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6172crew
09-24-2008, 8:30 PM
The first recruit to sign up at the Tun Tavern walked up the the table and was told if he signed up he would get a free shot of whiskey.

The Second recruit walks up to the table and gets 2 free shots for his enlistment bonus.

When the Second recruit tells the First recruit what his bonus was the First recruit tells him...

"It wasn't that way in the old corps"
:D

WhoDat
09-24-2008, 8:34 PM
What do Marines and Submarines have in common?

WhoDat
09-24-2008, 8:41 PM
Seamen go down on both of 'em... ;)

OK, I was Air-Force & Army.... I'm sure Y'all Jarheads & Squids have plenty about us.

uscbigdawg
09-24-2008, 9:00 PM
Q: What's the easiest way to knock out a Marine?

A: Throw sand at a brick wall and tell him to hit the beach!

EOD3
09-24-2008, 9:23 PM
What's the difference between a Marine and a pig?

A pig WILL NOT stay up all night to sleep with a Marine

bohoki
09-24-2008, 9:27 PM
i liked that one joke about the snoring marine

PonchoTA
09-24-2008, 9:40 PM
What does "MARINE" stand for?

My
***
Rides
In
Navy
Equipment !!!

or

Muscles
Are
Required,
Intelligence
Not
Essential !!!


:D

hitman13
09-24-2008, 11:23 PM
The first recruit to sign up at the Tun Tavern walked up the the table and was told if he signed up he would get a free shot of whiskey.

The Second recruit walks up to the table and gets 2 free shots for his enlistment bonus.

When the Second recruit tells the First recruit what his bonus was the First recruit tells him...

"It wasn't that way in the old corps"
:D

****ING CLASSIC MAN!!!!

hitman13
09-24-2008, 11:29 PM
The first recruit to sign up at the Tun Tavern walked up the the table and was told if he signed up he would get a free shot of whiskey.

The Second recruit walks up to the table and gets 2 free shots for his enlistment bonus.

When the Second recruit tells the First recruit what his bonus was the First recruit tells him...

"It wasn't that way in the old corps"
:D

****ING CLASSIC MAN!!!!

doughboy334
09-24-2008, 11:37 PM
i'm not military, but i heard this one from a friend.

An officer walks into a mess hall and announces assignments for the group. He turns to the soldiers and tells them to assemble at the parade grounds at 0700.

Next he walks to the sailors and tells them to assemble at the parade grounds at 7am.

Finally, he walks over to the Marines and tells them to assemble at the parade grounds when the big hand reaches the 12 and the little hand reaches the 7.

:D

chris
09-25-2008, 4:19 PM
What do Marines and Submarines have in common?

60 men go down 30 couples come up?

bornproud
11-29-2008, 12:50 AM
Missguided
Army
Rejects
In
Navy
Equimpment

Seriously, all branches are great.

hitman13
11-29-2008, 4:58 AM
The Marine Sniper

A USMC sniper was real good at his job. This sniper had a method. He would yell out some insult at the enemy and when someone stood up to reply, Bang! One less insurgent!

After every mission the company commander would ask "How many insurgents have you shot today?"

However, on this particular day when asked about the number killed, he reported "Five killed and I let one go.

"Let one go?" roared the company commander. "What do you mean, you let one go?"

"Well, I yelled out 'Osama is a Homo!' Then this big insurgent stood up and yelled 'Obama is a Socialist!' I just couldn't shoot a fellow Republican!"

Rob454
11-29-2008, 7:35 AM
OOPS wrong thread

bornproud
11-29-2008, 5:44 PM
The Marine Sniper

A USMC sniper was real good at his job. This sniper had a method. He would yell out some insult at the enemy and when someone stood up to reply, Bang! One less insurgent!

After every mission the company commander would ask "How many insurgents have you shot today?"

However, on this particular day when asked about the number killed, he reported "Five killed and I let one go.

"Let one go?" roared the company commander. "What do you mean, you let one go?"

"Well, I yelled out 'Osama is a Homo!' Then this big insurgent stood up and yelled 'Obama is a Socialist!' I just couldn't shoot a fellow Republican!"

:rofl2:

Fire in the Hole
11-29-2008, 6:55 PM
Uncle
Sam's
Misguided
Children

F-2_Challenger
11-29-2008, 7:02 PM
U
Singed the
Mother f******
Contract

JDay
11-30-2008, 3:23 AM
Mrs. Smith, a teacher called on Johnny to tell a personal story with a moral.

Johnny said, "My Uncle Ted was a Marine pilot during the war in Vietnam, one day his plane got hit by a missile and was going down. Uncle Ted grabbed a case of beer, a machine gun and a machete and bailed out. On the way down he drank the whole case of beer. As luck would have it he landed in a field and was surrounded by 100 Viet cong soldiers. He started shooting his machine gun and killed 70 of them before he ran out of ammunition. Then he grabbed the machete and killed 20 more before the machete blade broke. He then killed the last 10 with his bare hands."

"Oh my God!" exclaimed Mrs. Smith, "What could the moral of that story possibly be?"

Johnny said, "The moral of that story is.. Don’t mess with Uncle Ted when he’s been drinking!"

6172crew
11-30-2008, 9:36 AM
The Marine Sniper

A USMC sniper was real good at his job. This sniper had a method. He would yell out some insult at the enemy and when someone stood up to reply, Bang! One less insurgent!

After every mission the company commander would ask "How many insurgents have you shot today?"

However, on this particular day when asked about the number killed, he reported "Five killed and I let one go.

"Let one go?" roared the company commander. "What do you mean, you let one go?"

"Well, I yelled out 'Osama is a Homo!' Then this big insurgent stood up and yelled 'Obama is a Socialist!' I just couldn't shoot a fellow Republican!":D:D Im going to have to pass this one along to a few jarhead buddies.

Stormfeather
12-01-2008, 6:12 AM
Urine
Samples
Make
Civilians

that was one from back in the day when they first instituted the Zero Tolerance Policy.

Yes Marines are a Dept of the Navy, Its the MENS DEPT!

Stormfeather
12-01-2008, 6:13 AM
U
Signed the
Mother f******
Contract

fixed it for ya!:rolleyes:

MrLogan
12-05-2008, 12:17 PM
The Marine Sniper

A USMC sniper was real good at his job. This sniper had a method. He would yell out some insult at the enemy and when someone stood up to reply, Bang! One less insurgent!

After every mission the company commander would ask "How many insurgents have you shot today?"

However, on this particular day when asked about the number killed, he reported "Five killed and I let one go.

"Let one go?" roared the company commander. "What do you mean, you let one go?"

"Well, I yelled out 'Osama is a Homo!' Then this big insurgent stood up and yelled 'Obama is a Socialist!' I just couldn't shoot a fellow Republican!"

:rofl2:

jpkotor
12-09-2008, 1:31 PM
The Marine Sniper

A USMC sniper was real good at his job. This sniper had a method. He would yell out some insult at the enemy and when someone stood up to reply, Bang! One less insurgent!

After every mission the company commander would ask "How many insurgents have you shot today?"

However, on this particular day when asked about the number killed, he reported "Five killed and I let one go.

"Let one go?" roared the company commander. "What do you mean, you let one go?"

"Well, I yelled out 'Osama is a Homo!' Then this big insurgent stood up and yelled 'Obama is a Socialist!' I just couldn't shoot a fellow Republican!"

i'm overwhelmed by how great that joke is. i've already passed it along.