with a good punch)

5hundo
10-06-2008, 7:16 PM
How many of you remember this when you first got to your unit....

go to supply and get me 100 feet of flight line

a box of grid squares

a gallon of prop wash

a package of azimuths

a pound of muzzle blast

Anybody else?

For my first assignment, I was an executive officer at the 9OG at Beale AFB. I was a butter-bar Lt filling in for a Captain and I was WAYYYYYYYY over my head.

One day, a SMSgt from maintenance called me and told me to tell the 9th OG commander that an airplane had been impounded... :confused:




Don't get ahead of me!!! :D




So I asked the SMSgt something really stupid: "Impounded? You mean by the Police?" :o

I was younger and much stupider back then... ;)

BB63Squid
10-07-2008, 11:12 PM
Yeah..seen several of these. On the Fox and the Missouri we sent a guys to stand Mail Buoy watch, even had a few relieve each other.

One sent for relative bearing grease and a few for BT punches. I also sent my minions down to the BT's and MM's to get their crows tacked on.

Sent a few for Sound powered phone batteries.

The best was on the Missouri on our way to Gonzo Station. We sent an OSSN all round CIC/CEC and the bridge to get the E.M.H.O. log signed. The OOD called down to CEC to chew our butts out after he entered his E.M.H.O. findings.

docsmileyface
10-08-2008, 7:37 AM
We found a Pathfinder FM in an old locker and had our office guy give it to a new private telling him he had to learn the book because he was slotted to be his squad's pathfinder and that it was no longer a school, it was just in house training so we'd ask him questions that weren't even in the book and smoke the **** out of him, we told him it was a sensitive item then we'd steal it from him and smoke him for it.... we also got him to learn his 9-line medivac and how to do a 7-step inverted Y LZ so it wasn't all just hazing, he did get a little out of it besides extra PT.

When we were doing our drivers course a couple years ago we got a couple guys to stand behind the HUMVEEs with plastic bags trying to collect exhaust samples, then we had them put their ear to it thumping, looking for soft spots in the armor to mark with 100mph tape.

Bill_in_SD
10-08-2008, 12:48 PM
Where did we put the Load Shed Keys? Ask the Chief Engineer, it is important enough to wake him up at 0330.....

Go check with the DSes for a box of ball tabs.....

Who let the smoke out of this computer? Never let the smoke out.....

Cardinal Sin
10-08-2008, 1:02 PM
Ask the TM's (and STG's) where to pick up the air slugs for the MS's, (Now CS's).

Had a midshipmen run around with a chit to crank the mast before we got to the Coronado bridge. It was working fine until WEPs stopped it . . . kill-joy

Sent a BM to the MS's to get a "killer tomato" for the GM's

Had an OS ask the OOD where to stand for the "Rat-guard"

Had a STGSN don the SAR rescue gear for a Dome-Dive in the Nassco Dry Dock, (funny to watch).

Sent a YN to the CDO for get some flight-quarters for the Air-Det.

Sent a JO to get some deck wash for his wash khakis, (that was one pissed JO when he came back, lol)

napahunter
10-08-2008, 1:21 PM
Anybody have to go and find a bottle sqelch oil? That was one of the first thing i had you find if you were on my tank.

Moonclip
10-08-2008, 7:42 PM
. I also sent my minions down to the BT's and MM's to get their crows tacked on.

Sent a few for Sound powered phone batteries.

.

Crow tacking and blood pinning was frowned on in my era but still done a little bit. As I am on the larger side the crow tackers only tried it one or two times.

I never fell for that dumb sound powered phone batteries bit or the mail buoy.

BB63Squid
10-08-2008, 10:12 PM
Crow tacking and blood pinning was frowned on in my era but still done a little bit. As I am on the larger side the crow tackers only tried it one or two times.

I never fell for that dumb sound powered phone batteries bit or the mail buoy.

Just read your sig , how do you afford ammo? Dayum!

Moonclip
10-08-2008, 10:55 PM
I only have a small amount or none for some of the calibers, and some guns have not been shot for 5-7years. Also the guns I have the most of .22lr(30ish) and 9x19(20ish) are cheap to feed.

I have a feeling in the military of 2008 such practices are very frowned upon I think. By the 1990's it mainly (oficially) was a no no already.

MrLogan
10-14-2008, 9:27 AM
Chemlight batteries. :D

sergeantrex
10-14-2008, 1:59 PM
Had a job once where they asked me get the left handed shovel. I was too smart for that one

be1498
10-22-2008, 8:42 PM
I was in radar maintenance in the 80's, and we sent FNGs for a "gallon of SIF paint."

M. Sage
10-22-2008, 9:44 PM
I was in radar maintenance in the 80's, and we sent FNGs for a "gallon of SIF paint."

What's "SIF"?

5hundo
10-27-2008, 4:21 PM
April fool's day was always good fun at LAAFB. When I was an Exec, I gave a message to a 2LT to return a phone call to "Mr. Lion"...

...I gave him the number of the animal manager for the L.A. Zoo. :rofl:

be1498
11-02-2008, 10:07 AM
What's "SIF"?

IFF/SIF stands for "Identification Friend or Foe/Selective Identification Features."

A "skin paint" is a radar return, a "SIF paint" is a aircraft transponder response from an interrogation by the radar set's associated equipment.

Fire in the Hole
11-02-2008, 3:34 PM
I guess the shoulder firing adaptor for the mortars, or belt buckle Claymore firing adaptor.

4 Brigada
11-03-2008, 3:21 PM
Although some one has already mention de keys to the plane, I had a jeep assigned just as I was leaving to do an engine run on a F4. I was in hurry so I sent him off so he wouldnt get in the way for the keys. Got the run done, he was standing there. Told me the NCOIC wanted to see me. 2 weekend duties, and 2 weekend flightline fireguard duties made me see the error of my ways.

4 Brigada
11-03-2008, 3:27 PM
Did anyone of you see the K9P lube? left next to the panel strecher.

Nikola
11-03-2008, 6:36 PM
On a submarine:

Go feed the shaft seals!

Delta V
11-16-2008, 4:41 PM
The only one I evergot tagged with was. as a Midshipman, sound-powered telephone batteries. Made it to the reactor control room from the Control Room on an SSN, and realized it as I was blurting out the request.

I did participate in sending searchers on to other people for the various items they were seeking ... :chris:

SnWnMe
11-16-2008, 6:29 PM
Back on the John C Stennis (w00t Chief!) we were getting ready to pull into Hawaii I sent one of the booter mess cranks to the pecker checkers for Channel Fever shots. I called ahead to HM1 of course and he had the biggest needle waiting for the poor FSA. The guy ran away LOL.

Decoligny
11-19-2008, 9:03 AM
The new guys would get shown the "Voice Activated Light-All Unit". We had a guy climb in and hide inside and when he heard "Light-All ON" he would flip the switch and the light all would start. When he heard "Light-All OFF" he would flip it off. When the new guy couldn't get it to work later on, he would come back saying that the Light-All was busted.

hotwls13
11-19-2008, 9:45 AM
We used to send guys for Prop wash, 100ft of flightline, 10 gallons of Sailboat fuel. :)

I can't remember what we called it, but we made up a signoff sheet with ALL the Section heads names on it. The NEWB would spend the better part of a day going all over base trying to get signatures. Everyone was in on it (except the newb of course). Good way for the Newbs to get a face to face with the Officers and Senior NCO's.

Good times. :D

74man
11-23-2008, 7:50 PM
I used to hear, "I can't wait to be a PFC"?? POOR FRIGGIN CIVILIAN.

gunsmithcats
11-23-2008, 8:25 PM
Oh the days of the E tool competition....

QuarterBoreGunner
11-23-2008, 8:35 PM
This really reminds me of Skippy's List (http://skippyslist.com/list/)...

JDay
11-28-2008, 12:33 AM
10ft of gig line
200ft of shore line
bucket of steam
Mail buoy watch
go fill out the Id10T form for that req

You forgot the key to the sea locker.

JDay
11-28-2008, 12:43 AM
We would send them for a box of track balls. Or in heavy seas go find a barf meter. Even heard of some BMs falling for the seabat trick.

Oh man the sea bat. For those who don't know, don't look under the bucket :)

JDay
11-28-2008, 12:54 AM
Yeah..seen several of these. On the Fox and the Missouri we sent a guys to stand Mail Buoy watch, even had a few relieve each other.


That works best when you can manage to get a bag full of wet "mail" on the hook then make one of them go tell the captain they got his mail wet.

shonc99
11-30-2008, 4:52 PM
I can't believe none of the squids here haven't mentioned the:


Bulkhead remover
PU-55-Y form
"You dropped your" ..... stencil, gig line, etc.

mattman
01-24-2009, 7:50 PM
Ask the commo sergeant for a ST-1 (HINT: spelled out S.T.O.N.E.)

or a PRC E-6

mattman
01-24-2009, 8:01 PM
Anybody have to go and find a bottle sqelch oil? That was one of the first thing i had you find if you were on my tank.

I had a guy take a ball-peen hammer and tap all over the side of our track and mark "week spots" in the armor.

Suvorov
01-24-2009, 9:26 PM
For all the 19Kilos out there and their Marine equivalents - did any of you ever find the batteries for the MRS? :D

Or better yet, break a green chem-light in your hand and find the new guys telling him you "broke the MRS" as you smeared it on him?

jayfarley3
01-24-2009, 11:09 PM
we would usually just send the fng's to supply to get 100' of flightline or send them to NDI to get their steel toe boot x-rayed, and have the NDI guys red tag them and send them back to the shop with tagged boots in hand and barefoot.

RANDO
01-24-2009, 11:51 PM
its always a good time to send someone to look for the key to the sea chest

Decoligny
01-25-2009, 7:08 PM
For all the 19Kilos out there and their Marine equivalents - did any of you ever find the batteries for the MRS? :D

Or better yet, break a green chem-light in your hand and find the new guys telling him you "broke the MRS" as you smeared it on him?

I knew an AF Security guy who worked the "can neither confirm or deny" nuclear weapons storage facility. With new guys, they would cut open a glow stick and pour it out at the bottom of the door. The new guy would report "some glowing stuff" leaking out of the Nuke facility, and the rest of the security guys would put on their gas masks and hose the guy off to decontaminate him. Heard of a few times when the new guy would get so ticked off that he'd try to pop someone.

DirtSailor
01-25-2009, 7:28 PM
How about 10 feet of keel?

Or send the new guy to the bridge to ask the CO for the keys to the main engines so the ship can get underway?

SeaBat: take a bucket or a carboard box, attach a long piece of string to it and place it upside down on the flight deck. Have a group of people stand around it while one person is out of sight with the other end of the string. As the FNG comes up to see the seabat, the person with the string gives it a few tugs to make it look like something is alive underneath. As the FNG bends over to lift the box and see the seabat, he gets whacked in the @$$ with a broom.

Nordschleife
01-27-2009, 10:12 AM
Halogen fluid.

I had a newjoin looking for a gallon of that stuff for about an hour in the motor pool 'til he came back with a dumbfounded look on his face.

mattman
02-05-2009, 12:18 AM
When your doing PMCS at the motor pool have the new guy check the blinker fluid.

ke6guj
02-05-2009, 1:09 PM
When your doing PMCS at the motor pool have the new guy check the blinker fluid.
http://kalecoauto.com/index.php?main_page=product_info&cPath=2&products_id=6

CSACANNONEER
02-05-2009, 3:49 PM
Well I just got back from Miramar AFB where I laid out 1375 feet of flightline. Anyone who has flown in or out of there lately should know exactly what I mean. For the rest of you, there's a 1375' section of runway missing right now. But, after a bit of surveying while jets dusted us with prop wash as they did some touch and gos, the contractor should be ready to fill up the whole as soon as it stops raining. Oh, BTW, while surveying we did use small pieces of keel to mark things with. Really, keel is a crayon commonly used to mark lumber with. So, 10' of keel would problably be about 3 dozen pieces. I also own a left handed hammer that was made by Ridged a few years back.

Aznatama
02-10-2009, 2:49 PM
We always sent our new joins looking for one of the following:

ID-10T forms
Keys to the supply Humvee
go ask the Sgt for the long weight (aka "long wait")
Can of A.I.R.
Batteries for the chem lights

I've also Heard of:
muffler bearings
flight line
blinker fluid

I think one of the best ones is the ID-10T form... mostly because the noobs end up going all over the place, and end up learning where every other section is located, so the next time we tell him to go to the Motor T office, they know exactly where it is.